Need some advice

[Serena]

When you feel like your life is out of control, what can you do to get some sort of feeling of control back? I need some suggestions.

 

[amid chaos]

Serena..this is going to sound so cliche, but I believe it works....be good to yourself...both emotionally and physically and I promise you will begin to feel better about things happening around you and how you approach them. Be well! (((HUGS)))

 

[Crankyshank]

I usually pick something small to change that I know I can control. Like coloring my hair or planting something or even getting a haircut.

Once I feel re-charged, it's easier for me to take that extra breath and deal with the situation

 

[Pop Daddy]

whats wrong

 

[mommytotwo]

I look at my daughter and know that I have to be strong and keep trying for her.
I also try to get myself organized. I like to plan things, so knowing what needs to be done when, and such really helps me.

 

[orvilleair]

Sometimes, hard exercise. Jog/run and build up a good sweat. Good stress release and release of endorphins.

Sometimes peace and quiet. Nice long hike, sitting at a picnic table at the marina and watch the boats or drive to the airplane viewing area and watch the planes take off. Especially the airport one, a lot of people park on this gravel lot and I couldn't believe the amount of people. A lot of them were pondering like I was.

Try and set a few goals and go for it. Best wishes


----------------------------------
Scott

 

[Mercy]

I find prayer works for me and focusing on the things that are really important and good in my life instead of the things that I feel are out of control.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I keep busy. Clean a lot and think. Clean alot and not think.

Stay on the go. Call friends and family and try not to talk about what's bothering me. Takes your mind off your troubles when you listen about someone else's life. Sometimes I do talk about what's troubling me to get another perspective. Organize stuff. Write lists of things that need to be done, things I need to get and plan some things that I can accomplish fairly easily.

(Sometimes I sing that little song from Nemo- What was the name of that fish that sung it??? "... Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming..." I drive myself nuts. )

Pamering as someone stated is a good thing too.

Hope things turn around for you.

 

[Serena]

Thank you for the advice and suggestions. It gives me something to go on.

Jason, I don't know. It's everything and nothing. It's a scary feeling.

 

[Margie J]

I agree with Amid, be good to yourself. If that means saying no to certain things or people right now it must be done.

Set priorities. Take time out to think about what is out of control in your life, why, can you do anything to really change it and how important it honestly is. When I was considering a career change and my head was spinning with ideas the Counselor told me to take each idea and write everything I felt about it. It could probably work for other issues in life as well. Forcing me to focus on each item instead of the confusing mix was helpful.

If there are things you can delegate to others, do it. It may feel odd at first but if you select people you can trust it is ultimately freeing.

If there are situations you can't easily control or give up then first find a small thing that will make you feel better, as suggested by crankyshank.

 

[Pop Daddy]

Originally posted by Serena


Jason, I don't know. It's everything and nothing. It's a scary feeling.

I bet its a combonation divorce and daughter leaving, either one of them would be hard let alone both at the same time. Things will get better







long post

 

[OceanAnnie]

Boy. Pop Daddy you hit the nail on the head, I bet.

If that's the case, I'd rearrange the furniture and redecorate some too. Some simple changes. Splashes of color. Maybe some new flowers and/or plants.

I think it would be helpful to give yourself a room or two to signify new beginings.

Create some new rituals. It will help keep your mind off what you would be doing with someone else. Try some new things. Plan a vacation with a friend, family member, or solo. It'll give you something to look forward to.

Hang in there!

 

[Saffron]

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ maybe.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Wow, Jason!! I bet you're right also! When I feel like that I call my friends. I start with one. When we have to hang up, I usually don't feel too much better. I call another one. After a couple people, I usually feel a lot better. If still not, I call another.

 

[AZKathy]

I feel the same way. Big hug to you, Laurie!<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_2_104.gif' border=0></a>

 

[Serena]

Jason is always right, didn't you all know that already?

Actually, that is a big part of it. Maybe if that wasn't bothering me, other things wouldn't bother me so much.
But yes, it's that and much more. Part of which, I'm calling the doctor on monday to do something about.

Any other suggestions on how to feel more in control of my life?

And thank you all

 

[vettechick99]

talk things out with someone who won't judge you and will give you complete emotional support. that means stay away from my mother.

but when i'm feeling really stressed, I take a nap and when I wake up, I've sorta forgotten what I was so stressed about. doesn't always work, but at least I'm in a state of mind where I can think calmly.

we're all here for ya!

 

[NMAmy]

Oh, Serena, I'm sorry for your situation. I don't know the details but I'm wishing the best for you.

When I got divorced, one thing I did that made me feel great for awhile was to buy a really girly comforter and sheets. I found some on clearance because, frankly, I was broke--but it made me feel so much better. My ex had always bought these really ugly geometric patterned comforters with dark colors--I hated that. You might try to replace something that you never liked.

I also went through a situation in January where my DD (13) decided to stay with her dad in NM after Christmas vacation. She had some problems with girls in school and her dad made her feel guilty so she decided to stay and I decided to let her try it. She just came home in May to stay (hooray!) but it broke my heart at the time. I was so depressed because my dad had just died the year before and I'm still not really over that. One thing that helped was to write in a journal. I wanted to say some hurtful things that I really couldn't say to DD or to anyone else. Just temper tantrum, pity party stuff that I wasn't comfortable telling anyone. It helped to get it out of my system--then I was able to see what I needed to do and just carry on until she came back.

I hope some of this is helpful to you, Serena. My very best wishes to you.