thankyou everyone, unfortunately it just keeps coming. My mum phoned with news to tell me she now has health issues and will be having surgery, not life threatening but there all the same. Colin will not leave his mums side in the evenings as he is worried something will happen, she is very down with it all, having nightmares, she is totally reliant on him again. i cant be there with the kids on school holidays, this has become about so much more than a holiday now, i really feel like i cant cope with any more, i cant be with the one i love, i am not sleeping properly at all as i cant switch off, i cant have a break as i have the children constantly and they are not going to their dad till next weekend. it just feels like a treadmill i cant get off with nothing to look forward to and nothing ever changing.
sorry to be so negative and down, i just cant be anything else right now