There are definitley more options than the two presented, and they don't look sunny, given the particulars of the situation.
Yes, but I was going for two extremes. Of course dozens and dozens of variations could exist in between these two.
Someone told me before I was married that after a few years everything I thought was cute and endearing about my husband would become annoying.
That's true. Doesn't mean I want to get rid of him, but those same little quirks are maddening.
I used to be convinced that things had to be a VERY SPECIFIC way in my life. They didn't turn out that way. It came to the point where I had to accept that, and now, I am very happy even though my dreams didn't come true just the way I pictured.
When I was younger, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted! About half of the things I felt were "must dos, must haves, etc." have happened, while about half have changed. But my life at mid-40 is BETTER than I envisioned.
Ask your FI to give his part of the house to his brothers.
The problem is that the house has NEGATIVE EQUITY. It is worth LESS than they owe; thus, he'd really be saying, "Here, brothers, take on my share of this debt." Would you really treat your family that way?
Now, if you truly truly loved the man like you say you do, money would not be an issue, so that's where the doubt comes in.
Sorry but this is WRONG. I truly loved my 2nd husband and wanted it to all work but after 3-4 years of him not contributing financially in any significant way to the marriage, I had had enough. One mule pulling the cart alone gets mighty damned tired. As my friend says "I can be poor and miserable without having to drag you behind me".
I totally agree. Love is an emotion, and emotions vary. Even in a good marriage, there are times when it's all about each other and you're having a fantastic time . . . and there are times when other things take center stage (i.e, when you have a newborn, or when work's tough), and you don't forget each other -- not at all -- but you're not necessarily head-over-heels, thinking about each other every minute, calling on your breaks just to hear his voice, staying up late together, etc. And there are times when things are just plain bad -- maybe because you're fighting, maybe because outside influences have encroached on your lives. Sometimes love is pushed to the back burner, and that's when some people give up the marriage and call it quits rather than realizing that it's just part of the ebb and flow. You cannot count on emotion alone to keep a marriage going. Love alone is not enough.
To me, with the house in the dire situation it is now, I'd file for bankruptcy. It would push the lawsuit forward and go ahead and get it out of the way.
I don't think they have to declare bankruptcy. I think they just need to allow it to be foreclosed. I'm not saying it's a great choice, but they seem to be living on a sinking ship.
The smartest thing they could do (maybe not the most moral thing) is to each go find an apartment or other living arrangement NOW -- NOW before the house "goes" -- but make the move-in date 4 months from now. Sign a lease before the credit takes a hit. Stop paying the mortgage and PUT AWAY every penny that would've gone to the mortgage. When the house is lost, walk away without fighting it. Since they OWE more than the house is worth, they'll be relieved of a bad debt, and though they seem to be operating under the idea that they could someday, potentially make a profit on this house, it's time to give up that dream.
