Need to vent

[BabyTigger99]

Okay, I posted once about how frustrated I am with my DH's ex-wife and was totally flamed, so I am going to keep this short and to the point. DSD(10) mom works as an RN. At the beginning of the school year, she and my DH had a talk about when she would be working. She agreed that she would only take shifts during the day when DSD is at school, or on Friday and Saturday nights when we have here (we get her every weekend, except for when my DH has National Guard). DH had offered at the beginning of the school year to have DSD come up and live and go to school up by us (DSD mom lives about an hour south of us) and be with mom on the weekends, that way she could work more if she wanted to. DH also told her that he would not even want child support from his ex-wife, that the swing in him not paying would be more that sufficient. She, of course, said no way, she would be around when DSD would be there. Well, come to find out, she has been working more and more shifts, DSD is shuttled around to different relatives houses during the week, and last night, when DH called to talk to DSD, his ex-wife's 14 year old son answered the phone, said DSD was sleeping over at a friend's house (which really aggravated DH, because of it being a school night), and the ex was working. He called and left her a message, but she has yet to return the call. DH wants to have stability for her, one of us is home every single night, but doesn't want it to get into a big fight. I don't want to think about court either (I actually work at the courthouse), but I also don't think it's fair to shuffle the poor kid around. Just some help or advice, please don't flame me again!!

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

Sister, I feel your pain. I have been where you are...stepdaughter left in hotel casino daycares overnight just for starters...

Our battle was a 4 year battle and cost more than $15,000 in court costs alone. We have custody now, but it wasn't because the courts were ever kind to my husband.

A couple of things working for you--working at the courthouse gives you a good idea of what you have to face. This is not just about a painful battle for control, it's about your stepdaughter's well-being. If your husband is ready to take the lead, you must do this because it's the right thing to do.

PM me and I'll send you my e-mail address and lots of information.

 

[floridaminnie]

No flames here either. Just a hard situation and the child does need stability. I would be concerned also. Good luck!

 

[Pebblszzz]

It's sad that kids have to be (I think) 14 in most states to decide who they want to live with.

My Dad offered a family, stability....in exchange for giving up child support. Mom wouldn't hear of it, she needed (wanted) the cash.

I wish she hadn't been so money-hungry in those days, I think my childhood memories would be much happier.

Good luck to you, and PD for the DSD.

 

[KathyFP]

Custody case are so emotional and tough. Inthe end it is always the child that suffers. It is the exception when parents are able to be adults and remain focused on the most important issue - THE CHILD.

I hope that the child gets what she needs and everything turns out in her best interest. I am glad that she has a step mom who cares.

 

[BabyTigger99]

Thanks for the posts. The ex still has not called back to discuss with DH. He is going to try her again tonight, but who knows, she will probably be at work again!