Neighbors!!

[mickey&minnie04]

I'll start by saying that I live in a 100 year old twin home that I just love! When we first moved in our neighbors were wonderful (loved them!) unfortunately they fell on hard times and their house went into foreclosure. Enter our new neighbor, since day one she has come in and acted like she owns the whole neighboorhood. She wanted to remove the existing fence ( it needed it ) it was put their by the previous owners. She asked us to pay for half of it, but she had already picked it out and we would have no say in it. So we went out that weekend and put up our own 6 foot privacy fence. We have since been able to hear EVERY time she has "relations" (LOL!) She is LOUD!! I have confronted her and told her point blank that we could hear them, she just doesn't care! I have 2 dogs, she has 2 dogs,one of my dogs never barks and one will if someone walks by the house and thats it. Hers barks all the time and she just lets him bark. We were told that the dog has to bark continuosly for 20 minutes for it to be a problem....so if the dogs even stops for 30 seconds the count starts over. Today i go out to get the mail and sitting on the wall that we share are these huge hideous pots with bushes in them. They are on our property, I don't want them there but I don't want her to think that she "owns" everything and she can just do what she wants. I don't want to start any "trouble" we already do not have a neighbor relationship. Any thoughts? Sorry this ended up so long!

 

[AKL_Megs]

I think, the more trouble you start, the bigger attitude you give her, the absolute worse you are making it for yourself.

She has already shown you she is vindictive, and she has already shown you she doesn't care what you think about her.

If you show her that she is bothering you, she is bound to make your life a living hell.

You call the cops on her dogs, they come, they will KNOW it is you... even if you tell the police to keep things annonymous.

I don't know WHAT to tell you about the relations... that's just crazy.

I'd do my best to just ignore her, if it were me, that is.

Or you could always go over there, say you got off on the wrong foot, and try and make friends.

 

[HelenePA]

Start cheering and clapping everytime you hear her Give her a round of applause! LOL!

 

[disney_mommy]

If you are already not too friendly with them, I wouldn't worry about making it any worse at this point.

Have you tried talking to her about the incessantly barking dogs?

As for hearing her "relations," the fact that it didn't start until after the fence issue leads me to believe that she knows exactly what she's doing and is trying to piss you off. I would do my best to ignore it, because there really is nothing you can do to make her stop.

The potted plants - do you like them? If they are hideously ugly and you can't stand them, I would just go over and move them to her side of the property. If they look fine, just leave them. Don't raise a ruckus if they aren't really bothering you.

 

[bettymae1121]

On the other hand, if you let her get away with the potted plants, she may try to get away with other things, just to see how far she can push you. There isn't an easy answer to this...confront her and make things worse, let it go and have her keep pulling stunts until she finds something you won't let go and it's an even bigger blow up.

Since the bushes are on your property, I would err on the side of protecting your rights...if you can back this up with a survey or something else "official" I'd tell her she either needs to relocate them or you'll do it for her. Give her a firm date "You need to move them by this Sunday". Don't leave it open ended, or it will always be some excuse or another.

As for the noises when they have relations, I agree with the poster that said you should loudly applaud and clap. Yes it's juvenille but she's trying to bug you. If she knows she's entertaining you instead, odds are she'll stop (especially if it bugs the person she's relating with).

And the dogss...who "told" you about the 20 minute rule? It could very well be accurate but unless that came from an official source, I'd double check it to be sure. If she's the one that told you that, I'd really check it out!

I feel for you, bad neighbors suck!

 

[mickey&minnie04]

Thanks for all the responses! The fence was done the first week or 2 she moved in......she didn't have a "friend" for "relations" until much later.

I have tried the lets talk, sorry we got off on the wrong foot approach and basically I get the cold shoulder. There are sooo many other incidents, one time she decided to paint her metal awning with a sprayer while it was windy....guess where all the overspray went? The front of my house all over our brand new retaining wall we had just put in and all over our newly planted shrubs. She said it was no big deal and that it would wash right off. If that was the case would she be painting her awnings with them? i don't think so! I really truly LOVE my house and I don't want to move because of that plus I don't want her to think she ran me out of my home. As for the dog barking we were told 20 minutes continuous by the borough that we live in. I love the idea about clapping after "relations" !!! I am always trying to keep my dogs & husband quiet because we do live in a twin home, I worry about being to noisy inside and out ......but he's tired of tiptoeing around as to not offend her when she has no reguard for anyone else.

 

[dis-happy]

Make a recording and play it back to her answering machine.

 

[debknight]

What is a "twin home"?

 

[Halloweenqueen]

Ignore the dogs and sounds. I know how tempting it is to do/say something, but it will only encourage more behavior or make things worse.

She might be your neighbor for the next 20+ years, why make yourself miserable?

I think she is just doing stuff because she is mad over the fence. The dogs are another issue. If it gets bad enough, call animal control.

 

[mickey&minnie04]

What is a "twin home"?

I think some people call them duplexes....they are 2 homes that are connected by garages or even share a main wall.

 

[disney_mommy]

Make a recording and play it back to her answering machine.

That's the best response so far! Much better than mine.

 

[mickey&minnie04]

Ignore the dogs and sounds. I know how tempting it is to do/say something, but it will only encourage more behavior or make things worse.

She might be your neighbor for the next 20+ years, why make yourself miserable?

I think she is just doing stuff because she is mad over the fence. The dogs are another issue. If it gets bad enough, call animal control.

I want to just let it go and ignore everything she does, but I also don't want her to think that she can just walk all over us either! Another thing about the potted plants is that she put them on the adjoining wall that our porches share and every summer( this is her 3rd summer living there so she knows ) I hang a bamboo shade for privacy,the hooks are there but we haven't put it out yet. It is on our side but with these pots there I will not be able to hang it because the pots are in the way. The wall is about 6 inches wide and the pots are about 8 inches wide so they hang over on her side and mine ...technically 3 inches of that wall is hers and 3 is mine. I can't just slide them over so that i can hang my shade because they would fall.

 

[disneydreamersx4]

OMG that lady is a headcase!! I feel so bad for you
She would probably cause me to move. Good luck OP

 

[It'sWDW4me]

I want to just let it go and ignore everything she does, but I also don't want her to think that she can just walk all over us either! Another thing about the potted plants is that she put them on the adjoining wall that our porches share and every summer( this is her 3rd summer living there so she knows ) I hang a bamboo shade for privacy,the hooks are there but we haven't put it out yet. It is on our side but with these pots there I will not be able to hang it because the pots are in the way. The wall is about 6 inches wide and the pots are about 8 inches wide so they hang over on her side and mine ...technically 3 inches of that wall is hers and 3 is mine. I can't just slide them over so that i can hang my shade because they would fall.

Very passive aggressive on her part. I'm betting she doesn't like your bamboo shade and this is her way of attempting to control your putting it up. Does your shade hang on your side of the wall only or is it situated smack in the middle? If it's smack in the middle of the wall, technically, it's invading her space too, so you may need to move the hooks over an inch or two. Then, after moving the hooks (if applicable), I'd take the shade out this weekend and let her know that her plants are in the way of your shade.

You - "I'd hate to push your plants over to your side and have them fall off of the wall. You may like to find another place to keep these lovely plants so they don't get damaged by my shade!"

Her - "Oh, but I don't really care for your shade. I think these plants look much better"

You - "Well, we like our shade and we've had it here for a few years now. You may want to find another place for your plants so they won't get damaged when we put our shade down."

And regarding the "activities" - I agree with clapping/cheering. Do you have a TV in your room? Maybe blast it for a few minutes in the middle of her "enthusiasm." She, as well as her "friend", will get the message.

Good luck. Next thing you know, she'll be telling you exactly how to mow your grass (I had a neighbor from heck, too!).

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...She wanted to remove the existing fence ( it needed it ) it was put their by the previous owners. She asked us to pay for half of it, but she had already picked it out and we would have no say in it. So we went out that weekend and put up our own 6 foot privacy fence...

Sounds like you started it.

 

[bookgirl]

Next time she starts having relations push your speakers against the wall and put on a Barry White album.

As for your screen, leave her a note that you are hanging it up on this date and if the pots are not moved then the screen will just have to lay on them.

 

[NAB]

Sounds like you started it.

That was my first thought too. How bad can a fence be , they were willing to pay for half.. And you said it needed to be changed why didn't you do this before they asked.

And the pots , well maybe she put them up for privacy too if they are bushes in a pot. I think you have to give a little, may not be your taste but you also said it is half hers too.

They moved in three years and this is just happening now?

And the relations...that is her business too and I don't think she is doing it to drive you crazy. Do they have kids or it is just her and her partner.

And the dogs, we here the dogs behind us all the time....can't get away from that anywhere. A dog barks.

This is why I would hate living in an apartment or twin as you call it. I am not will into to tip toe in my own home.

 

[taylor3297]

That was my first thought too. How bad can a fence be , they were willing to pay for half.. And you said it needed to be changed why didn't you do this before they asked.

In the OP first statement, the neighbor had picked out the fence and would not give the OP a say in the fence.

 

[NAB]

In the OP first statement, the neighbor had picked out the fence and would not give the OP a say in the fence.

I understand that , she said she had already bought the materials. But how ugly can a fence be , our neighbour came to us asked if we wanted to go half for a fence we said sure and put one up. Heck it would be only one side. Wouldn't it look like the one they took down?

 

[Vivianne]

We had a problem with our 15 yr neighbor who has never spoken to me but allowed her dogs to crap on my property (until that matter was taken care of with our dog warden). They got a second dog which she initially tied to her deck and barked continuously. Dogs are part of a pack..you don't isolate one while you keep your preferred dog in your house.

After a friendly call to our dog warden, who in turn, talked to her. Now they hate us but they sure watch over their dogs...no excessive barking now. Yes, I did get the finger from her and she called the cops on us... One of the officers was trying to control her laughter...I can imagine the #@% she put them through...

I won't allow her to bully me and I'll move when I want to.

Try to work it out...it works..sometimes.