Need to vent

[sndfan]

Employers care about what college you graduate from not high school so as long as he works hard and gets good grades he'll be better off in the long run.

I think this may depend on what area of the country you live in. I know in my area, when people ask what school you went to, they mean high school. There are many private and Catholic schools in this area that have VERY strong alumni involvement. Many people I know have gotten jobs and work contacts based on these relationships.

To the OP, that being said, if there was no agreement to pay for private school, then I don't think she should push it. Personally, I pay for my own son's education, his father has never contributed (and he has no other children). He has always told me that he would contribute if he could. So each year, I ask him if he can contribute...he turns me down. I'm giving him the opportunity. I would honestly appreciate anything...even if it was paying for books, fees, uniforms or even just giving $500 from taxes towards school, but that's just not going to happen.

I'm doing what I feel is in the best long term interest for my child. Do I make sacrifices? Yes. I think all parents make sacrifices for what they deem important. I am laying a strong foundation for him that will hopefully serve him well in his adulthood.

I do think that assuming that the only reason she wants to send him to private school is so she can "say that he goes to private school" is a bit harsh. If you don't know why she wants to send him to private school, then your ex should calmly ask for her logic. You might be surprised.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Ericandjenng]

At this point, I would be more concerned about the disruption it would cause for the child. He has already formed friendships not only with his classmates but also with others in the school and relationships with the various teachers and staff members. It gets harder on kids every year so why would anyone (even a crazy one) want to add additional stress to their child?

You (and your DH) deserve an extra huge sprinkle of ***Pixie Dust*** for staying so sane with the crazy exes.

BEST OF LUCK!!

 

[dzneelvr]

Your DH has the right attitude...it ain't happenin! Let it go. I sense that she throws out (or will throw out) such outrageous ideas because she knows it causes drama. I have a SIL who was very similar and although it was VERY difficult to ignore her (and her drama) at first, it got easier and now it's to the point that she's stopped completely because no one "bites". Thank heaven your DH has his head on straight.....and enjoy your wonderful family time because you are doing it right

 

[livie1205]

Your DH has the right attitude...it ain't happenin! Let it go. I sense that she throws out (or will throw out) such outrageous ideas because she knows it causes drama. I have a SIL who was very similar and although it was VERY difficult to ignore her (and her drama) at first, it got easier and now it's to the point that she's stopped completely because no one "bites". Thank heaven your DH has his head on straight.....and enjoy your wonderful family time because you are doing it right

oh yeh...we talked about it for 10 minutes he said no way and it was done... I just get so tired of the CRAZY things she asks us to do! I already do most everything anyway.This is just one more crazy thing in a long line of crazy things.She just hates the fact that she has no say so in my DH life anymore...none ..zip.....even when it comes to making choices for my dss he never does anything without saying to her "well me and ***** will talk about it and let you know".I am the one that takes him for shots,reg dr visits,dentist ect... she even called ME to ask if I thought he should get his h1n1 vax...when she had already told me no,he cant have it! I told her well yeh and then of course I TOOK HIM... not that I mind of course but gee when is she going to step up? She wants us to pay for private school but she has NO CLUE where his primary drs office is! NONE... They only know me as his mom.SORRY FOR ALL THE VENTS GUYS

 

[eyor44]

OP
Go right ahead and vent. That is what we are here for. I'll add in, I think you are right in keeping him in public school. If it is a good school and he is doing good, why move him. I would consider the discussion closed. What I finally started saying to my ex was...."really.....hmmmm.....I'll think about it unless you are ready to foot the bill completely" Then I would make him sign DS up for whatever and sign any contracts.

I learned quickly that when I would sign DS up for something with the promise of ex paying I would usually end up with at least half the bill. When people would call or ask for payments (DS lived with me and I took him to everything) I would say "call his father, he's responsible for payment" and give them the number.

 

[badblackpug]

A little off topic, but private education does not necessarily equal better education. In the area in which I live the public schools are higher ranked than than the private schools. I know people who choose private schools for religious reasons, and I also know people who choose private schools for "prestige" reasons, but the truth of the matter is, here, the public schools actually have a lot more to offer. (of course, given what I am paying in taxes, they SHOULD! )

That being said, if there is no child support/divorce agreement that states that your husband has to pay for private school. then you are safe. ...and give that your son is currently in public school, is doing well, and is learing there probably isn't a judge in the county that would ever rule that he should be sent to private school.

I would just have your husband tell the ex: "We don't agree with your opinion on private school, but we have no objection to {son} attending private school. If you choose to put in him in private school we will support your decision, but we can't and won't contribute financially."

 

[kristinw3girls]

Just say no!