need to vent....

[livie1205]

I just need to vent and get this out...my ex is behind in CS about 10,000 and I also pay health care and EVERYTHING else including all clothes,meds and school supply...NO HELP
well I find out today his teenage g friend is 4 months pregnant! I feel so bad for her,she seems like a nice girl but he does not even take care of his first child and now another one! Her parents hate him,they have called me and asked me about his lack of support (a long time ago) he is not a nice guy...I left him because of abuse and they know this and hate him.I am so upset because the first thing my son said is "he dont even take care of me!" I have a appt with my atty next week so we can get our papers done and ready to file...JUST NEEDED TO VENT!

 

[momof1princess]

good luck to you i've seen many a child support situation gone awry (used to be a legal secretary). you may want to ask for an order to withhold child support from his paycheck. it can be taken out before he ever gets it and would assure your DS is taken care of. poor girl, i hope she wakes up before her baby is born.

 

[livie1205]

really I do feel bad for her...he is not a good dad.also I DO think he should take care of that child also but he has been NOT taking care of my son for years so I have to look out for him also.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I just need to vent and get this out...my ex is behind in CS about 10,000 and I also pay health care and EVERYTHING else including all clothes,meds and school supply...NO HELP
well I find out today his teenage g friend is 4 months pregnant! I feel so bad for her,she seems like a nice girl but he does not even take care of his first child and now another one! Her parents hate him,they have called me and asked me about his lack of support (a long time ago) he is not a nice guy...I left him because of abuse and they know this and hate him.I am so upset because the first thing my son said is "he dont even take care of me!" I have a appt with my atty next week so we can get our papers done and ready to file...JUST NEEDED TO VENT!

Wow. Your son he's lucky to have you. Hopefully one day his dad will wake up and do the right thing.

How old is the girl? How long have they been dating? If she was underage when they started dating, why didn't her father kick his ***?

 

[Disneyliscious]

Save your hard earned money and use Child Support Services. They are free to use, unless they collect over $500 per year for you and then its only a $25 fee.

They take a long time (will take you about 6 months to a year to get him in court) but by going them, it will be a criminal offense insead of a civil offense (using your atty). He is much more likely to serve jail time when he is charged with a criminal offense.

I know that jail is not what we want here.....but sometimes they gotta be woke up and the real possibility of him serving jail time just might do that. This new baby will have NO bearing on your child support unless they live together or she has an order for support against him.

I have one who is ten grand behind as well. He is facing 40 days in jail next month. Guess what? I just got $650 from him last week.

 

[LWatson]

Can they take the back pay out of his tax return too???

 

[livie1205]

Wow. Your son he's lucky to have you. Hopefully one day his dad will wake up and do the right thing.

How old is the girl? How long have they been dating? If she was underage when they started dating, why didn't her father kick his ***?

lol I wish but no she is 19 so she is "of age" but still wanting to be a child so I do not know whats going to happen...

 

[a1tinkfans]

Be proud of YOU for taking care of your son!
Eventually (we can only hope) his dad will wake up and know what a mess he has made of his childs life, to deny him what he deserves. SAD but unfortunately common in our country.

Best of luck to you and your son! You're the lucky one, the EX is just that AN EX and no more a part of YOUR LIFE...I would proceed as planned and protect your son and go after the ex for his responsibilities..........

 

[DISNEYNV]

really I do feel bad for her...he is not a good dad.also I DO think he should take care of that child also but he has been NOT taking care of my son for years so I have to look out for him also.

I feel for you and your child! Do what YOU can and get from him what you can if possible to support your child. The other girl (yes, teens are still kids) is in for a rude awakening. This guy sounds like a loser for not wanting anything to do with his children. I hope you find someone one day that appreciates you and your child. They are hard to come by, but they are out there

 

[Leajess99]

So sorry you have to deal with this. I had to deal with the visitation issue last week and my ex thought nothing of telling the judge how he and his "not girlfriend" preplanned having the child they have together. He said the girl was ready to have a child and thought he was a good father. I guess leaving the state your children live in to be with "friends" and not paying child support for almost 5 years and abusing your children is what makes a good father in her eyes. @@

I just don;t understand the way some people think. And yes, mine is my ex but he has so changed over the recent years that it is scary. I am now afraid of him and never was before. This is a man that thought there was nothing wrong with slapping his child in the mouth, biting her twice and the the grossest part of it was making her use his toothbrush because she dared forget hers in her overnight bag at the hotel we had been in prior to the meetup. The man refused to go to the front desk of their hotel to get her one and told the judge that I get child support and all that jazz. I loved listening to the judge on that case.

I hope they get your child the support from his father and that he starts stepping up for your child.

 

[badblackpug]

I don't know if it varies from state to state, I imagine it does, but here non payment of child support is a jail-able offense. If you are in arrears on your child support the state suspends your drivers license and any professional licenses you may hold. They also withhold any income tax return you are supposed to get. Basically you are locked up until you can pay whatever percentage of your arrears the court deems necessary. Some counties actually put you on a work release program, and take 100% of what you earn while you are in jail and put it towards your arrears. If you are unemployed they find a job for you. Usually manual labor.

I have a friend who tells me she can track her baby-daddy's whereabouts based on whether she gets a check or not. If she gets a check that month, he's in jail! One time he had $3 and change in his pocket when he got arrested and they sent it to her. The bum had the nerve to write her and ask her to bring her daughter to visit him in jail (he hasn't seen her in years) and, by the way, he wanted his $3 back! ...yeah, no, that went towards the only thing he ever paid for...a happy meal!

 

[livie1205]

I feel for you and your child! Do what YOU can and get from him what you can if possible to support your child. The other girl (yes, teens are still kids) is in for a rude awakening. This guy sounds like a loser for not wanting anything to do with his children. I hope you find someone one day that appreciates you and your child. They are hard to come by, but they are out there

no worries for me and my son....I have been re married to a great guy for 5 yrs now and he is 100x the husband and dad my is was! My dh has a son from his first marriage andthough he lives with us most of the time my dh has NEVER missed a CS payment and he takes care of my son (even paying for his health care) better then his dad ever will...I just think it sucks that he does not care enough to take care of his son but is not carefull enough to get another poor girl pregnant,she has no clue what she is in for!
When I was married to him he gave me no help at all when my son was a baby and he was just cruel to us both...that is why I left him.I hope she does not ever go through the hell I went through pregnant....lets just say he has no problem hitting a pregnant women!I have heard that her parents made her move home for a while with them (another town) and I am glad because now the baby has a chance of having no harm to it while in the womb.My son will have mental issues forever because of him and my dh and I are the ones paying for all the dr appts so he can one day be ok.....I am going to have him put UNDER the jail! He WILL help with his son. THANKS EVERYONE I needed to get it out...

 

[livie1205]

UPDATE


my parents just ran into him with a NEW GIRL! like I said I feel sorry for the pregnant one!

 

[chrisw127]

Really, it sounds like you'd be doing the women of your town a favor by putting this loser in jail.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Keep in mind that the law views this money as your son's money, so when your son is 18, he can sue his "father" for back child support (most states have a 5 year statute of limitations, meaning they have to do it by age 23). So next time you see him, remind him that if you don't get him, your son can.

Good luck. Hang in there.

 

[livie1205]

I did not know that i will remember that! THANKS

 

[lorax123]

UPDATE


my parents just ran into him with a NEW GIRL! like I said I feel sorry for the pregnant one!

NICE! What kind of guy is this? Perhaps its better that he is NOT around your son...I am glad you found a great role model for your son and best of luck to you. I wouldnt feel too bad for your Ex...he will get what he deserves in the long run.

 

[mlynn]

I don't know if it varies from state to state, I imagine it does, but here non payment of child support is a jail-able offense. If you are in arrears on your child support the state suspends your drivers license and any professional licenses you may hold. They also withhold any income tax return you are supposed to get. Basically you are locked up until you can pay whatever percentage of your arrears the court deems necessary. Some counties actually put you on a work release program, and take 100% of what you earn while you are in jail and put it towards your arrears. If you are unemployed they find a job for you. Usually manual labor.

I have a friend who tells me she can track her baby-daddy's whereabouts based on whether she gets a check or not. If she gets a check that month, he's in jail! One time he had $3 and change in his pocket when he got arrested and they sent it to her. The bum had the nerve to write her and ask her to bring her daughter to visit him in jail (he hasn't seen her in years) and, by the way, he wanted his $3 back! ...yeah, no, that went towards the only thing he ever paid for...a happy meal!

They don't aways do this.My ex BIL owes my sister 46,000 for child support so he left NJ and moved to PA. Twice they picked him up for it but then released him. She would get a notice that they had him.She would take the day off of w*ork to go to court and he wasn't there.She did get a check one time when he was owed it from the Navy Yard he worked at.But he hasn't filed any taxes in years. He did one time take a girlfriend to the court house and say she was my sister and didn't want child support. So that took a few years to clear up.My nieces have even contacted Rendell and he doesn't do anything. Pa is one of the worse states for Child support.

 

[luvsJack]

I hate leaches like you who divorce men yet expect them to pay so you can lay around the house all day. GET A JOB!!!

Sorry, I "JUST NEED TO VENT!"

Exactly where do you get that she "lays around the house all day"?

How dare you act as though this or any man should not pay child support.

To try and make any woman feel guilty for trying to make a man take on his responislbity and help support his child is just the lowest of the low.

 

[livie1205]

They must have removed that persons post lol I do NOT lay around all day...and even if I did I take care of my 3 kids...my ex does not help with ANYTHING....nothing...zip! my dh pays for my ds (his step sons) health care and everything else...my dh has NEVER missed his CS payment and anyone that thinks a man should not help take care of their child is just plain stupid...yes I said stupid.I guess she has a man that does not like paying HIS CS...what a winner.

 

[luvsJack]

They must have removed that persons post lol I do NOT lay around all day...and even if I did I take care of my 3 kids...my ex does not help with ANYTHING....nothing...zip! my dh pays for my ds (his step sons) health care and everything else...my dh has NEVER missed his CS payment and anyone that thinks a man should not help take care of their child is just plain stupid...yes I said stupid.I guess she has a man that does not like paying HIS CS...what a winner.

My thoughts exactly.