New Report on Adam Lanza

[Pea-n-Me]

Long, but interesting.

New Report on Lanza: Parental Denials, Breakdowns, Missed Opportunities

 

[SLP958]

So disturbing.

His mother and father really neglected to do their jobs. This boy should have been in a facility.

Too bad his mother is not alive to answer for this.

I wish his father could be held liable.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

So disturbing.

His mother and father really neglected to do their jobs. This boy should have been in a facility.

Too bad his mother is not alive to answer for this.

I wish his father could be held liable.

I hate to blame the parents, but it does seem that the mother in particular was resisting all the recommendations for treatment.

What I find hardest to understand was why, given his issues and his obsession with violence, she would teach him to shoot and give him access to guns.

TP

 

[Tiggeroo]

So disturbing.

His mother and father really neglected to do their jobs. This boy should have been in a facility.

Too bad his mother is not alive to answer for this.

I wish his father could be held liable.

So very sad. Yes his parents neglected to do their jobs. But also it reveals what a disjointed, powerless system our mental health services are. It also shows that schools can not see their roll and responsibility here. In normal circumstances, by high school children often spend more awake time in school then home. Imagine, records not being forwarded to school. No point in time did every department have all of the information in front of them. If dr's were concerned they should have considered a forced hospitalization. We have gone through a period where we became much more concerned about an individual's rights even if they are not taking care of their mental health and it is a risk for others. I understand how this is important. But surely we need to find a balance where rights are protected but innocents are as well. Schools in particular play a roll here because they are able to observe interactions and social weaknesses. Lessons need to be learned in order to prevent this from happening again.
Mental health should be considered equal to physical health. Medical coverage should also reflect that. I have what is considered a very excellent medical plan and yet finding a mental health professional to accept it would be very difficult.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I hate to blame the parents, but it does seem that the mother in particular was resisting all the recommendations for treatment.

What I find hardest to understand was why, given his issues and his obsession with violence, she would teach him to shoot and give him access to guns.

TP

My guess is because she was his mother and although she knew he was disturbed, she was in denial about what he was truly capable of.
Honestly, the report made me angry. In this case I don't hate to blame the parents, especially his mother.

 

[sunshinehighway]

So very sad. Yes his parents neglected to do their jobs. But also it reveals what a disjointed, powerless system our mental health services are. It also shows that schools can not see their roll and responsibility here. In normal circumstances, by high school children often spend more awake time in school then home. Imagine, records not being forwarded to school. No point in time did every department have all of the information in front of them. If dr's were concerned they should have considered a forced hospitalization. We have gone through a period where we became much more concerned about an individual's rights even if they are not taking care of their mental health and it is a risk for others. I understand how this is important. But surely we need to find a balance where rights are protected but innocents are as well. Schools in particular play a roll here because they are able to observe interactions and social weaknesses. Lessons need to be learned in order to prevent this from happening again.
Mental health should be considered equal to physical health. Medical coverage should also reflect that. I have what is considered a very excellent medical plan and yet finding a mental health professional to accept it would be very difficult.

That doesn't seem to apply here. They had money, access to services for him. They chose not to. Not everything is about people not having the access to mental health services. This is more an example of people who didn't want help.

 

[chirurgeon]

If it were a serious physical medical problem, the doctors may very well have gone to court to force treatment. But they won't do that for psychiatric issues. If a parent isn't being responsible in the treatment of their child it is considered child abuse. But not with this. Mental health issues and the attitudes toward them have a VERY far way to come in this nation. As well as the resources for most, even though the Lanzas could afford it.

 

[kirstenb1]

Our younger dd has autism. She's 9, and has been in our school system since she was 3. I am forever grateful to her pediatrician, and her teachers and therapists. Raising a child with autism can be overwhelming, and we parents are in the trenches everyday. We do not get a Christmas Break etc. We unconciously adapt to what our child's current abilities/needs are. It can be hard to be objective when you're in the trenches. We need a really strong consistent support group at school. Thank goodness our daughter has received that.

There seem to be so many missed opportunities to help Adam Lanza. No one says I want to grow up and be a serial killer.

There needs to be an equal partnership between the schools/social services and the parents.

 

[DebbieB]

My guess is because she was his mother and although she knew he was disturbed, she was in denial about what he was truly capable of.
Honestly, the report made me angry. In this case I don't hate to blame the parents, especially his mother.

I agree, there were a lot of signs and something should have been done. I feel so sorry for the families of those killed.

I can't believe this has been almost 2 years. I remember that day, I was at a Christmas luncheon for work at a restaurant. I checked my phone after lunch and saw the breaking news that 20 grade school children were killed. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to bring others down at the party but I just wanted to run out.

 

[bdcp]

Hindsight is always 20/20. There are plenty of people who have the same/similar issues who never do anything. I have real issues with all the "should have" comments when the reality is, no one can know who will do anything, regardless of their diagnosis. What happened was terrible and the mother should have made sure he got help, but no one could have predicted what happened.

 

[DebbieB]

Hindsight is always 20/20. There are plenty of people who have the same/similar issues who never do anything. I have real issues with all the "should have" comments when the reality is, no one can know who will do anything, regardless of their diagnosis. What happened was terrible and the mother should have made sure he got help, but no one could have predicted what happened.

That's true, hindsight is always 20/20. Scary part is who knows how many more like him are out there. Look at the teens recently killed in Washington.

 

[Callie]

It appears his father did make attempts but mom resisted them.

 

[tcufrog]

I just don't understand his moms' attitude. Before we were able to get my older son help for his Aspergers, ADHD and sensory issues he was out of control. Even though he was only 2 1/2 I was at times afraid of him. When he was angry he would sometimes rush at me out of control with a rabid, animal look in his eyes. It's amazing how much early intervention has helped. My son is now a smart, funny, sweet and friendly who literally won't hurt a fly. If a beetle gets stuck in our house he will carefully catch it and let it free in in the grass.

I don't know if Adam Lanza would have had such a dramatic turn around but he was never given a chance since his parents never got him the help he needed. Sometimes I wonder how my son would be if we hadn't gotten him help at a young age but I'm glad I don't have to find out.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I just don't understand his moms' attitude. Before we were able to get my older son help for his Aspergers, ADHD and sensory issues he was out of control. Even though he was only 2 1/2 I was at times afraid of him. When he was angry he would sometimes rush at me out of control with a rabid, animal look in his eyes. It's amazing how much early intervention has helped. My son is now a smart, funny, sweet and friendly who literally won't hurt a fly. If a beetle gets stuck in our house he will carefully catch it and let it free in in the grass.

I don't know if Adam Lanza would have had such a dramatic turn around but he was never given a chance since his parents never got him the help he needed. Sometimes I wonder how my son would be if we hadn't gotten him help at a young age but I'm glad I don't have to find out.

Maybe "mom" had a touch of mental illness herself? Seriously, you have to wonder.

 

[sunshinehighway]

That's true, hindsight is always 20/20. Scary part is who knows how many more like him are out there. Look at the teens recently killed in Washington.

I don't know. From reading that report, it appears there were practically big flashing light and a sign with him.
Perhaps someone should be looking into those people he interacted with on the internet. There was something about a site for people obsessed with mass murders.

 

[BlovesC]

Maybe "mom" had a touch of mental illness herself? Seriously, you have to wonder.

Absolutely she did. That's the biggest takeaway from this report, for me. The way they describe her very strongly suggests some sort of personality disorder and/or psychosomatic disorder. The fact that she supposedly lied about having a terminal illness, repeatedly refused psychiatric interventions, triangulated her son into her marriage, and depended on him to be her 'counselor' are just such huge red flags. This just makes the story that much more tragic, and really underlines how important it is to publicly and socially promote mental health treatment. There are such strong genetic and environmental factors involved in mental illness, one person getting help can truly affect the rest of their family for generations to come.

 

[hoosll]

Absolutely she did. That's the biggest takeaway from this report, for me. The way they describe her very strongly suggests some sort of personality disorder and/or psychosomatic disorder. The fact that she supposedly lied about having a terminal illness, repeatedly refused psychiatric interventions, triangulated her son into her marriage, and depended on him to be her 'counselor' are just such huge red flags. This just makes the story that much more tragic, and really underlines how important it is to publicly and socially promote mental health treatment. There are such strong genetic and environmental factors involved in mental illness, one person getting help can truly affect the rest of their family for generations to come.

This also struck me in the report.
My sister has been in denial and protective mode of her son who is autistic and has mild cerebral palsy for 27 years ... that by treating him as "normal" he would miraculously become normal ... even Pinocchio needed help from the Blue Fairy. Then my brother became ill with alcohol-related brain damage and again she was obsessed that he would heal if she just loved him enough.

It is like being stuck in the stage of grief: denial where through "magical thinking" you can will your loved one back.

 

[RitaE]

Maybe "mom" had a touch of mental illness herself? Seriously, you have to wonder.

I read through most of the report.

I'm not sure if Mrs Lanza had a mental illness or not. I think she did become so isolated and convoluted in her desire to try and protect Adam Lanza that she became very dysfunctional and wrong in her behaviors.

Really at some point in time, whether it was forced by the school, the doctors, her ex-husband, or another family member - somebody needed to step into that situation and insist Adam remain under close medical care and probably Mrs Lanza also receive support because I think she became so micro-focused on trying to care for Adam, that she lost all sense of perspective on what actually was best for Adam.

The two of them together seemed to just isolate themselves and spiral into a catastrophic result. In many ways not only was Mrs Lanza enabling her son's dysfunction, he was also enabling hers to the point where they both lost any sense of normality. Not just in mental health and behavior - at the time of the incident Adam was quite physically deteriorated and ill. His physical condition was drastic enough that he met the definition of anorexic.

It is hard to feel sorry for him because of the way he came to all of our attention. But still as the report says, he was not psychotic or mentally altered in that he thought he needed to get his guns out and fight Satan or the Space aliens.

The whole event just seems so preventable. I feel angry at … just everybody around including his Father, Mother, Doctors, the school District....

 

[OurBigTrip]

So disturbing.

His mother and father really neglected to do their jobs. This boy should have been in a facility.

Too bad his mother is not alive to answer for this.

I wish his father could be held liable.

He refused to have contact with his father. All issues with him not receiving proper treatment go back to his mother.

I see no blame whatsoever for the father in this.

 

[Laura66]

I'm not going to pass judgement on the parents as I can't magine what it must have been like to live day in and day out - every day with a mentally ill son. They could have done more and I bet he still would have snapped - we will never know.
The exhaustion, the stress, the isolation, the depression of dealing with this - not to mention the financial cost. I mean really - unless they had him commited - and who would authorize or pay for that - you can't guarantee that any of that would have prevented the final outcome.