New Dads, New Family

[dakotix]

Hi!

My husband and I have been going through the adoption process for about a year. We've finally found a child who is a "match" for us. He's 2 1/2 years old. So far as we can tell he doesn't have any serious issues other than that of being in foster care for a year. His favorite character is Mickey!

We're planning a trip for next year to Disney World. My husband and I have been many many times as a couple. Our son will be about 3 1/2 at that point and I am wondering what to expect at Disney with a child so young. I know it'll be great fun but just not sure how long we should go for and what kinds of activities are realistic for a boy of that age. I'm sure by the time we go I'll probably be able to answer these questions on my own but just curious what others' experiences have been.

Thanks!

 

[Mousemommy1]

Congrats on the adoption!!!

We always do trips between 8-10 nights, even when the kids are younger. We have a 12, 10 and 2 year old and we will be going for 9 nights this year. We enjoy the longer trips because we don't feel like we have to smash everything into every minute. We very much enjoy our downtime.

I think traveling with a toddler, it's important to have a plan...and a backup plan...and then the ability to go with the flow on top of that, LOL. Toddlers can be very unpredictable!!!

 

[katyjeka]

Congrats on your new addition, what a blessing. We've taken many trips with our girls at that age and each one liked different things. I used to be a planner, down to the hour, no kidding!! I had spreadsheets, planners, index cards and never left the room without them. Our girls taught me to "hang up" my planner and I've been without for several years. They like to walk slow and stop for every little thing. It's funny I didn't notice some of the details until they made me stop and look. I wouldn't worry about a lot of activities at that age. He will be so excited and will find joy in whatever your doing at the moment. Enjoy.

 

[Vijoge]

Congrats on the adoption!!!

We always do trips between 8-10 nights, even when the kids are younger. We have a 12, 10 and 2 year old and we will be going for 9 nights this year. We enjoy the longer trips because we don't feel like we have to smash everything into every minute. We very much enjoy our downtime.

I think traveling with a toddler, it's important to have a plan...and a backup plan...and then the ability to go with the flow on top of that, LOL. Toddlers can be very unpredictable!!!

We took our granddaughter when she was 3. I remember we spent a lot of time in the bathrooms, not because she needed to go but because she had to check out each one, many times. Her favorite rides were the barnstormer and the elevator at BLT. As were were waiting for the monorail to return to the resort to catch the ME bus to the airport she suddenly remembered she hadn't gotten her face painted in ToonTown so DH popped her up on his shoulders and sprinted through the Magic Kingdom to the face painting booth only to have her melt down on the ME bus because she didn't want to leave WDW, as her freshly painted face melted in her tears.

 

[dakotix]

Thanks for the replies. Knowing that a long trip is possibly better than a short trip is nice to hear. We're not opposed to a short trip -- we've done it before -- but you are definitely trying to fit everything into a short period of time which is fine if you're an adult and know your limits but not so much if you're young. Can't wait to see his face when he meets Mickey!

 

[Camshell]

Congrats on becoming a family! I wish you all the best

We adopted an almost 4 year old and took her to Disneyland almost 1 year later close to her 5th birthday. As you probably have already learned in your process your little one could easily have developmental trauma associated with his transitions. It's good you are giving yourselves a year to learn about each other and bond before attempting an over-stimulating trip. Given his age (I had a bio-kid at that age) and his history, I would not set too many expectations for the trip. Focus on bonding moments with him and watch for any overstimulation (which can lead you down the road to tantrums). I think a long trip is fine, especially if you build in relaxing together time, like swimming in the pool or playing with toys in your hotel room.

I think the hardest thing for kids to do once they start walking until they are school age can be eating at a table service restaurant. If you are planning on doing those I would definitely see how he is at that sort of thing in your hometown before you book reservations (or be prepared to cancel if that just doesn't work for him). Sometimes in those situations you end up taking turns entertaining your child while the other parent gobbles food down, and then you need to switch.

Good luck and have fun parenting!

 

[dakotix]

Congrats on becoming a family! I wish you all the best

We adopted an almost 4 year old and took her to Disneyland almost 1 year later close to her 5th birthday. As you probably have already learned in your process your little one could easily have developmental trauma associated with his transitions. It's good you are giving yourselves a year to learn about each other and bond before attempting an over-stimulating trip. Given his age (I had a bio-kid at that age) and his history, I would not set too many expectations for the trip. Focus on bonding moments with him and watch for any overstimulation (which can lead you down the road to tantrums). I think a long trip is fine, especially if you build in relaxing together time, like swimming in the pool or playing with toys in your hotel room.

I think the hardest thing for kids to do once they start walking until they are school age can be eating at a table service restaurant. If you are planning on doing those I would definitely see how he is at that sort of thing in your hometown before you book reservations (or be prepared to cancel if that just doesn't work for him). Sometimes in those situations you end up taking turns entertaining your child while the other parent gobbles food down, and then you need to switch.

Good luck and have fun parenting!

Thanks for chiming in. Yes you are absolutely correct. We're very mindful of issues related to past trauma and how that will effect our plans. Bonding and creating a safe and loving home is our number 1 goal.

 

[wilkeliza]

First off congratulations and also thanks for opening your hearts and home to an older kiddo!

One big advice I can give is to try and try and try again to get him to nap in a stroller if he doesn't do that yet. It will help so much. One of my nieces was never "forced" to do it so never got comfortable doing it and so when she is tired she gets really mean and then you have to leave the park for her to nap. My nephews all have napped in their strollers so it is much easier. You just lay them back in the stroller, grab an ice cream or rider swap a ride or two and then when he wakes up go back to bonding and enjoying the park. So much easier then having to leave mid day. If he won't nap in the stroller then plan to get in front of it. Rope drop then head back to the resort. Eat lunch in the resort room, chill, nap and then head back out.

Another big advice I give that will be even more important for you is to try and not take any of his comfort items unless you have a back up. Perhaps come up with a travel buddy or something that isn't as meaningful to him as say a favorite blanket, stuffed animal, or whatever. Little ones get attached so easily and things get lost just as easily at WDW and knowing he is from foster care and adopted I would hate for your trip to go south because his favorite stuffed animal accidentally went to Disney's washing machines to never been seen again. Perhaps since you are a big Disney fan you could even make a tradition of letting him pick a new stuffed animal or blanket from the gift shop the first night. I only give the advice because as a CM I met many of bummed out little ones because their comfort item went missing on vacation.

 

[Sleepy425]

No advice about the parks, because you will find a way to make it work for you. Just wanted to say CONGRATS! We are foster parents, and adopted our daughters a few months ago (3 weeks when they came to us, almost 3 years when they were adopted).
I hope you have a smooth transition, and that things go well for you both. Even though my girls were so young when they came to us, there are still so many issues from things that happened during their pregnancy that make life very difficult - the older they get, the more these issues are surfacing. Surround yourself with other foster/adopt parents who understand what your child may have gone through - because the "real world" often has no clue and just doesn't understand.
I hope he is home with you and your husband soon!

 

[Kerriowl]

Congrats! I took my 2 sons for the first time when they were 5 and almost 3 (he turned 3 the day we left). We rented a double stroller from Orlando Stroller rental which helped A LOT! We did a 7 day trip with visits to the theme parks every day. Most days we left for a nap break, but a couple of days we did stroller naps in the park. The biggest thing to think about is your little guys tolerance for go go go and the crowds. Mine love to go all day long and so Disney was great for them. Other kids may need a day off from the crowds and the parks. Make a plan, but be ready to throw it out the window if things aren't going well.

 

[DizneyLizzy]

Congratulations! What a wonderful thing to be doing.

I'm taking my own son next year when he will also be 3 1/2. It's a fun age - I remember taking my youngest sibling at that age.

My son loves characters, so we've taken him to a bunch of character meals in his 3 years of life. His first trip he had just turned 1 and we didn't know how he'd react to characters, so we booked the meal for the end of our stay after he'd been to a couple meet and greets. Had he been terrified of the characters we could have canceled.

If your son loves Mickey, the breakfast at Ohana or a meal at the Garden Grill is a good low key character meal for a young kid. My husbands favorite character meal is Ohana. He likes the family style serving and the views from the windows.

Have a great trip!

 

[Surgie]

Congratulations! I think it's great advice to stay as long as you can and buy park passes equal to the number of days you are staying. This increases your days for FP reservations making a more relaxed trip. If your budget allows I'd stay at the Contemporary or the Poly for super convenience to MK. I'd plan a really low key first morning at the MK...no scary rides, no coasters, nothing where you could get wet. Stick to classics like Dumbo, It's a Small World, Mickey meet and greet. Have fun planning!

 

[TravelingTotMom]

Congratulations!

My son is almost three, and we go semi-frequently (AP holders a couple hours away). My main planning strategy is to make our 3 FP+ for rides I know he likes and then have a general, but flexible, game plan so we aren't constantly criss-crossing the park. Flexibility is the key, as kids that age constantly change their minds. Maybe watch some of the ride videos on YouTube ahead of time to see what he is interested in? That could take away any possible anxiety and help you pick your FP+ (and if he changes his mind at the last minute, then you can always swap your FP+ through the app). Waiting in lines is also tough, so we try to avoid any that are longer than 20 minutes. The carrousel, Philarmagic, etc. are great during peak hours. We also try to avoid shows, as they are hard for him to sit through (and we are going through a phase where fireworks are too loud, so we leave the parks before then... there will be phases.).

If you want to do a character meal, consider planning it later in the trip. That way, if he doesn't end up loving the characters, than you can cancel it before the cancellation fee deadline. Garden Grill is a nice character meal option b/c it is more relaxed than the others, and they bring the food to your table instead of trying to juggle everyone/everything with a buffet. And see what his nap schedule ends up being if he is still taking naps. Breakfast and lunch table service meals work best with our son. Dinner, not so much. Too unpredictable with nap/tiredness.

Also, are you planning on staying at an onsite resort? If so, don't overlook activities there for bonding time. Half the time my son would rather swim in the pool or play in the splash pad than go to the parks, and the highlight of a recent trip for him was roasting marshmallows at the resort's nightly campfire.

Another big thing I learned was make sure there's time to run around and play (vs. spending the day in a stroller and in lines). MK has Tom Sawyer Island, a playground under the railroad station by Splash Mountain and an indoor playground at Dumbo. Epcot has the most - play areas after Journey into Imagination and Mission SPACE (enter through the exit), the aquariums after the Seas with Nemo, the hedge maze in the UK pavilion, the actual cars after Test Track, etc. They also have Kidcot stations where he can color at all of the World Showcase pavilions and the miniature trains in Germany. AK has the Boneyard playground, which is awesome, and my son loves taking the train to Rafiki's Planet Watch, where you can brush the goats at the Affection Section. DHS is tough... there's characters and the Disney Jr. Live on Stage, but we can't spend an entire day in that park with him at this age. Next trip we are only going there for lunch at Sci-Fi (his request) and then hopping to another park.

 

[Surgie]

TravelingtotMom, thanks for all the playground info. Very helpful!

 

[dakotix]

Thanks for all the great advice and tips! This thread will definitely be helpful.