New York City Boys in the World: Day Two Part III And the Inquisition begins...

[RickinNYC]

We’d been sitting for a bit, allowing Dennis’ world to stop spinning. The color eventually came back to his face and he realized he was definitely not going to die. At least not due to Mission: Space. His life was going to hang in the balance later this very day, and quite a few times during the trip. All because of yours truly. Read on!

We decided that we had had enough of Futureworld and wanted to go back to the World Showcase. At Joe’s suggestion, we decided to visit Canada first since he and I had repeatedly bypassed its many wonders earlier in the morning and yesterday evening. So we’re off! To the land of moose (meese?)!

As we strolled back past the fountain and down a winding walkway, we found ourselves face to face with my old friend, the dude in the bee suit. He had still not budged an inch so I’ll allow Joe his victory of proving me wrong. In fact, Joe couldn’t let the opportunity go without saying something.

“Hey Rick, the bee suit guy is still hanging out. Wanna get his autograph and pose for a picture?”

Giving the best impression of a fake laugh I could muster, I said, “No, but why don’t you stick…. Aaah, never mind, I forgot what I wanted to say but it was good.”

“Good one.”

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“You,” I retorted.

“No you.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what 13 years together will get you! It’s a wonder we’ve made it this far without our IQ points falling any lower than they have.

Joe noticed that the bee suit guy’s display had little cubbies with straws filled with honey. Yet another characteristic of Joe’s is that he absolutely loves free stuff. It could have been little dog poop droppings on a frilly toothpick and he’d want to take a few.

“Hey! Free stuff! Honey in a stick thing!” he happily announced as he picked up a few.

“Joe, leave some for other people. Geez, it’s just honey, not gold!”

“But it’s free! Nothing in Disney is free!” he replied, putting yet more in his pocket.

“Joseph Anthony Austin, will you quit it!” When nothing else works, pretend you’re Mom and use the full name. It never fails.

With a cowed look, Joe put a couple of the bee stick things back into their appropriate cubbies. “You’re not the boss of me,” he said, none too pleased.

We wandered off to catch up with Vinnie and Dennis, when Joe gleefully announced that he had discovered free honey and happily handed out the sticks to one and all. They all apparently knew exactly how to open the stick things without making a mess; successfully sampling each one. I, however, am as clumsy as an ox and can usually never seem to master the little things in life. I usually harm myself, or someone within the general vicinity. That being said, I bit down on the end of a stick and twisted, pulled, yanked and did my darndest to tear a hole in the stupid thing.

Without any notice, the stick did indeed pop open and disgorge its entire contents up my nose, along my cheek and drip down my chin. I successfully opened the stupid stick but not a drop found its way to my mouth. I assume it was good, I’ll never know.

Of course, I also happen to have a knack for performing such feats with a full audience and this was no exception. Joe, Vinnie and Dennis simply stood there, staring with amused looks on their faces.

“Why’d he just do that?” Vinnie whispered.

Joe answered, “He always does things like that.”

“Why?”

“Shhhh, he can hear us. I’ll tell you all about it later.”

And they turned in unison, heading off to Canada, stifling their laughter. Doing my best to wipe the honey off me, I shouted after them “I can see your shoulders moving! I know your laughing! Someone gimme a tissue.” And yet another note to self, don’t ever use cheap Kleenex to wipe honey off your face. You end up looking like a six year old’s art work.

I should mention that it was the first day of the International Food and Wine Festival and we had originally wanted to sample a few of the wares at the food kiosks. Please note that I stated “originally wanted” not “successfully did.” The lines were amazing! Folks were lined up longer than I’d ever seen them. Joe made the point that we live in New York City and we could very likely get whatever was being offered with little to no problem back home. So we decided to bypass them, one and all.

We wandered around Canada, looking at the plethora of stuff brought to you by the talented folks from Root. We marveled at all the maple candy and syrup. Joe kept saying “eh?” I kept telling him to quit it. We nixed the movie, we’d seen it a ton.

Up next was the United Kingdom. As usual, we picked up a few chocolate bars and other treats to snack on back in our room. I picked up something who’s name always escapes me but when I see it, I grab a few. Joe always gets a couple of Crunchies. He loves them. I wrinkle my nose and call them dried up bee vomit. That always ends up into another “does not,” “does too,” discussion. Hey, we can’t agree on everything.

We peruse the many items for sale. What was once a charming toy shoppe (spelled that way on purpose although my spell check keeps trying to change it) is now a Beatles paraphernalia store. Oh well, progress.

The line for the fish and chips was incredible. “Do you think they all know this isn’t part of the festival?” Joe whispered. I would guess not with all the impatient looks on everyone’s faces.

We leave the UK with our treats safely tucked away, some in our backpack, and others in our bellies. We crossed over the bridge passing by the International Gateway on our way to France. Dusk was fast approaching and we were getting pooped. We all agreed that when we got all the way over to America and saw the American Adventure show, we’d call it a night.

We walked amongst the mini fountain in front of the French pavilion and made our way towards the back. We passed the parfumerie, which prompted me to walk all that much faster. Yeesh, that place is stinky! You could almost see the cartoon flowers and waves of scent flowing out of the joint!

Once we reached the back area, Joe made a beeline for the berets. He plopped one on his head, insisted that Dennis do the same and demanded a picture. Dennis was game although he looked like he felt stupid. Joe looked like he felt cool. Nothing fazes him and everything is fun in his world.

I took his picture, we wondered the items and fondled the goods. The pavilion’s, not his or mine.

On our way out, the Inquisition began.

Dennis asked, “Why don’t the French and English get along?” I tried to answer but was interrupted, “How wide is the English Channel? And do the French call it the English Channel or do they call it something else? Why don’t they call it the French Channel in France?” And again, I tried to gamely answer when he asked, “Do you suppose Epcot built the UK next to France with a little river between the two on purpose?” As before, I tried to answer but never got passed opening my mouth. “And do French people really wear berets or is that a stereotype? Did they invent mimes? Why do they love Jerry Lewis or is that an urban legend? What about the Three Stooges? Don’t they like them too?” And on it went until we reached Morocco.

And again, Joe did the fez thing. He found his prized fez and plopped it on his head, while waving one at Dennis, “Put it on! Put it on!” And once again, Dennis was game. Vinnie would always smile and just wave his hand and shake his head. I think he was afraid to muss up his hair.

“Take a picture! Come on! Take a picture!” Joe would yell.

You know what’s fun about being the official picture taker? You can mess with your friends and loved ones. You can pretend to focus and make believe that the flash was charging up, all to force them to smile for far longer than necessary. Do it sometimes. They end up keeping that forced smile on their faces until they look constipated. It’s great fun!

We wandered the Moroccan back alleys. There is definitely some neat stuff to be had but I chose to save my money for other things, namely my watches. Joe, curious by nature, picked up every single thing he could find, studying every aspect until he saw the price tag. Which would eventually make him erupt in a gasp and then he’d put whatever it was back down. I made a note to myself to remember that. Whenever he was looking at something, I was going to tell him to look at the price tag. If anything else, it would prove amusing.

Once we were ready to go, I noticed something. Vinnie had yet to utter a word. Not since we left Mission: Space did he really do more than a hand gesture or grunt of assent. I sidled up next to him and asked if he was okay and he said he was. Joe was closer with him so I back tracked and whispered to Joe that he should make sure Vinnie was enjoying himself.

I watched as the two of them chatted for a bit. Satisfied that all was fine, I strolled slowly behind them. Dennis took that as an opportunity to begin his Inquisition once again.

“Where next? Japan? I’ve always wanted to go to Japan, have you ever been? You have? What’s it like? Are people really short? Can you speak the language? Why not? How long did you live there? Was it nice? Did you go to an American school? Why didn’t you go to a Japanese school? Where do your relatives live? When was the last time you were there? How come you haven’t been back? Is Godzilla really popular there? How about Ultraman? Did you watch Ultraman in Japanese?”

Now I need to point out that as you try to answer one question, Dennis has a tendency to interrupt you by asking the next question. And for some reason, he seemed to take a shine to me on this trip and didn’t do this to Joe or Vinnie. He had done it on the other occasions we had spent time together as a group but it was for short bursts, not a few days. I tried to suck it up and humor him but my patience was running thin and we were just barely through our second day.

And so it went. The questions were asked as we walked through Mitsukoshi Department Store, from one end to the other. Finally, I made up some excuse and wandered away to find some semblance of peace. I found Joe standing near a t-shirt display, “Do you believe all his questions? The boy just doesn’t shut up!”

Joe looked up, “Hmmm? Look at this t-shirt. It’s nice, eh?” And he poked and prodded at it a bit more. He looked like he was trying to estimate it’s thread count.

“Look at the price tag, Joe.”

“Holy sweet Jesus!” he gasped as he quickly hung it back up.

I used this opportunity to repeat my original question, “Is it just me or does Dennis ask way, WAY too many questions?”

“Yeah, I noticed but he’s a nice guy.”

“He’s driving me insane. If he keeps it up, I think I’m going to have to kill him.”

“Be nice, he’s young,” he admonished.

“What young? He’s twenty-five, not two! ‘Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green?’ Coming from a little two or three year old, it’s cute. Coming from a full grown adult, it’s enough to make you want to rip your own ears off your head and throw them at him!”

“Be nice.” With that final order, Joe wandered off to study something else. I was left, hiding from Dennis with some modicum of success.

I peeked around a doorway, to find the three of them discussing the many varieties of Japanese candy. Because all three of them were together, I figured it was a safe bet that Dennis wouldn’t interrogate me to death again. So I walked over and participated in the lengthy, “What exactly is Poky and why are there so many varieties?” debate. The discussion ended on a friendly note, with all of us splitting a box of the super skinny, chocolate covered pretzel stick like treats.

Next up, the American Adventure. We had just missed the pre-show, one of my personal favorites. I love the a capella singing, the harmony. It’s pretty moving and really gets you into the spirit of the show itself. But, alas, it was not to be tonight. We were quickly ushered into the theater with absolutely no wait and we grabbed our seats.

The show started and I was enthralled. Sure, I’d seen good ol’ Ben Franklin, Mark Twain and the rest of the gang more times than I can count, but it gets me every time. I always walk out of there with a huge lump in my throat, a tear or two in my eyes, and my chest puffed up in pride. Have the Disney Imagineers altered our history a tad, have they sugar coated it a bit. Heck yes. Have they reviewed some of the most heinous moments in American history and culture with glasses so rose colored, they’re downright day glo? You bet. But I don’t care. I love it. I still believe that this particular production show our history with respect, dignity and sensitivity. But that’s just my opinion.

Well, the night was still young, but we were all exhausted. Vinnie and Dennis decided to stroll over to Italy to try to get a table for dinner. Joe and I just wanted to head back to the Boardwalk and grab a bite back there. We said our goodbyes and agreed to speak in the morning. We had big plans for the Animal Kingdom, and later on at Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party.

Walking back through the International Gateway, we walked along the pathway to our resort rather than take the boat. Quite a few other people had the same idea but it was so peaceful and quiet. Everyone seemed exhausted and it was only 7:00. We chatted quietly as we slowly made our way back, deciding that we’d play Russian Roulette and see if we could get a table anywhere that would have us.

First stop, ESPN. Not a chance, there was line out the door. Then Spoodles, more of the same. The take out pizza window had a crowd so we walked over to The Flying Fish Café. Yet more lines. We looked down the way to the Brewery and saw even more people. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.

We decided to duke it out with the crowd at the take out pizza window and made our way to the front. The line wasn’t nearly as long as we had thought. It seems that the bulk of the crowd was all together.

“Why were they doing that? Just standing like that?” Joe marveled.

“Herding instinct,” I answered with finality.

“Herding instinct. What are you talking about? You just made that up.”

With shock, I looked at him, “Made it up? I saw it on Discovery Channel. It’s an innate instinct we all have. When we’re in a group, big or small, we have this unbidden desire to remain as a group. It comes from our collective unconscious; back when we were just apes swinging in the trees and we needed to keep together for protection. Herding instinct.”

“Huh. Really?”

“Nope. I made it up,” I responded with a massive grin.

With that, Joe gave me a whack on the shoulder, “You’re a big fat liar and I can’t believe I ever believe you. Never again.”

“Yeah, you will. Hey! A table” And I was off, quick like a bunny. I shouted over to Joe that he should just order whatever large pizza he wanted.

Not long after, Joe brought the food and drinks and we sat eating dinner. We chatted about the day. I complained about Dennis and his million questions. Joe scolded me once again that I was to be nice. I grunted and pouted. And then we talked more about nothing in particular and everything in general. It’s the kind of thing you do when your partner happens to be your best friend. We didn’t have any topic in mind and our thoughts ran the gamut from the mundane, to the preposterous, the gross, to the serious.

We decided that we’d dominated the table long enough and offered it to a young family that was searching in vain for one of their own. The look of absolute relief was absolutely priceless!

We strolled the shops on the Boardwalk, making mental notes to come back later in the week. We found ourselves sitting on a bench facing the water, alone, no one around. We chatted a little more until we were simply sitting quietly, knees touching. The old time music was quietly playing. We heard the distant toot of the boat bringing guests back from their day’s adventures. The constant but muffled stomp of feet walking along the boardwalk itself. Laughter. Chatter. All quiet but bright and cheery.

It was another end to another beautiful, magical day in Disney World. Good night!

 

[pixiechick]

Thanks Rick!! I've been waiting for the rest of your trip report. Keep them coming!

 

[chell]

Simply amazing!

 

[TammiMcMan]

One of our trips to WDW included a cousin who sounds an awful lot like Dennis. I feel your pain.

 

[corky805]

I have brother-in-law that is just like Dennis.....I can relate to the annoyance. It was a great day though and a great report. Please write more!!

 

[Minniespal]

Wonderful trip report ~ Thanx for sharing.

 

[DouglasF]

I just realized your time in Epcot with the boys reminded me of Ethan Mordden's Buddy Cycle of books. Especially with the young guy asking all the questions. Thanks for the laughs!