New Chapter in Life....

[Tyme4wdw]

My husband and I are currently separated and starting divorce proceedings. It's been rough, emotional rollercoaster, dealing with his affairs and life as I knew it falling apart. The house has been so peaceful and quiet since he has moved out. The children (20, 18 and 14) and I are all doing well, becoming stronger and healthier as each day goes by.

My 20 year old along with my 3 year old grandson will be moving with her husband (just married and military) as soon as he receives his first duty station orders coming up in March. My 18 year old will start college in the fall and my 14 year old is a freshman in high school. It has been a life long dream of mine to live in the Orlando area. My brother, a couple of cousins and a few friends all live in the area so I wouldn't be totally alone if I decide to move. The kicker...I have worked for a local university for the last 10 1/2 years. My 18 year old daughter would receive free tuition should I stay in this area and continue to work at the university. She is not 100% sure she wants to go to the university I work for as they do not offer the degree she's really interested in.

Now, do I stay here in our area while daughter decides whether she wants to go to the local university or do I uproot and start a new chapter of my life in Orlando??? I'll be turning 44 next month. I really don't want to wait too much longer to start my life over, but am also feeling guilty for leaving a place where my daughter could take advantage of free tuition.

What to do? What to do? What would you do?

 

[MomiTo2SwtGuys]

I don't have any really good advice, but I wanted to give you hugs. Hope things get better for you!

 

[Tyme4wdw]

Thank you for the hugs! They are definitely appreciated! I use to be known on the disboards as Maria with Mickey ears after my name, but am on a laptop and can not make mickey ears on here so had to re-register.

 

[mana]

Hi I've been gone from the disboards for a while and this was one of the first posts I read. I say, go start a new chapter. Even though I am closer to your daughter's age (still in college myself) I say go for it because if the college does not have your daughter's major, chances are she will not be happy there even if she settles for another one. Your major really decides the kind of classes you will take for the time at college, and if she knows what she wants to do already she should go to a college that offers it. If money is the issue she can take out loans or get financial aid. She is going to be an adult.

You need to learn to live for you!!! When you are a mother you give up so much of your time, effort, etc. Now that your kids are pretty grown, start taking that time and effort back for yourself. You've raised three beautiful children, so you are definitely worth the it!

Good luck!

 

[Deesknee]

Perhaps it would be possible for you to find a job with a university in the Orlando area. Perhaps one your daughter might be interested in attending. I believe most colleges give free tuition to employees and their children. Also, you may want to investigate if it is free tuition only, or does it also include fees, room & board, etc. I know in MA tuition in the state universities is a very small amount of the actual college bill.

I have no opinion on if you should relocate or not. My only advise is to look at all the options you can possibly think of, write them down, then decide. Whatever you decide, I wish you well & my prayers are with you and your family. Best of luck.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I am not sure what to say here... if you take advantage of the free tuition would that mean you would have to be there for the next 4 years while she works on her degree because if that is the case, would you be miserable staying there for that length of time..

I would relocate if that is what would make you happiest, but then part of me, the part that remembers how expensive college education can be, would want to revisit that free tuition advantage.. Would you as a single parent be able to help her getting financial aid at another college?? And does she even want to go to this college where she would get the free tuition, that is a question that really needs to be answered first. If she has no interest, then I would relocate where I could be near my family.. JMO

 

[lucigo]

I was in a situation similar but different from yours about 10 years ago...we had moved here (Florida panhandle) for my husband's job. He died and I had to decide if I would go "home" to MO (a college town even) or stay in Florida so that my kids could qualify one day for Florida's bright futures scholarships and go to college free.

I stayed, and I have 2 kids on bright futures now and on in high school (virtual school). I also have a new husband and a 6yo LOL Life happens. Now we are in the process of moving to Orlando and after being here for 10 years its making me completely sick to have to leave my friends and probably at least one of my kids who wants to finish school at the Univ. here.

If you are sure you want to move then do it before your new life happens for you where you are. Will your daughter qualify for grants? You could live close to UCF and she could live at home and go to college in Orlando. If she isn't sure what she wants to do I would encourage her to start at a jr. college.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[AntePrincess]

Depends on many factors. If real estate is cheap where you're looking, that free tuition might not be as important. That the local place with free tuition might not carry her major is almost irrelevant: almost everyone changes their major, the majority more than once. Take two or even three years at the free place and transfer to a better school to graduate, get your prereqs taken care of on a budget. I'll be returning to school, and that's the plan, on advice from several university deans in our social circle.

 

[dzy76]

My husband and I are currently separated and starting divorce proceedings. It's been rough, emotional rollercoaster, dealing with his affairs and life as I knew it falling apart. The house has been so peaceful and quiet since he has moved out. The children (20, 18 and 14) and I are all doing well, becoming stronger and healthier as each day goes by.

My 20 year old along with my 3 year old grandson will be moving with her husband (just married and military) as soon as he receives his first duty station orders coming up in March. My 18 year old will start college in the fall and my 14 year old is a freshman in high school. It has been a life long dream of mine to live in the Orlando area. My brother, a couple of cousins and a few friends all live in the area so I wouldn't be totally alone if I decide to move. The kicker...I have worked for a local university for the last 10 1/2 years. My 18 year old daughter would receive free tuition should I stay in this area and continue to work at the university. She is not 100% sure she wants to go to the university I work for as they do not offer the degree she's really interested in.

Now, do I stay here in our area while daughter decides whether she wants to go to the local university or do I uproot and start a new chapter of my life in Orlando??? I'll be turning 44 next month. I really don't want to wait too much longer to start my life over, but am also feeling guilty for leaving a place where my daughter could take advantage of free tuition.

What to do? What to do? What would you do?

Hi - I came across your message and it hit home. I am currently getting divorced after 32 years of marriage. I have three grown sons and a new granddaughter that I'm so thankful for. He cheated on me, also. Broke my heart. I want to move to Orlando also. I am a nurse, and am hopeful that in less than 5 years I will be able to move there.

How did it all turn out for you? I hope you made it, as much as I got your worry about the tuition cost, I hope you did what you wanted to do for yourself, first. I believe if we don't, we end up in a bad place. I should have lived that way, if I had, I don't think I would have stayed long enough to be hurt like I was by my ex.

Just hope your happy and life is treating you well.

dzy76
from Oregon

 

[danny1649]

You do what you feel the most conformable with. You will still have some folks you know for support if you stay.I think you are doing a smart thing by involving family and getting advice here where some have had the same experience .