Neighbor WWYD

[happygirl]

I think there is a HUGE difference between allowing a child walk home from a bus stop, to allowing a child to fly by themselves.

 

[dogluva]

And where was mom that she doesn't know if the kid was swept away into the ocean or abducted? I can assure you that when my kids are at the beach, I know when they are in or near the water. Even adults can be swept away, why do people refuse to take the fact that the ocean is a dangerous place into consideration? Especially small children should be no where near the water without an adult next to them. Is this something people just don't know if they don't grow up by the shore?

She went to retrieve a ball over a fence. She was back really quickly, I guess. I don't think she is to blame-that is cruel. She is really suffering.

I, personaly, refuse to live my life and my children's lives by being paranoid by every little thing that could happen. She took her kids to the beach on a very rare for us northern New Englanders, April day. I don't think she ever thought she would be going home with one daughter instead of two. It was freakish if you ask me.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

She went to retrieve a ball over a fence. She was back really quickly, I guess. I don't think she is to blame-that is cruel. She is really suffering.

I, personaly, refuse to live my life and my children's lives by being paranoid by every little thing that could happen. She took her kids to the beach on a very rare for us northern New Englanders, April day. I don't think she ever thought she would be going home with one daughter instead of two. It was freakish if you ask me.

I'm not saying she wanted to go home with one less child, nor did I say she was "to blame", I'm saying that people need to be aware of where they are. An ocean beach is no place to leave a small child alone for any length of time. It always amazes me how many people sit on their blanket or in their chair with a young child playing in the surf. It only takes a second for a big wave to come in and scoop them up.

One small decision can change your life forever. I hardly think that watching your child near the ocean qualifies as being paranoid.

 

[mhsjax]

Airlines have rules as to what ages kids can travel alone - I doubt a 6 or 7 year old is going to be allowed to fly unattended (and skip paying the fee to the airline). Maybe she was just short? My 11 year old wears a size 7 (and I'd give her money for food). ETA - why didn't she just call home? When SIL was late picking up dd15 (11 at the time) from the airport, she just called me, and I told her where to wait - no big deal.

She didn't have a phone I guess, and she wasn't waiting around for a pick up, it was a connecting flight. She was in a strange town with adult strangers waiting with her for the last leg of the flight. . I don't know how you tell a child where to wait, when it isn't your airport. I just checked the airline website and it stated that an 8 year old could do this. So maybe she was 8. Still way to young to be on her own in a strange airport with a 5 hour lay over. THis lay over was unplanned and that is my point. YOu can't plan everything.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Thank you. I have always thought this. It wasn't a chance I was willing to take. It isn't something you can learn from. Once your child is gone, he is usually gone and if they do find him God knows what happened. Personally if my doughtier was Elizabeth Smart I would rather her have dies than to go through what she went through.

My kids awl to a friends house by themselves, when younger they called to tell me they got there. They don't go to the mall, because ours is full of trash, and I don't mean garbage. However, I do let DD and her friend go for a walk on the beach by themselves when we are there, just take your phone. Where I live going to a museum by yourself isn't an option, unless you can drive, it take about 45 minute to an hour to get there, and NO there are no busses. My kids started staying by themselves when they were in 5th grade.

Umm...what?

 

[mhsjax]

Umm...what?

Um yes. If that was my DD I would rather she be killed instantly than a whole lifetime of suffering and being raped over and over again. Call me crazy, but I am not so selfish that I would want my child back at all costs. There are much worse things than death.

 

[mdsoccermom]

Um yes. If that was my DD I would rather she be killed instantly than a whole lifetime of suffering and being raped over and over again. Call me crazy, but I am not so selfish that I would want my child back at all costs. There are much worse things than death.

I am quite sure Elizabeth Smart, her parents and her new husband would quite disagree with you.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Um yes. If that was my DD I would rather she be killed instantly than a whole lifetime of suffering and being raped over and over again. Call me crazy, but I am not so selfish that I would want my child back at all costs. There are much worse things than death.

Pretty sure Elizabeth Smart's or any other parents who have had their child kidnapped would think that way.

 

[mhsjax]

I am quite sure Elizabeth Smart, her parents and her new husband would quite disagree with you.

That is fine, I am talking about how I would feel. Not her parents, so they can disagree all they want. But in no way would I want to think of my child being tortured like that for years. Their child, their feelings. My child my feelings. YOu don't get to disagree with my feelings about my child. Get it?

 

[WowLookAtThat]

That is fine, I am talking about how I would feel. Not her parents, so they can disagree all they want. But in no way would I want to think of my child being tortured like that for years. Their child, their feelings. My child my feelings. YOu don't get to disagree with my feelings about my child. Get it?

Sorry, I do get to disagree, if you don't want people disagreeing with your statement you put on here, perhaps discretion is key. It was a terrible statement you made and the fact is you can state "my child my feelings" all you want. But saying you would rather have your child dead than having to go through what Elizabeth Smart did (despite using her negative experience to become a victim's advocate) is still a pretty bad because maybe you would feel selfish but to other parents who have lost their children to endangerment they just want their child home and safe.

 

[mhsjax]

Sorry, I do get to disagree. It was a terrible statement you made and the fact is you can state "my child my feelings" all you want. But stating you would rather have your child dead than having to go through what Elizabeth Smart did (despite using her negative experience to become a victim's advocate) is still a terrible statement. Maybe you would feel selfish but to other parents who have lost their children to endangerment they just want their child home and safe.

NO it isn't a terrible statement. I am not talking about other parents, I am talking about me. To me NOTHING is worse than having my child tortured. I think Elizabeth Smart is a wonderful person, but there is no way that I would want my DD to go through what she went through. that is not saying anything negative about Elizabeth so don't try and turn it into that. If you can't understand my feelings, then fine. I stand by what I say. I would rather know my child is dead than to think about and worry about her being raped, beaten, burned, forced to live underground or in a hole for years. My DH feels the same way and so do a lot of people I know. Her being home safe and sound after potentially years of going through this, isn't worth it to me. AGain, many things are much worse than death.

It is kind of like kids or friends and relatives begin a dying person to hang on despite the dying person being in terrible pain, just so they don't have to lose someone. That is selfish. I think it is great that Elizabeth is home, and I am in no way calling her parents selfish. I am sure at some point they wanted closer also. In the end she is alive and great for her, but I wouldn't want to go through those years wondering what was happening to my DD while I was in my nice comfy home, and she was having God knows what done to her.

I am going to leave the conversation now, it is too disturbing to continue. These are my feelings and I stand by them 100%.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

She didn't have a phone I guess, and she wasn't waiting around for a pick up, it was a connecting flight. She was in a strange town with adult strangers waiting with her for the last leg of the flight. . I don't know how you tell a child where to wait, when it isn't your airport. I just checked the airline website and it stated that an 8 year old could do this. So maybe she was 8. Still way to young to be on her own in a strange airport with a 5 hour lay over. THis lay over was unplanned and that is my point. YOu can't plan everything.

I don't know of any airlines that allow 8 year olds to travel without being classified as an 'unaccompanied minor' (which means that the airline takes custody of them between departure and their destination). The usual minimum age to travel unsupervised is 12 or older and many airlines won't even accept unaccompanied minors unless they are on a direct flight in the first place.

I agree that it would be irresponsible to send a child under the age of 10 unsupervised on an indirect flight but have serious doubts about whether any airline would actually allow that to happen.

Edited to add: My DD13 flew alone across Canada at the age of 8 as an 'unaccompanied minor'. I had to sign forms stating who would pick her up at the other end (my parents), wait at the airport until her flight took off, and then my parents had to show ID before the airline would release her to them. She was very well taken care of by the flight crew, and raves to this day about how much they spoiled her (extra cookies from first class, got to go meet the pilots, etc.)

 

[Sgt Mickey]

ummm wow



Going back to comment on just the original post .......why don't you find out WHY the girl is walking alone or waiting for a ride that is late instead of jumping to conclusions. NOT everyone can stay home and NOT everyone had a job where they can just leave. My kids are always my first priority and that is why keeping a job to keep food n the table is also very important. Just saying you don't know the family circumstance why not find out and if I was there everyday and a neighbor needed a hand I would try to help them out as much as I could.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Personally, I would walk thru hell and back, naked, with the hounds of hell chasing me to have an abducted daughter back with me, tortured or no. Selfish of me, probably, but I don't think there would ever be a time I wouldn't want my child brought back to me.

 

[mhsjax]

I don't know of any airlines that allow 8 year olds to travel without being classified as an 'unaccompanied minor' (which means that the airline takes custody of them between departure and their destination). The usual minimum age to travel unsupervised is 12 or older and many airlines won't even accept unaccompanied minors unless they are on a direct flight in the first place.

I agree that it would be irresponsible to send a child under the age of 10 unsupervised on an indirect flight but have serious doubts about whether any airline would actually allow that to happen.

Edited to add: My DD13 flew alone across Canada at the age of 8 as an 'unaccompanied minor'. I had to sign forms stating who would pick her up at the other end (my parents), wait at the airport until her flight took off, and then my parents had to show ID before the airline would release her to them. She was very well taken care of by the flight crew, and raves to this day about how much they spoiled her (extra cookies from first class, got to go meet the pilots, etc.)

never mind. It happened, I know it happened, that is all that matters.

 

[Poohforyou]

Um yes. If that was my DD I would rather she be killed instantly than a whole lifetime of suffering and being raped over and over again. Call me crazy, but I am not so selfish that I would want my child back at all costs. There are much worse things than death.

But you realize that many, if not most, children who are abducted and killed are also molested. I agree that I'd rather find out my child was murdered than be tortured every day wondering if she's being abused. However, until the absolute end I'd pray every day she'd come home to us.

Elizabeth Smart is a role model to all that one can rise above any adversity and make a new life. I wish her all the happiness life can bring her.

 

[cornflake]

NO it isn't a terrible statement. I am not talking about other parents, I am talking about me. To me NOTHING is worse than having my child tortured. I think Elizabeth Smart is a wonderful person, but there is no way that I would want my DD to go through what she went through. that is not saying anything negative about Elizabeth so don't try and turn it into that. If you can't understand my feelings, then fine. I stand by what I say. I would rather know my child is dead than to think about and worry about her being raped, beaten, burned, forced to live underground or in a hole for years. My DH feels the same way and so do a lot of people I know. Her being home safe and sound after potentially years of going through this, isn't worth it to me. AGain, many things are much worse than death.

It is kind of like kids or friends and relatives begin a dying person to hang on despite the dying person being in terrible pain, just so they don't have to lose someone. That is selfish. I think it is great that Elizabeth is home, and I am in no way calling her parents selfish. I am sure at some point they wanted closer also. In the end she is alive and great for her, but I wouldn't want to go through those years wondering what was happening to my DD while I was in my nice comfy home, and she was having God knows what done to her.

I am going to leave the conversation now, it is too disturbing to continue. These are my feelings and I stand by them 100%.

This is so disturbing and ... disturbed I can't even.

It's not that you disagree with Smart's parents, see, it's that you disagree with Smart HERSELF.

Yes, she spent nine months at the hands of a crazy rapist kidnapper.

She's spent the near decade since getting a college degree, playing the cello at a high level, meeting and marrying presumably the love of her life, looking forward to hopefully decades of happiness, children, friends, family and advocacy, perhaps helping countless other people.

I think she thinks that's better than if she'd been killed because her parents might have had to worry less. Good grief.

Terrible things don't have to define one's life - nor do they have to define it in a negative way. You think she'd be better off dead, she disagrees and that's all that matters.

 

[aprilgail2]

Personally, I would walk thru hell and back, naked, with the hounds of hell chasing me to have an abducted daughter back with me, tortured or no. Selfish of me, probably, but I don't think there would ever be a time I wouldn't want my child brought back to me.

I think most normal people would feel the same way-can't imagine feeling any other way!

 

[crashbb]

I don't know of any airlines that allow 8 year olds to travel without being classified as an 'unaccompanied minor' (which means that the airline takes custody of them between departure and their destination). The usual minimum age to travel unsupervised is 12 or older and many airlines won't even accept unaccompanied minors unless they are on a direct flight in the first place.

I agree that it would be irresponsible to send a child under the age of 10 unsupervised on an indirect flight but have serious doubts about whether any airline would actually allow that to happen.

Edited to add: My DD13 flew alone across Canada at the age of 8 as an 'unaccompanied minor'. I had to sign forms stating who would pick her up at the other end (my parents), wait at the airport until her flight took off, and then my parents had to show ID before the airline would release her to them. She was very well taken care of by the flight crew, and raves to this day about how much they spoiled her (extra cookies from first class, got to go meet the pilots, etc.)

I flew as an UM a number of times as a kid (started on my fifth birthday, actually) and always had a great time.

I've checked: United, US Airways, Delta, Jet Blue, American and Southwest. Not one of these airlines would have allowed a 6-8 year old child (child's age seems to change) to fly outside of the UM program.

I don't see a lengthed (or even unexpected stop over) to be something that you couldn't plan for. Once I aged out of the UM program, my parents made sure that I knew what to do if I missed a connection, my plane was re-routed, or we made an emergency stop over somewhere. If parents are going to send a child on a fight and not use the UM program, these are all things that should be discussed (and, clearly, the child should be given money for the trip).

 

[lillygator]

You might want to talk to your 6 yr old about these things "just in case".

There are times my 6 yr old (1st grader) is home alone. He knows the rules. They have been drilled into his head over and over again since he was in pre-k.

that is appalling....my middle child is 7 (and in 1st grade) and not in a million years would I leave her at home alone.....