New Report on Adam Lanza

[Tiggeroo]

The elephant in the room, so to speak, is the stigma of mental illness. The mother was a person who seemed to care very much about what others thought of her and her family. Unlike cancer, many people judge mental illness is a disease that is "bad" and that you "choose to get" or shows a weakness on the part of the individual or the parents. As long as she avoided Adam being diagnosed and treated, she could avoid the social stigma.

We see this issue over and over and over again. When you get cancer, people line up to bring your family meals, send you flowers and start a fund raising campaign. When you get diagnosed with a mental illness people gossip about you, make snarky remarks and avoid you.....no flowers, no meals, no fundraisers. Too often, families hit with mental illness DO go it alone because everyone else is too afraid, too PC, too ashamed, too uninformed...too....well, you get the picture.

Yes, the mother was at fault for not seeking treatment for her son, but it took the rest of her "village" to reinforce her delusions because no one else wanted to deal with Adam, either. It was easier for the Dad to walk away, for the neighbors to look the other way, for the school to wash their hands rather than fight mom.....because dealing with mental illness stinks and no one wants to get involved.

IF we want to prevent another incident we must make mental illness just as "real" and important as cancer, diabetes, or any other disease. We must educate, work on prevention, and take action (we don't let blind people drive vehicles; perhaps people with certain types of diagnosed illnesses should not be allowed to possess or use a gun). And it has to start with each and every one of us. Do you know someone with a family member with mental illness? When was the last time you offered them a kind word, reinforced them for trying to help their loved one, or took over a meal or mowed their lawn? Perhaps today is a day you could take action.....who knows what a kind word might do. Perhaps it would prevent the next "Adam Lanza" from acting out.

and make insurance companies treat it like any other illness, as well as making sure their are competent doctors who accept the insurance. It is not equal to cancer in terms of coverage, even with good policies. And they frequently limit the number of visits. Also, employers should not be able to discriminate against a worker who needs to miss time to treat their mental illness. I also believe, and know there are many here who will disagree, that it should be easier to force a person with mental illness to get treatment. If you have cancer you are going to only hurt yourself. Not with a mental illness.

 

[robinb]

Which of course causes us again to question Nancy's frame of mind. At best, she was in severe denial.

yes, you are right.

 

[Deb in IA]

In the end, Adam alone was responsible for his actions, the authors state, adding that the vast majority of people with psychological and developmental illnesses do not commit violent crime.

I believe this is important to keep in mind.

Yes, there were a lot of warnings and red flags along the way that, in hindsight, were not handled appropriately.

But in the end, there was only one person pulling the trigger, and that was Adam Lanza.

 

[Squirlz]

Nope, not going to do that. You've made the claim, you back it up.

"Claim?" I stated the fact that there are lots of theories and anomalies surrounding the case; something I thought everyone knew by now. If you want to know more, look it up. If you don't, don't. It's no concern of mine either way.

 

[mnrose]

"Claim?" I stated the fact that there are lots of theories and anomalies surrounding the case; something I thought everyone knew by now. If you want to know more, look it up. If you don't, don't. It's no concern of mine either way.

I never, ever heard that this could be a hoax (it decidedly is not, lest someone thinks I believe this drivel). This thread is the first time, EVER, that I heard that someone thinks it's not real.

Someone who thinks that is in desperate need of mental health treatment being discussed in this thread.

Seriously.

I find it appalling that someone can come on here, make wild accusations and then claim the burden is on US to look it up and that it is something "everyone knew". Uh, no. Not biting. If you've got some LEGITIMATE basis for asserting what you did, please point us in the right direction. Otherwise, I'm going to assume that you are speaking without any factual basis whatsoever.

 

[OurBigTrip]

I never, ever heard that this could be a hoax (it decidedly is not, lest someone thinks I believe this drivel). This thread is the first time, EVER, that I heard that someone thinks it's not real.

Someone who thinks that is in desperate need of mental health treatment being discussed in this thread.

Seriously.

I find it appalling that someone can come on here, make wild accusations and then claim the burden is on US to look it up and that it is something "everyone knew". Uh, no. Not biting. If you've got some LEGITIMATE basis for asserting what you did, please point us in the right direction. Otherwise, I'm going to assume that you are speaking without any factual basis whatsoever.

SO very well said!!

 

[marmalade]

I never, ever heard that this could be a hoax (it decidedly is not, lest someone thinks I believe this drivel). This thread is the first time, EVER, that I heard that someone thinks it's not real.

Someone who thinks that is in desperate need of mental health treatment being discussed in this thread.

Seriously.

I find it appalling that someone can come on here, make wild accusations and then claim the burden is on US to look it up and that it is something "everyone knew". Uh, no. Not biting. If you've got some LEGITIMATE basis for asserting what you did, please point us in the right direction. Otherwise, I'm going to assume that you are speaking without any factual basis whatsoever.

I unfortunately knew before this post that there were disgusting people out there saying none of this happened.

 

[RitaE]

I never, ever heard that this could be a hoax (it decidedly is not, lest someone thinks I believe this drivel). This thread is the first time, EVER, that I heard that someone thinks it's not real.

Someone who thinks that is in desperate need of mental health treatment being discussed in this thread.

Seriously.

I find it appalling that someone can come on here, make wild accusations and then claim the burden is on US to look it up and that it is something "everyone knew". Uh, no. Not biting. If you've got some LEGITIMATE basis for asserting what you did, please point us in the right direction. Otherwise, I'm going to assume that you are speaking without any factual basis whatsoever.

Of course there are conspiracy theories. There are conspiracy theories about every major event. There are people who think the Moon Landing was faked. There are people who think 9/11 was an act against US Citizens created by our own government so we would approve of a war. Add in the internet crazy fuel atmosphere we live in today and the Sandy Hook shootings attracted more than it's fair share of that type of stuff.

It's really not anything new to mention now what people were saying about the event. The major news channels even covered some of this back during the time.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I never, ever heard that this could be a hoax (it decidedly is not, lest someone thinks I believe this drivel). This thread is the first time, EVER, that I heard that someone thinks it's not real.

Someone who thinks that is in desperate need of mental health treatment being discussed in this thread.

Seriously.

I find it appalling that someone can come on here, make wild accusations and then claim the burden is on US to look it up and that it is something "everyone knew". Uh, no. Not biting. If you've got some LEGITIMATE basis for asserting what you did, please point us in the right direction. Otherwise, I'm going to assume that you are speaking without any factual basis whatsoever.

Oh, I've seen many, many such claims ranging from Lanza being a patsy to it not happening at all. I'm not buying any of them, but I too assumed this was all common knowledge.

 

[Squirlz]

I never, ever heard that this could be a hoax (it decidedly is not, lest someone thinks I believe this drivel). This thread is the first time, EVER, that I heard that someone thinks it's not real.

Someone who thinks that is in desperate need of mental health treatment being discussed in this thread.

Seriously.

I find it appalling that someone can come on here, make wild accusations and then claim the burden is on US to look it up and that it is something "everyone knew". Uh, no. Not biting. If you've got some LEGITIMATE basis for asserting what you did, please point us in the right direction. Otherwise, I'm going to assume that you are speaking without any factual basis whatsoever.

I haven't seen any accusations here; did a post get deleted? And again, what you personally know or don't know is no concern of mine. The direction you are looking for is an internet search engine.

 

[mnrose]

Oh, I've seen many, many such claims ranging from Lanza being a patsy to it not happening at all. I'm not buying any of them, but I too assumed this was all common knowledge.

I have a very good BS meter, and therefore I probably tuned out any crap like this. It's just unbelievable what people will believe. Makes me really, really worried for the intelligence level of our country.

 

[mnrose]

never mind. Not worth it.

 

[Bluestars]

I hate to blame the parents, but it does seem that the mother in particular was resisting all the recommendations for treatment.

What I find hardest to understand was why, given his issues and his obsession with violence, she would teach him to shoot and give him access to guns.

TP

That's one of the most disturbing things about the situation. In no way should a mentally ill person have access to guns. The mother should have removed all of the weapons from her home. That's common sense. Also, there were so many times that the mother refused treatment for her son. Sadly, she played a part in this trajedy.

"Investigators have linked Ms. Lanza to five weapons: two powerful handguns, two traditional hunting rifles and a semiautomatic rifle that is similar to weapons used by troops in Afghanistan. Her son took the two handguns and the semiautomatic rifle to the school. Law enforcement officials said they believed the guns were acquired legally and were registered."

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/16/n...first-victim-recall-her-as-generous.html?_r=0

 

[MakiraMarlena]

The mother didn't want to deal with it anymore (she appears to have had some mental issues herself, maybe brought on by the circumstances she found herself in trying to be the only person dealing with a profoundly mentallly ill adult) and the father was basically absent. He didn't live in the same area. He says he tried to communicate with Adam via e-mail but he refused to communicate back. Hard when the parents aren't together and are at odds. The older brother had also moved away, leaving Adam and his mother as the only persons in the household. The medical/mental health professionals he did see didn't appear to know what to do about him either. It seems obvious in hindsight that he should have been committed. However, that's hard to have done legally. There is a state senator in Virginia who tried to have his adult son committed when he was having a mental breakdown, but facilities denied that they had room for him, so the guy was at home and out of nowhere attacked his father with a knife, then killed himself.

This thread is the first time, EVER, that I heard that someone thinks it's not real.

Conspiracy stories are basically everywhere. Internet is crawling with them. Just like with any other major event. Personally I'm surprised that someone has not at least heard of such theories by now.

 

[JanaDee]

I never, ever heard that this could be a hoax (it decidedly is not, lest someone thinks I believe this drivel). This thread is the first time, EVER, that I heard that someone thinks it's not real. Someone who thinks that is in desperate need of mental health treatment being discussed in this thread. Seriously. I find it appalling that someone can come on here, make wild accusations and then claim the burden is on US to look it up and that it is something "everyone knew". Uh, no. Not biting. If you've got some LEGITIMATE basis for asserting what you did, please point us in the right direction. Otherwise, I'm going to assume that you are speaking without any factual basis whatsoever.

I have heard since a couple days after Sandy Hook people saying it was a hoax and never happened.

 

[pryncess527]

"Claim?" I stated the fact that there are lots of theories and anomalies surrounding the case; something I thought everyone knew by now. If you want to know more, look it up. If you don't, don't. It's no concern of mine either way.

Well, you also seemed to indicate you give some creedence to those theories.

Too much to list, it's easy to look up. Some stuff is as hare-brained as sunshinehighway wrote. Some are indisputable facts that just make you wonder.

So, which indisputable facts make YOU wonder? I can google the theories, but I can't google what makes you wonder, or know what you are referring to when you say that.

I have read numerous sites about the conspiracy theories and have not personally run across a single piece of information that cast any shred of doubt on the events, for me. But perhaps you have read something different. or perhaps your perspective would shine a different light on things.

 

[DebbieB]

I've read that it was a hoax before. Mostly from paranoid people who think that everything has an alterior motive from the government to take away their rights (in this case, their guns).

 

[cabanafrau]

This thread got me thinking, do we know how he got to the school? How far was the school from his home? Was he licensed to drive? Did he walk?

One of the outcomes of our freedoms is the high bar set for involuntary commitment in this country. HIPAA and our privacy laws also probably played a role in obfuscating the actions and foresight of the schools and the medical providers.

Seeing what I do in my job, I strongly suspect the father was in a very difficult position in regard to taking action regarding his son because of many factors, chief among them being mom's apparent opposition to anything that met with any protest from the son. I can see where living with one, possibly two, mentally unstable people left him run down and bewildered -- and no doubt worrying about their other son's wellbeing as well. Particularly given the financial resources in the family I can believe the father would have faced a prolonged legal battle to attempt to force treatment and educational plans that his son would protest and mom would support the son's opposition. Looking at a case like this it causes us to emotionally react to the temptation to say, let's streamline the commitment process. Unfortunately that can create horrible consequences also.

I cannot begin to imagine the heartbreak of these families. I wish them peaceful hearts.

 

[pryncess527]

This thread got me thinking, do we know how he got to the school? How far was the school from his home? Was he licensed to drive? Did he walk?

he did have a license, and drove to the school.

 

[cabanafrau]

he did have a license, and drove to the school.

Thank you. I find that interesting.

My mother has been telling me stories about a dear friend of hers who moved down south to be able to have the assistance of family because of her failing health. One of the unfortunate downsides of the situation has been the complications caused by her grandson who has issues and has managed to manipulate the situation between his parents and seize control of many aspects of their day to day life, leaving everyone miserable. At this point he has manuevered himself into a position where he has none of the responsibilities of adult life and is dictating the routine and lifestyle of his mother and now his grandmother because of her vulnerable status. Driving is the one privilege that has been withheld to this point, rightfully so, and he frequently rages about it.

His parents are ever more fearful of what happens to him when they're gone, as he will never be able to live on his own. Unfortunately dad refuses to accept the diagnoses and real preparations are not being made to establish plans for the future. Thanksgiving was apparently enjoyable because the dad's mother was coming for dinner and therefore dad insisted the son be medicated as recommended by the doctors. Such a heartache for everyone involved.