Need to vent about boss - WWYD

[focusondisney]

OK. Why did no one follow the new rule????

 

[ajk912]

OK. Why did no one follow the new rule????

I was just thinking that. Seriously people. When you read a new thread you quote the OP before it disapears. Now the rest of us are left guessing.

I figured it out though, hopefully the OP gets the time off she needs. Good luck!!!

 

[HelenePA]

Sorry.....but I truly need to vent or I am going to explode!

I have worked for this company for 2 yrs. and I truly bust my butt. The staff consistently tell me how glad they are I came onboard because they have never had things done so quickly, correctly, and efficiently. They wait for nothing. I go above and beyond.

I get 2 weeks of vacation each year and haven't used any. My son is getting married in 2 weeks and I was hoping they would approach me and ask what I was considering taking off for the wedding. They know I am planning the event (not the brides mom) and I've been working 45-50 hours here, 6-8 hours at a 2nd job and planning this wedding. I still get all my work done and more and with a smile on my face!

Anyways, they didn't approach me so I emailed them and asked them what would be good for them. I want to be fair and make sure they are covered, etc. So I get called into the office today and was basically told if I thought I was taking the whole week off to forget about it. They have been more than flexible and they expect me to work my normal schedule. They "might" consider letting me leave a little early if need be. If I wanted to consider taking time off with "no pay" (despite having 2 wks. vacation), they "might" consider it!

Are they kidding me?????? It's my son's wedding not a trip to WDW! He said to me "and what happens when your next child gets married--do you expect time off then too???" This jerk is coming to the wedding!!! I wish he wasn't--trust me!

They also know my brother is coming into town for the wedding and staying with me for a week and I haven't seen him 5 yrs. He just retired from the Air Force after 20 years. The owner's response was "It's not my (meaning me) problem you choose to stay with me. Sleep in every day until I get home from work and we'll spend time together then!" Nice guy huh!

So what do I do now? I would bet 100% this owner did not speak with the other owner about this. I know the other guy would let me take whatever time off I needed (as long as my work was done). The owner that talked to me just wants me to "be here just in case!" His sister had the job before me and she had no family and nothing to go home to so she was here from 10-8 5 days a week. However, she did no work. She played on computer almost all the time. I bust my butt and do 10X what she did and they told me I produce so much more than she ever did.

So what do I do next??

I "did" talk with them many, many months ago about the wedding and taking time off. It's not that the request is just going in. We discussed it and it was left with no answer. They never responded. We have a good working relationship and both owners and I have discussed this!

It's a very small company and nothing is in writing here. I have it in writing on my offer that I would get 2 weeks per year with no restrictions at all. Nothing was said verbally either.

So don't "FLAME" me for waiting until two weeks before! They knew I planned on taking time off almost a year ago and it's been discussed almost monthly since. They simply never gave me an answer. They lead me to believe that they would be more than happy to give me what time off I needed and we would sit down just before the wedding (thus--why I waited until 2 weeks out) to ask them and review what the workload was etc. and we would all agree what worked for all parties.

Don't flame me---I bust my butt for these people! I am a damned hard worker and I do "NOT FEEL ENTITLED!" I have been here for two years and have a very strong track record with them. The company I came from I was at 25 years before they "laid me off cuz I made too much money" and hired someone making 1/2 of what I was making! I am a steady hard worker.

No human resource dept (I am it!), no employee manual, no written policy, no nothing! Everything here done verbally and changes for each person depending on who you are!

So....will someone help me without accusing me or flaming me! I surely never expected to be put on the hot seat. I just simply wanted to know how to approach this!

nothing is ever deleted in cyperspace

 

[focusondisney]

Thank you Helene !!!

 

[ajk912]

nothing is ever deleted in cyperspace

Thanks!!! OP, now that I read both posts it does seems like they are willing to give you some time off, but to have the whole week off might be a bit much. It sounds like a local wedding, right, so it's not a lot of traveling. Working 10-8, you will still have a lot of time to see your brother when he is in town. Just remember it's still a crappy economy...you don't want to throw away a good job over a spiff. I can see if it's your own wedding needing a week for the honeymoon and such..but maybe back down a bit and maybe just take one or two days off. Because if you push this too much, they may try to make your life miserable and force you out, you know?

IMO, weddings are fun but overrated. I wouldn't give up a job over one!!!

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Oooopsssss!

[princess bride] I'll sum up

took job two years ago, two weeks leave.

talked and planned wedding (at work?) for kid. mentioned wedding to boss, and taking time off.

waited for boss to approach her on taking time off.

less than a month before buttercup marry prince humpedink

boss said no time off for short notice.

she is very sad. [/princess bride]

after believing that everyone flamed her, because they asked about why she didn't arrange for annual leave months in advance, she deleted story.

RUM?

 

[focusondisney]

Oooopsssss!


RUM?

No thanks, but sounds like the OP could use one.

And thanks for bringing us up to speed.

 

[disneyfanatic60]

Just drop it. I am truly sorry I asked. I asked a "sincere" question and it's been blown way out of proportion. I guess some people feel the need to just be nasty and make everything negative. Maybe it's the way I posted it or maybe it's the way people are reading it. A simple question....no boo hoo.....no sad. Just someone frustrated as we have all been with our bosses and venting!

Truly sorry! I feel bad enough to begin with and I didn't expect this post to make me feel like I did something wrong or deserve this. I tried to keep the post as short as I could and I think people read between the lines and got the wrong idea!

 

[declansdad]

It seems to me that most people are simply saying that you should have initiated the request and not waited for them to approach you. I know that you talked to them about it earlier but then you left it hanging.

As an employee I always go to the manager with my vacation requests anywhere from 8 to 12 months out and ten I keep going back until I get my answer.

I think you dropped the ball on this one.

 

[Praying Colonel]

First, thanks to Helene! And let's all try to remember "The Rule"!

Second, what I would have done is what OP did originally: ask off in plenty of time. However, I would've followed up sooner than she did, at least by the 90 day mark. Now that the boss is saying how it's going to be, I'd figure I can take what the boss is giving or quit. Personally, I wouldn't quit.

 

[cats7494]

I really don't see this as a complicated issue - maybe I am missing something.
Yes - sure it is a small company but the OP should have pushed for an answer for the vacation "request".
Why isn't there a request form that you submit to your boss? I have worked at mom and pop places and used them. You can find templates online for a request form.
I would have made one up, sent it in, and followed up the next day. And kept following up until I had my answer.

Sorry to hear you are going through this OP; however, I do think you should have pushed more and not assumed.

 

[MushyMushy]

nothing is ever deleted in cyperspace

I FAR from flamed this poster, but my matter of fact questions got deleted.

I think people were asking reasonable questions based on the original information presented.

 

[crashbb]

It seems to me that most people are simply saying that you shouldn't have initiated the request and not waited for them to approach you. I know that you talked to them about it earlier but then you left it hanging.

The thing is, in the original post, the OP didn't mention that she had ever even raised the issue. How were the other posters supposed to know that she had done so? To us, it appeared that she was waiting for them to figure out that she needed time off (I guess because she was obvious about the wedding planning) and just approach her about it.

The update helped, but the fact that the update said that people were flaming her because they (heaven forbid) based their answers on what she posted, didn't sit well with many.

 

[JoiseyMom]

OP, I think you boss has issues. I would talk to the other boss and see what he/she says. ANd then if the answer is still no, you have a decision to make. You can always come down with food poisoning and be living inthe bathroom and just can't make it to work!

Good luck with your DS's wedding!!

 

[mjkacmom]

Visit with the other owner immediately and tell him that you are taking your two weeks of vacation from x to y. (You can spread it out over three weeks if you want with a few workdays thrown in here and there if you feel you need that.) Tell him you notified them a year ago that you would need time off for the wedding and that you want to solidify the dates.

Good luck.

I really don't know of a single job position where an employee can use his or her vacation days anytime they want. DH has never even taken off more than a single week, and he gets tons of vacation time. Telling an empoyer that you are going to take a two week vacation, in two weeks, is crazy.

 

[JoiseyMom]

I really don't know of a single job position where an employee can use his or her vacation days anytime they want. DH has never even taken off more than a single week, and he gets tons of vacation time. Telling an empoyer that you are going to take a two week vacation, in two weeks, is crazy.

First of all she didn't just ask, they knew all along she needed time off. She askd them what would work for them so she is still be flexible...she needs some of the 2 weeks, Idon't think she asked for all 2 weeks.

I have never had issues with vacation time when I have asked for it. Her taking off 3 days before her DSs wedding isnt going to stop the business. I have had things pop up and needed off.

Ok..I take it back. I did have one boss ask me if I could put off a biopsy once I was only taking 1 or 2 days off btw.

 

[kwelch10377]

I really don't know of a single job position where an employee can use his or her vacation days anytime they want. DH has never even taken off more than a single week, and he gets tons of vacation time. Telling an empoyer that you are going to take a two week vacation, in two weeks, is crazy.

I have taken 2 weeks at one time, but I also gave my boss more than 6 months notice. My boss pretty good about vacation time, I have given her 2 days notice on taking 1 vacation day, but I would never give her just 2 weeks notice for mutiple days off.

I know the original poster is upset about the situation, but I think is WAY over reacting on the responses given. I did not see anyone being nasty or negative, we just asked questions and commented on the information provided. I am not sure why people post here sometimes if they aren't prepared for a variety of questions and comments.

 

[ilovesugar]

First of all she didn't just ask, they knew all along she needed time off. She askd them what would work for them so she is still be flexible...she needs some of the 2 weeks, Idon't think she asked for all 2 weeks.

I have never had issues with vacation time when I have asked for it. Her taking off 3 days before her DSs wedding isnt going to stop the business. I have had things pop up and needed off.

Ok..I take it back. I did have one boss ask me if I could put off a biopsy once I was only taking 1 or 2 days off btw.

She should have been specific as to what days she needed off when she had the original conversation, not left it up to them. I am sure that her sons wedding is down on their priority scale so to leave it up to them was a mistake. They are her bosses, not really her friends so I am sure they were not even thinking about it.

And like I said, going to the other owner is just going to make things 100% worse. You don't go behind one bosses back like that, you just don't.

 

[mtemm]

just read the op and I don't see where the boss said she didn't give enough notice, that is why she isn't giving the time. actually, the way it reads is he is disputing her having any paid vacation time at all. I would address that pronto!

op, I'm sorry you are so stressed. personally I understand wanting to take that week off. yes, I agree with others that I would have approached it with my boss with firm dates as soon as I knew the wedding dates.

I know you said you are done with this thread, but if you are still looking for input on what to do going forward, I would schedule a meeting with both bosses immediately. I would want to find out what is the official policy regarding taking paid vacation time and find out when this time is allowed to be taken, and exactly why now is not a good time. Is there a particular reason that makes that week less possible for them than the following week?

it seems to me that yes, this is a tough economy and empolyees need to do what they can to hold on to the jobs they have. at the same time, it is more cost effective and in general wiser for an employer to keep a good employee than it is to let them go if/when its possible.

just seems like there is something else going on here, something you may not be aware of.

good luck!

 

[scrapbookworm]

Sounds to me like the OP was waiting on the bosses to ask her how much time she needed (b/c she had already mentioned it to them), and bosses were waiting on her to tell them closer to the date how much time she needed. A wedding is a big deal to the people involved, but not to the company you work for. I think that the OP should have approached the bosses again about 2 months ago, not 2 weeks before the date.

And if you have done so much and are that valuable, well, that is probably working against you on taking off a lot of time, lol. Believe me, I have BTDT with my previous job. I couldn't even take my own child to the doctor- I always had to get DH or a grandparent to. Because I absolutely could not miss a day of work- that is how overloaded I was. Key phrase here being "previous job", lol.

I couldn't tell from the thread if she was wanting to take off 2 weeks in a row (I thought I saw it mentioned somewhere). If so, and I speak from first hand experience working for a small company (I'm the only office worker, so the only person who can do payroll, etc), I can't take off 2 weeks in a row. The only time I did was for major surgery.

Maybe the boss was just blowing off steam when he said that she could take time off without pay. It might be in reaction to being approached close to the date.

FWIW, I'm not flaming, I'm just talking, and giving some advice on how to help prevent a future situation like this.

Good luck!