Newbie!! With a QUESTION already.. :)

[leighross12]

Hello fellow Disney lovers! I am currently in planning mode for our *FIRST* Disney family vacation!! I have been to WDW once when I was a teenager, but this time I will be joined by my hubby and our 4 kids! I have come here looking for ANY help, advice, suggestions on planning this great vaca!! Happy to be here!

My FIRST (im sure of MANY!) question involves advice surrounding my hubby! He is a great guy but with a SHORT tolerance for screaming children and vacations in general I'm sure you are wondering why he would want to go to WDW?! I agree....and actually tried planning this vaca with just me and the kids, but he insisted on going....even went so far as to say he was "looking forward to it." What?! On previous vacas, when he has become irritated and frustrated, his tantrums ended up ruining a good portion of our trips. I've tried discussing this with him and have told him that frankly, we are spending TOO MUCH $ on this trip for him to get there and be a pain in the rear the entire time!!!

Any suggestions on how to deal with a difficult family member? Other than leaving them at home Is Disney truly the "happiest place on Earth" for everyone? Still hoping the atmosphere will work its MAGIC on him!!!


Thank you!!

 

[vrajewski10513]

Take mid-day breaks. Its good for the kids and for adults too. It gives everyone a chance to relax and cool off by the pool, or in the hotel room.

 

[leighross12]

I was thinking that as well...our youngest will be 5 when we go, so I'm sure breaks will be included in our days! Thanks!!

 

[Happyjen27]

I LOVE that instead of convincing him to change, or making him feel bad, you're meeting him where he's at. This tendency might not be a choice on his part, but more how he's wired. Just like I have arthritic knees and wouldn't appreciate my husband making me feel bad because I can't do a 10 mile hike, I'm impressed that you're respecting his limitations and trying to plan around them.

I would just involve him in the planning a bit. Not a lot, planning a Disney trip can be overwhelming, but, offer options. Things like how many "sleep in" days he would like, would he like a whole day to himself, etc. Also build in flexibility, like not too many dining reservations, so if you're getting the sense he could use some down time you don't have to pay if you cancel.

Since you were already willing to do this trip alone, then it shouldn't be too hard to imagine a few days when you take the kids and leave him in the room to relax.

Since it's you both and 4 kids, if you're planning to stay onsite, would you consider getting 2 rooms? It would be cost prohibitive in some deluxes, but, it might be worth it to stay at a moderate and give him a really kid and stress free room to chill in now and then. And, you could use it to decompress, too!

 

[leighross12]

Actually, we will be purchasing 2 connecting rooms at Pop Century He will be in the room with our 2 sons (14,9) and I will be in the other room with our 2 daughters (12,4). We did this last year on a vacation to the mountains and it seemed to work pretty good. You are right, he likes having a room with the older boys so he can relax and not have to listen to all the whining and screaming that 4 year old little girls tend to do!! We have been talking about the trip more and I've been telling him about all the things I see that I think will be interesting to him. I'm also thinking about some days splitting up in the parks and let him take the older kids to some of the more "mature" attractions and me and Little Minnie (my 4 year old DIVA child!) will focus on more of the pre school attractions. I still want this to be a family vaca, but I'm thinking for things to go smoothly he will need some control somewhere! Thank you for your suggestions!

 

[kat_lh]

Ask him if there's areas he wants to be in charge of. My husband is in charge of picking out what quick service places we are eating at while I took care of making ADRs for our table service. He's also in charge of grocery ordering and coming up with packing lists. At first, he wasn't super thrilled with Disney but I'm pretty sure now, he's about as excited as I am. Plan lots of downtime. Book your FP+ for in the morning so you don't feel obligated to stay because you have something booked for 3 p.m. Focus on one or two areas of the park per day (assuming more than one day at MK) so you don't feel like you have to do it all at once. And feed him often!

 

[leighross12]

Ask him if there's areas he wants to be in charge of. My husband is in charge of picking out what quick service places we are eating at while I took care of making ADRs for our table service. He's also in charge of grocery ordering and coming up with packing lists. At first, he wasn't super thrilled with Disney but I'm pretty sure now, he's about as excited as I am. Plan lots of downtime. Book your FP+ for in the morning so you don't feel obligated to stay because you have something booked for 3 p.m. Focus on one or two areas of the park per day (assuming more than one day at MK) so you don't feel like you have to do it all at once. And feed him often!

HAHA..Love the "feed him often" comment! It's so true!

 

[sullyfam]

I think the people who have the least amount of fun at Disney are the ones who are the least prepared! So definitely involve him in the planning and give him permission to make some decisions (with your overseeing of course) so that he can take ownership. That way he won't feel like he's just following your lead the whole time.

Plan your mornings at the parks, then take some down time in the afternoons for relaxing time at the resort and take it easy in the evening. Have him plan a few things that he really wants to do so that he'll have something to be excited about.

MOST of all, have fun and enjoy this special trip with your family! It's the happiest place on earth after all so tell him to put his happy face on and enjoy

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

I think it's great that you're staying on-site. That way, if you see that he's starting to lose patience and get to the end of his rope, you can say, "honey, why don't you grab a bus and head back to the resort? We're going to ride a couple more things and then head back for a swim, so we'll be there soon too." Let him know that any time he wants to have some time alone in the a/c, he is free to get on the bus and go.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Have you tried medicating him with cocktails?

 

[scrapquitler]

Plan something that will be special for HIM, that he will enjoy based on HIS interests. Maybe a Tampa Bay baseball game, a round of golf, a visit to NASA, a romantic dinner with you while the kids are with an in room babysitter? If there's something special for him to look forward to, he might be more easy going with the rest of it. Or even let him sleep in one day or hang out by the pool while you and the kids do something else.

 

[tzolkin]

No one in my family is like you describe your DH, but 4 of the 5 of us are introverts who get overwhelmed by noise and crowds. (Most people find it shocking when they come to our house and it's nearly silent with three kids.).

Breaks from the parks will be the key to an enjoyable vacation.

Our first trip, my DH was rather hesitant and went along with a 10 day Disney trip "for the kids". Day two during a break at the resort and he was already talking about things he wanted to do "next time". We usually go every year and he looks forward to it maybe even more than the kids do.

Our first few trips we would only spend 3-4 hours in the parks at a time. Usually morning EMH, leave around 11am just as the crowds are coming in, go to a different park around 5pm for a few hours. It seems like a waste to some to not be in the parks all day, but for us it just makes everything much more relaxing and enjoyable. No one has any meltdowns. And we like to take in the little details of things outside of the parks. Sometimes even just a ride on an empty bus or monorail is wonderful.

Also, staying onsite makes it easy to split up. We have one DD who is significantly older than our other two, so we would plan one evening where she and I would go out and DH would stay at the resort with the younger two. DH enjoyed relaxing and getting to bed early and DD and I got some quality bonding time.

 

[leighross12]

Have you tried medicating him with cocktails?

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!

 

[lanejudy]

we will be purchasing 2 connecting rooms at Pop Century

Do you realize that connecting rooms cannot be guaranteed, and there is a chance your 2 rooms will not be close? If it's important to remain together, you might want to rethink the accommodations and get a family suite or cabin or such that keeps the family together. I can see rooms in different buildings being a major pain in DH's mind and leading to frustration on his part. Since you are trying to make things easy for him, I wanted to point that out. Maybe he'd be ok with it since he enjoys having a room with the boys and leaving you with the girls.

Enjoy your vacation!

 

[MandiC]

He sounds like my husband. I reccomend doing a suite at a value. If you can't get connecting rooms and end up having to split up I doubt his attitude will be very good. I also liked doing the dining plan because it cut down on dh stressing about the kids wanting/not wanting to eat at certain times, ect. The advantage also to staying on site is if he starts getting frustrated or needs a break you can send him back to the resort on the bus and you can stay in the park with the kids if you want and catch a different bus Try not to stress, know his limits, remind him that you are in Disney and they are only kids. I had to give the look to dh sometimes and other times I told him to go sit down and call me when he wanted to join back up with us.

 

[leighross12]

Thank you all for the great suggestions and advice! I'm trying to include him in the planning process and he seems really excited about going! So fingers crossed!!

 

[TravelingTotMom]

I push my DH in the morning to get moving (and keep emphasizing getting things done and not waiting in lines all day) with the promise of taking it at a slower pace later. We try to get the headliners that we don't have FP+ for out of the way, and then we go at a more leisurely pace. However, after a recent trip to Universal, we are thinking about a new strategy. I get up, moving, and out the door with our son, and he can meet us at the park later after getting ready at his own pace. I think this is more likely to happen when our son is older though b/c he doesn't want to miss out on anything now.

And (with the exception of MK) we take a beer break mid-afternoon. I also try to find a restaurant that I know he will really enjoy each trip.

 

[limpy]

My husband was definitely not too enthused about a Disney trip with our 4 year and 18 month old. But I pretty much made him an offer that he couldn't refuse - I researched and planned the whole thing, used credit card and rewards points to pay for most of it, and I made our schedule very kid friendly.

Our first few trips we would only spend 3-4 hours in the parks at a time. Usually morning EMH, leave around 11am just as the crowds are coming in, go to a different park around 5pm for a few hours. It seems like a waste to some to not be in the parks all day, but for us it just makes everything much more relaxing and enjoyable. No one has any meltdowns. And we like to take in the little details of things outside of the parks. Sometimes even just a ride on an empty bus or monorail is wonderful.

This is what we did. Early breakfast on parks days, tour until noon then head back to hotel, rested until about 4 and hit the park again until 7-8pm - this schedule really headed off any potential for meltdowns (children and adult). Renting a car and booking FPs reduce waiting around for buses and rides. We purposefully spent only one day with my parents, who don't really understand what it's like to visit Disney with small children.

 

[Julylady]

I would also have a serious talk with him again before the trip reminding him of his tendency to go all cranky and throw tantrums on vacation. Ask him what he wants you to do when he starts showing symptoms so that the situation is saved. Maybe a code word that lets him know his behavior is not acceptable? Or a promise that is he starts feeling overwhelmed he will return alone to the hotel? I had a family member that went with us once trip who had similar issues. When he began feeling cranky, he would go off by himself to EPCOT for a few hours and take pictures of the architecture. I think he did that twice on a 10 day vacation so not that bad. We also plan a lot of down time into our trips which helps a lot. We break each day into three sections - morning, afternoon and evening. We only visit the parks for two of the three each day. So if we are at a park at rope drop and stay through the afternoon, we spend the evening in the hotel. Or, we will sleep in and swim in the morning and then go to a park at noon and stay until closing.

Anyway....I would have a plan on how you and he will deal with his tantrums should they occur. Whatever you do, don't let him make you responsible for his moods. "I am cranky because you made us stay for this afternoon parade surrounded by crying kids."