Need to vent......

[stinkerbelle's mom]

I don't care how many people tell my kids evil things about tooth fairy, easter bunny, santa, etc....they know the truth from ME! We DO believe in fairies, we DO, we DO... (oh, my kids are 17 and 18, and would never break my heart by saying they didn't believe...great kids, huh?).

Avoid the evil, nasty, magic-killer.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

...and told her that FIL GF is a DRUNK!!!!

 

[ilovepcot]

If it were me, I'd feel as though that woman had stolen a little bit of magic from my daughter's childhood. *Not* a good thing! The sweet magic of childhood doesn't last long enough as it is. I'd be be looking this girlfriend of FIL up to tell her not to discuss Santa, sex, politics or religion!

 

[dreamcometrue]

how old is your DD? Maybe she has been finding bits and pieces out on her own (these are hot topics at school before Easter, Christmas, etc.) and was just trying to feel you out and used that woman's name as a coverup!

My kids have asked about the Easter bunny, Santa, tooth fairy, etc. I never say "yes there is" or "no there isn't". I just say "well, what do YOU think?" and so far, they have always said "yes, I believe there is one" and I just leave it at that! My DD is 7 and I fully believe she still believes in all of the above. My DS is 11 and I am not too sure if he's putting on a show!

 

[Hannathy]

I'm with a few other posters when did she say there is no Easter Bunny? I think you blew it way out of proportion and YOU, not her told your DD there wasn't a bunny! What is wrong with telling her what she did? If you look at what she told her it was that parents HELP THE EASTER BUNNY. meaning THERE IS AN EASTER BUNNY. You decided to say there wasn't. Maybe the lady doesn't like to lie either (since you seem so proud about it) and thought that was the most she would feel comfortable saying to your DD without telling her the truth. I have always said the the EB or Santa gets help ie all the bunnies andSanta's at the malls and Easter hunts. I'm with your DH on this one.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would be so mad! She could have answered a multitude of ways so as not to give anything away and then she should have called you and given you a heads up. I want the magic to alst as long as possible. Unfortunately for us my ds (almost 5) has been asking questions that I have been quite creative coming up with answers for. Some think it's lying and I suppose it is but I want them to enjoy the innocence of childhood as long as possible. I would pull her aside and let her know that from now on she should direct all inquiries to you or dh. She was out of line.

 

[themarquis]

I never lie to DD so I told her that she is correct there is none. She asked if Dad or I was the Easter Bunny, I told her I was.

okay I'm feeling a bit punchy tonight ... but isn't leading her to believe that the easter bunny/santa claus/ tooth fairy/etc is real for many many years just implicitly lying?? So ... its not so much that you are now telling the truth but that you are now having to own up to actually having lied for so many years?

lol ... flame away folks...

 

[Becky2005]

Is it possible your dd was asking questions like "why are all those people buying candy - doesn't the Easter Bunny bring it?" or "why are we dying eggs, doesn't the Easter Bunny bring those?" and she said "sometimes the parents help out?" I guess I'm confused about what you're so upset about. It doesn't sound like she said there wasn't an Easter Bunny, dd got that info out of you.

That's what I thought I read too -- that she said "The parents HELP OUT the Easter Bunny..." your DD figured out the rest on her own & was just confirming it with you.

I could see saying that innocently enough -- luckily my kids already know about Santa, Easter Bunny, etc... has saved me lots of issues (except DD doesn't believe me about Santa -- It's usually the other way around.)such as "why did Johnny get this huge expensive thing for Christmas yet Sally got a pair of skates" -- I've read of all sorts of interesting things on what parents tell their kids the difference is -- it usually boils down to some form of "the parents HELP OUT Santa with xyz"

I would think by saying helping out, I was skirting the issue -- all depends I guess on how it was brought up in the first place. That part isn't known.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, it sounds to me like FIL's GF tried to "soft pedal" it as much as she could, which, as a childless person who may or may not know what parents do or don't want their children to know, I know I have done. I try to give a vague enough answer so that I am not really giving anything away. I could see myself saying "Well, maybe the Moms and Dads help out the Easter Bunny sometimes".

Sounds like you don't like FIL's GF and are kind of "looking" for things??? Maybe give that a thought.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Well, it sounds to me like FIL's GF tried to "soft pedal" it as much as she could, which, as a childless person who may or may not know what parents do or don't want their children to know, I know I have done. I try to give a vague enough answer so that I am not really giving anything away. I could see myself saying "Well, maybe the Moms and Dads help out the Easter Bunny sometimes".

Sounds like you don't like FIL's GF and are kind of "looking" for things??? Maybe give that a thought.

I have to agree with you it looks like the OP doesn't like the fil's new woman and is trying to stir up trouble. Even if not I agree with the DH about the over reacting bit.

 

[Nancyg56]

I am with your DH on this one. It is not always easy to start answering questions that someone else's child is asking. It sounds like the GF tried to answering by sitting on a fence, not that she told your DD that the Easter Bunny and Santa were myths. Perhaps your DD was using the conversation to voice ideas that she already had, that she used the GF to float the ideas because this woman was new to the family and would not necessarily know your standard answer.

Kids are pretty smart and know how to bamboozle unsuspecting adults into answering questions that they would rather not. I would cut the lady some slack.

 

[CEDmom]

I have no problem with not sharing the whole truth with my DD especially about stuff like this so I guess I don't see things from your point of view. I don't see how your FIL's girlfriend did much of anything.

 

[mickeyfan2]

She had no business telling your DD that. If you want to have the EB, TF, Santa etc. in your home, that is your decision. When it stops is again your decision, not hers.

 

[Hannathy]

Will all the people who say she was horrible, PLEASE tell me where she said there was NO EASTER BUNNY! the only person who said this was the poster to her own Daughter.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Will all the people who say she was horrible, PLEASE tell me where she said there was NO EASTER BUNNY! the only person who said this was the poster to her own Daughter.

She should have said, "What do you think." or "There questions are better addressed by your parents."

I told my nephew there was not Santa, but it happened after he kept asking questions and made it clear he no longer believed. My brother forbid my SIL from telling him the truth, so she asked me to have a conversation with him and see what he knew. Eventually he said, "I know that Mom and Dad are Santa." I told him that was true. Then I was able to fins out that he was scared that once he did not believe that gift would stop. I reassured him that was not the case and a cloud lifted from him. I then told he he could not help Mom and Dad be Santa for his baby sister. He was thrilled.

I would never have had this conversation or the one in the OP without the Mom having asked me.

 

[RealMickeysGirl]

When I was in the third grade, a kid got up for show and tell and told us how he found all his christmas presents and that there wasn't any santa.

The teacher just let him ramble on about how he knew there wasn't a santa and how he knew where his parents hid his presents so he always knew before christmas what he was going to get.

When he was done, the teacher stood up and told the class that sometimes when a child is so bad that santa won't leave them any presents, the parents will buy presents so the child doesn't know that santa thinks they have been bad. Shut this kid up really good. Made the rest of the class feel better - I mean, we were only in the third grade.

I know she lied to us but I think she handled it very well - put the problem of santa/no santa back on this kids parents when he told them what she said in class. Maybe then they told him that some things he should keep to himself.

 

[RitaZ.]

When he was done, the teacher stood up and told the class that sometimes when a child is so bad that santa won't leave them any presents, the parents will buy presents so the child doesn't know that santa thinks they have been bad. Shut this kid up really good. Made the rest of the class feel better - I mean, we were only in the third grade.

I guess that in the end (since Santa isn't real) the teacher's analogy applied to all the students, meaning they are all "so bad" children. Yikes!

OP, I had to read your first post more than once. I thought that I must not be reading it right since I couldn't see anything terrible about what the woman said. I thought that was actually a safe reply to handle the situation. You said that you wished that your MIL was still alive. It sounds like you resent FIL's GF, which is probably a natural reaction. I don't think that making that comment makes the woman a horrible person.

 

[Crankyshank]

I really don't understand what the big deal is. In all likelihood she probably didn't realize your policy to tell the truth about the Easter Bunny, and side stepped the question to avoid telling her there was no bunny in case she still believed and you wanted her to continue believing. Most other parents would be furious if someone told their child that Santa or the Easter Bunny wasn't real.

 

[shirleyb]

When I was in the third grade, a kid got up for show and tell and told us how he found all his christmas presents and that there wasn't any santa.

The teacher just let him ramble on about how he knew there wasn't a santa and how he knew where his parents hid his presents so he always knew before christmas what he was going to get.

When he was done, the teacher stood up and told the class that sometimes when a child is so bad that santa won't leave them any presents, the parents will buy presents so the child doesn't know that santa thinks they have been bad. Shut this kid up really good. Made the rest of the class feel better - I mean, we were only in the third grade.

I know she lied to us but I think she handled it very well - put the problem of santa/no santa back on this kids parents when he told them what she said in class. Maybe then they told him that some things he should keep to himself.

This is a pretty funny story, but can't you see in today's world, the parents would be trying to get that teacher fired for hurting their little snookum self esteem!

 

[RealMickeysGirl]

This is a pretty funny story, but can't you see in today's world, the parents would be trying to get that teacher fired for hurting their little snookum self esteem!

Yep - I can see law suits left and right if it happened now. This was back in 1967 though - people didn't seem to sue at the drop of a hat back then. At least not in small southern towns.