Newly divorced - how long did it take you to

[newholidayx2]

reclaim yourself? To rebuild your life into something happy and not just existing? To not let anyone keep you down/keep you from growing/getting that new life? Separated now for a year, divorced for 3 months

 

[Tina]

Its takes a few months, but you'll find yourself again. Many of my friends were happy to see the "old me" return after 10 years of trying to be someone else. I'm happy to be back. You will be too.

 

[Tuffcookie]

OP,



I was divorced many years ago but I remember the feeling! I had a small child (oldest DS was over 18) to raise so that kept me focused in that direction.

I don't remember how long it took for me to feel like my old self again. It was a gradual process. But I have really enjoyed my "singleness". Youngest DS just turned 18 so I have much more freedom than I did when he was younger.

Just take it one day at a time and get involved in things that interest you.

TC

 

[apirateslifeforme]

to you.

Most people say it takes time. For me, though, I can honestly say the marriage was over long before we even physically separated. My ex moved out on July 1, 2006, and I spent a few days a bit bored, but I soon snapped out of it. I really enjoyed my new-found freedom. Our divorce was final on February 15, 2007.

In that time, I reconnected with my old friends, who had avoided me because they saw how toxic my ex was and I didn't. I pretty much did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted! I truly was happy being single...gave me some time to really think about what I wanted out of life.

 

[EdiePA]

I think it depends on how long you were married and the issues surrounding the divorce. (I was totally blind-sided by my ex's affair.) DivorceCare says that it's one year of healing for every four years that you were married. Sounds awful, doesn't it? It is a slow process, but a wonderful one. I've enjoyed my singleness and the opportunity to do things that I never would have (my ex thought world travel was seeing Epcot.)

I was married for 23 years, so I think it took about five years for me to be completely happy in my new life.

Hugs to you!

Edie

 

[LuvOrlando]

I have no advice, just a

 

[NY Disney fan]

My rule of thumb is it takes 1 year to heal for every 5 years you were together. Again, that is only *my* rule. Your questions are not easy to answer. Just take one day at a time.

 

[newholidayx2]

If that is the case - its going to take me about 7yrs to recover - married 1981 to 2009 (with year off divorced about 1988, yup married him twice)

I think it depends on how long you were married and the issues surrounding the divorce. (I was totally blind-sided by my ex's affair.) DivorceCare says that it's one year of healing for every four years that you were married. Sounds awful, doesn't it? It is a slow process, but a wonderful one. I've enjoyed my singleness and the opportunity to do things that I never would have (my ex thought world travel was seeing Epcot.)
I was married for 23 years, so I think it took about five years for me to be completely happy in my new life.

 

[Maridw]

It does take some time. I went through it 19 years ago. My DD was 3 at the time. If it hadn't been for good friends and family I might not have gotten through it. I was in England when I first separated from my ex. I had someone help me while I was still there. My mom says to this day, she was thankful I had that support otherwise, her and my dad would have had to come over and help me.

Thankfully within 3 years I met my current DH and we will celebrate 17 years together on the 2nd. He raised my DD as his own.

Make sure you use all the help that is offered to you. Even when you think you don't need it. You will be back to your "old self" in no time.

Good luck and go enjoy yourself!!!!