Both of my kids are very picky and my 11 year old has Asperger's. One of his issues is food textures and I was also worried about being on the
DDP with him.
My best advice is to do your research. Read the kid's menus and decide where your family would be most comfortable and only book those restaurants.
I agree, absolutely! If you can view the menus ahead of time, it makes it much easier to plan your meals, especially the CS restaurants. We have made 4 visits with our extremely picky autistic son and WDW has always been able to accommodate him. It does help to have a favorite snack in your bag, "just in case". (For us, it is a bag of plain goldfish crackers.)
We used the dining plan for the first time this past November. You can't think of it as a money-saving thing for picky children...any $$ saved was from the adult dinners at the TS restaurants, not from the chicken fingers/pizza/ fries that they seem to live on!!!
If your child has a true sensitivity or allergy, have the reservationist note it on your ADR for TS and Buffet meals and the chef will come to your table to discuss options with you. We met several extremely nice chefs this way and they are really great about making special requests.
As mentioned above, we too have an issue with seasoning on the fries. If you explain to the wait person that it is a problem for your child, they will bring out plain fries, no problem.
We booked the Hoop De Doo Review at FW and we pre-ordered chicken fingers and fries for our son when we made the ADR, as well as a gluten-free meal for another member of our party.
As far as being polite when making your requests, well, it goes without saying that you always catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!!
Have a great trip!
Kathy