nervous about trip with anxious/fearful toddler

[olafgypsy]

My sis was recently accepted into the Disney college program (go her!) and my entire immediate family will be taking our first ever WHOLE family trip to the world in early Dec 2014 to visit while she's there. This includes my parents, four siblings, various husbands, a nephew, and the subject of this thread, my now one year old EXTREMELY anxious/sensitive ds.

He gets hysterical at loud or unfamiliar noises. Wind-up mechanical toys freak him out big time. Major stranger anxiety. Basically, he hates change and anything unfamiliar, noisy, too bright, too big, or that seems to defy the laws of physics. I know he will be a good deal older in December, but he's been this way since birth and I am pretty sure that this is an inherent personality thing.

So, any tips from families who have dealt with this personality type at Disney before? Anything to steer clear of? Restaurants that are quieter than others? On the other hand, is there ANYTHING he might enjoy? He loves the swings at the park, so maybe he'll like some kiddie rides....

 

[Maggie'sMom]

My DD was like this on our trip when she was 3.5. She freaked at the Festival of the Lion King show, Finding Nemo show, even the Playhouse Disney show (now the Disney Junior show). She absolutely hated the characters, even though she had done fine with them when we made a one day trip to the MK a year earlier. She did okay on most rides though, but the "biggest" ride we went on was Goofy's Barnstormer.

DD has sensory processing disorder. Noise is what she reacts most negatively to. I purchased the Peltor Kids earmuffs for her and it really helped on later trips. Amazon carries them at a decent price.

Keep an eye on his behavior. If he continues to be so sensitive to sounds as he gets older, you might want to have him evaluated for sensory processing difficulties. Your local school district will be able to help you with this once he is 3.

 

[olafgypsy]

Great tip about the earmuffs. Will definitely look into that for him! I think it would help a lot.

And yeah, I'm beginning to worry a little bit about the sensitivity issues. He's got a well child check-up coming up and I'm planning to ask the doc, but I suspect that at this young age it's hard to separate out normal anxious baby from other stuff. Still, no harm in asking.

 

[BubblyTrip]

I'd rent / bring a stroller with a great shade (like the Citi Mini) so he can tune out as needed. Watch some Youtube videos that show crowds / people traffic, easy rides. Probably plan to skip parades. I have heard many people mention earmuffs for their sensitive kids, as the PP mentioned. And whatever you can do to stick to your regular routine might help, like having familiar snacks, sticking to his normal clothes.

I'm sure you already prep him for changes in activities verbally (like telling him what the day will entail, giving him verbal warnings of what and when the next activity will be, "In ten minutes we are going to leave our hotel and get on a bus.")

And like you said, he will be older and have more life experience by then, even if he is still very sensitive.

 

[Happyjen27]

In addition to the stroller with a great shade, I would also add some mosquito netting or something that would allow him to block out everything if he wants to. And absolutely ear muffs.

Also, scope out quiet places in each park when he's struggling. I'm sure other DISers know of good, quiet places he can decompress.

As for restaurants, are you wanting to eat in the parks? Places to book for your whole entire family to break bread? I would definitely count on quite a few meals in your room, like take out from your resort's restaurant so your boy can eat crowd free.

For my kids, and from what I've read here some other kids too, 4 hours seems to be a magic number of hours some kids can spend in the parks before the overstimulation really gets to them. My pair doesn't watch a lot of TV, and we don't have a lot of loud, computerized toys. I planned my first trip when my pair was 5 with a max of 4 hours at a time in a park, and it worked like a charm. The one time I pushed it to 5, I was rewarded with meltdowns at the AK bus stop and crying/whining and general poor behavior. So, keep that in mind when planning your park days.

 

[GoldieLocks5]

if you don't have them already - get some noise reducing ear muffs - we have them for our younger sons and it saves the day for loud rides and fireworks. My son uses them at home when we have thunderstorms - love them (amazon.com sells them - basically what you use in a firing range)

 

[MSSANDRA]

I do encourage you to seek some professional advice. IF there are any true issues, the earlier they are caught, the better. Trust your mother instincts. As far as the parks, they can be very over stimulating. I would suggest that you try wearing your toddler. Try out some different carriers and see what you might like. Good anytime you are out in public, great somewhere like WDW. There are tons of things that are loud and big and busy at WDW, but there are also lots of places you can escape for a bit too.

 

[MandiC]

I haven't yet, but our youngest is very much like that. I'd suggest showing him lots of pictures of characters with kids before the trip, watch some of the shows/movies, and talk to him a LOT about the trip before you go

 

[cruisingtwins]

Both my kids are kike that especially my son. We went when they were 19 months. I would stay clear of character meals. My in-laws planned the trip and booked a million characters meals and they did not go well. For my kids I will probably only do counter service for a while even with reservations there was a lot of waiting and the restaurants are super crowded and loud.

My kids loved the dumbo play area and the carrousel. They also liked to watch the characters from far away.

We rented a double stroller and even though they were used to being in strollers at home we had to carry them all the time because they were scared. Our baby carriers were life savers.

 

[Manders77]

Great tip about the earmuffs. Will definitely look into that for him! I think it would help a lot.

And yeah, I'm beginning to worry a little bit about the sensitivity issues. He's got a well child check-up coming up and I'm planning to ask the doc, but I suspect that at this young age it's hard to separate out normal anxious baby from other stuff. Still, no harm in asking.

Not sure what state you live in, but many states (counties) offer an early intervention type of program for kids under 3. It costs nothing to get them evaluated( but the application process can take months). I would suggest looking into it, especially if your son is extremely sensitive in the sensory area.

As far as Disney World goes, just follow his lead and show him videos (if he can handle it) of different Disney experiences. We found that worked with DS (he's got developmental delays). Also DS had a clockwork schedule, so we stuck to it. He always napped between 12-1 so we tried to eat 11-12 and go back to resort so he could nap, and we let him wake up when he woke up which was usually 2-3 hrs later. I always made ADR's at 6:30 so I knew he'd be up but we eat that late at home so it was no different. DS was never scared of characters, but it helped when we lived in Orlando and visited WDW often so both my kids interacted with characters since 3 months old. Good Luck!

 

[olafgypsy]

Thanks for all these great suggestions. To be honest, four hours in a theme park is MY max before I'm overstimulated, so I wouldn't dream of asking a toddler to do more than that! My whole family is definitely behind the idea of short park sessions in the morning and evening and LONG mid day breaks. My nephew will hav just turned four so we don't want to push it with either of these little ones.

As for wearing a toddler at that age . . . aren't they too heavy? Total noob to baby wearing here

 

[nadira36]

Yes to the above suggestions.

Also make note of what your LO does to unwind/destress at home. Make note of what happens BEFORE a meltdown.

Our girls needed to have free play time - so roughly 3 times a day we'd stop at a splash pad or playground where ever we were and just take a break. Most of the time the playgrounds are calm enough that it's almost like you're not at Disney (except for the awesome themed playground).

The bone yard - in the dig site was a must. Shade, calm, quiet, and sand. calmed everyone down immensely.

It may be tough with lots of people around - but follow his lead - if he wants to ride buzz 5 times in a row - do it. It'll make the rest easier - and if it turns out only that ride is okay for him - then he still got a great trip out of it.

At home we watch shows about the park - ride-throughs on youtube. sorcerer radio (iTunes app) has the music, Disneyland fun (sing along songs video).

We read books about what to expect (flying, traveling etc) we didn't talk about how it related to us until about 2 weeks before our trip - then we mentioned it briefly that we'd take a trip one day. That opened the door to questions. As we talked the idea became more appealing and the trip was a breeze.

But also please note - a sensitive 1 yr old could be a bold 15 month old.

Oh and I still wear my 40 lbs 3 yr old on occasion. It depends on the size of your child, but in FL we found that up to about 30lbs was okay for wearing the kiddo.

Of course if your child isn't used to it, then it may not be what you hoped it to be. We wear our kiddos all the time - so it's a very safe secure spot for them if they need down time.

That being said, ours also loved the buggy and just pulling the canopy all the way over.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Good suggestions on here. As an extension to the familiarization techniques already mentioned (like watching videos), you may want to try that with characters as well using stuffed animals. Get him a stuffed Tigger, Dumbo, Pooh, whatevs. Then, when you play with these smaller, "safe", stuffed versions, use lots of positive association. "This is Little Dumbo -- at Disney World we'll get to see his friend Big Dumbo. Little Tigger's friend lives at Disney World -- Big Tigger is just like Little Tigger, but bigger!" This will (hopefully) help him create positive associations between the toys he's comfortable with and the bigger versions he will run into in the parks, whether that's a costume character or a ride. This way he'll have lots of time to get used to the idea of these bigger "friend" versions existing, as well as learning to associate them with something that's already safe in his mind. That way when you get to something like the Dumbo ride you can say "Look, there's Big Dumbo! We've been waiting a long time to meet him, haven't we?" Obviously, you aren't going to push it if he's still scared, but it may help. Good luck!

Oh yeah, avoid the Rainforest Cafe like the plague.

 

[msmama]

First the babywearing question - YES, if you're not used to baby wearing, he will be heavy. So start training now. It'll be easier regarding EVERYTHING if he's that sensitive!

My son was like yours, but wearing him, just being close to mom, helped HUGELY with the anxiety.

I also second the Citi mini stroller with the awesome shade! Frankly, my upcoming Disneyland trip will be the first without it and I'm TERRIFIED of him not having that safety net (he's almost 6).

At 10 months, my son fell asleep on most rides. I think that was kind of his coping mechanism for the unknown. He was slightly better at 2, was much bolder, but still sat on my lap and closed his eyes for many things.

Like I said, he's 6 now and still VERY wary about rides and such. We don't do roller coasters, but I prefer to look on the bright side and think about how I don't have to go about messing with Fast passes!!

 

[msmama]

Oh, wanted to add, my son ADORES the gift shops at Disney.

Seriously, the question I get asked the most is "when do we get to the next gift shop?" Luckily it's Disney so there's always one right around the corner.

He's not a buyer or asker though, he just likes to browse.

All that to say, there is plenty of entertainment for a child of any temperament if grown-ups are willing to look for it!!

 

[smiths02]

I still regularly wear my 18 month old twins (not at the same time). They each weigh less than 23 lbs though, I just have small babies.

We do back carry with the Ergo. This is the only way I can grocery shop with both (one in the cart, one in the Ergo). They both love it.

I think I stopped wearing my older son once he had the stamina to walk a lot himself and once I could direct him. My daughter who won't let me hold her hand or put a "leash" on her (that was a nightmare) will gladly let me wear her. Go figure!

Other than that, show the baby lots of Disney stuff. One of my twins first words was "Tigger" lol So if it is familar, even if it is overwhelming, your child might not meltdown (I think if my twins saw Tigger at a character meal, they would be so enchanted that there would not be a meltdown...now, they might not want Tigger to hold them, but it wouldn't be a disaster).

I agree with avoiding the pre-priced/set price meals (well, maybe try one character meal if everyone else is). Otherwise, I would personally just see how the kid reacts and be prepared to leave the restaurant (while the rest of the family enjoys the meal). My DS who is still a very anxious child liked Sci Fi and T-Rex at 3 years old (both of which get knocked as loud, dark, scary things)--he also LOVED characters, so go figure [If the dark scares him, consider glow necklace type stuff, obviously you would have to watch it for a choking hazard, but it alleviated fears for my son and the darker restaurants and rides are actually less sensory overload]

And I will agree with others....food and water are big (and your kiddo might need more than usual of both at Disney), sleep and routine are also big.

I would probably avoid parades and fireworks. Fireworks were also a little jarring for my older son (who like I said is anxious); also, we were generally in bed by firework time anyhow. Parades can be difficult to maneuver in and out of, get very crowded, etc.

 

[smiths02]

I wanted to add about babywearing. If you do any, I highly recommend having the baby/toddler face towards your body. There are physical reasons for this (hip problems, etc.), weight of an older baby will probably mean a back carry anyhow, so it would be a moot point. If the baby faces towards you in something good like an Ergo, then the baby can "shut out" the outside world. If the baby is front facing, there is nowhere to turn when s/he gets overloaded. The back carry is great for us because DD or DS can look around and be apart of everything of just cuddle up and zone out