Need Opinion - Do you think this is cheating

[kwelch10377]

So I was having a conversation with one of my male friends and told him about a situation and I was very surprised that he did not think it was cheating.

So there is a girl and a guy who have know each other for 10 years, never romantically involved, however over the course of their friendship both have admitted that they had feelings for the other person, for one reason or another they haven't been able to get their act together see what would happen if they got together. One thing that puts a glitch in things is that they live 300 miles about (but it wasn't always the case)

So since last summer they have been talking through facebook and texting. She found out in Oct that he was seeing someone and that brought her to confess her feelings about him (for the second time, the first was many years ago). He is still seeing this girl (I don't see him and his girlfriend getting to the marriage point or anything bc she is 21 and is in college and he is 30 and has made mention more than once to the friend that marriage and kids aren't even on the radar)

So anyway the girl and the guy still talk all the time, mostly through texting. Their conversation are typically of the sexual nature and would consider it "sexting" and there is frequent picture exchange to go along with the texting covnersations. There is also talk of "when we get together" and he frequently says "when I am single again". The whole situation is a whole different story.......

Now my male friend does not think this is cheating. He says since there are no emotions involved (he example was saying things like I miss you or I love you) that they are just having some fun. Now he is married and "claims" that he would be ok with his wife "sexting" someone else because she is just being human and having fun.

What do you guys think?.......I think most woman would think that it is cheating, but I wonder what some guys think.

 

[pyrxtc]

I don't think it's cheating. neither of them are married or engaged so they are free to flirt or "sext" all they want. I flirt all the time but never too much.

 

[Rora]

CHEATING. Plain and simple.

 

[kwelch10377]

I could see where he would be coming from if there was no past history between the two of admitting their feelings OR if he wasn't in what I guess is a committed relationship, but just casually seeing someone. I have also seen the texts and they are pretty detailed and graphic, along with the pictures.

 

[SaraJayne]

If he has a girlfriend, yes, it's cheating on his part.

 

[rockydek]

If he can do this in front of his wife...Than its harmless ...No cheating.
I'm willing to bet he doesn't...Than I would call it cheating.

 

[Wishing on a star]

If the young girlfriend feels that she and this guy are in a 'relationship'... Yes, this is definitely, without a doubt, cheating!!!!!

If they are 'open', friends with benefits, both agree that they can look at other people, then, hey, whatever..... (not that could ever understand or agree.... but Hey, Whatever....)

I think that it is up to the young girlfriend to define if it is 'cheating' or not.... not you guys.

You only said that he was 'seeing someone'.

 

[sbell111]

Sexting is cheating.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

If I found out that my boyfriend were "sexting" with someone, he'd be single in a hurry!

Yes, this is cheating in my book.

 

[disykat]

I'm female, but I definitely say CHEATING.

I couldn't tell whether this was a married man or a man with a girlfriend (you said both ) but either way, if you are IN a relationship you shouldn't be having another one too. He has both an emotional and a sexual relationship with this "friend."

 

[kwelch10377]

If the young girlfriend feels that she and this guy are in a 'relationship'... Yes, this is definitely, without a doubt, cheating!!!!!

If they are 'open', friends with benefits, both agree that they can look at other people, then, hey, whatever..... (not that could ever understand or agree.... but Hey, Whatever....)

I think that it is up to the young girlfriend to define if it is 'cheating' or not.... not you guys.

You only said that he was 'seeing someone'.

I am pretty certain they are in a relationship. I think the girl and the guy both realize that they are cheating.

 

[bigbabyblues]

Cheating

 

[cteddiesgirl]

This is cheating. It doesn't matter if there really aren't any emotions involved or not.

Now my male friend does not think this is cheating. He says since there are no emotions involved (he example was saying things like I miss you or I love you) that they are just having some fun. Now he is married and "claims" that he would be ok with his wife "sexting" someone else because she is just being human and having fun.

What do you guys think?.......I think most woman would think that it is cheating, but I wonder what some guys think.

So he wouldn't think that a person having actual sex with someone, having no feelings involved, just having fun as cheating?

It's the same difference. They just aren't actually touching.

 

[kwelch10377]

I'm female, but I definitely say CHEATING.

I couldn't tell whether this was a married man or a man with a girlfriend (you said both ) but either way, if you are IN a relationship you shouldn't be having another one too. He has both an emotional and a sexual relationship with this "friend."

The guy involved in the sexting is not married, but in a relationship. The girl is single. The guy I was talking to, who says it isn't cheating is married.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

If he can do this in front of his wife...Than its harmless ...No cheating.
I'm willing to bet he doesn't...Than I would call it cheating.

ITA.

 

[minniecarousel]

I can't get past the "they've known each other for 10 years" yet she's only 21?!

 

[kwelch10377]

I can't get past the "they've known each other for 10 years" yet she's only 21?!

The guys girlfriend is 21....the girl he is friends/sexting with is 32.

 

[nmmom95]

Totally cheating.

 

[Scurvy]

If his girlfriend is under the impression that they are in a committed, exclusive relationship and they haven't specifically discussed situations like this being acceptable within their relationship then I would definitely consider it cheating. If he was my boyfriend and I found out he was doing something like that he'd be free to pursue the other girl, because I'd be breaking up with him immediately.

 

[Mermaid02]

CHEATING. Plain and simple.

If he has a girlfriend, yes, it's cheating on his part.

If he can do this in front of his wife...Than its harmless ...No cheating.
I'm willing to bet he doesn't...Than I would call it cheating.

Sexting is cheating.

If I found out that my boyfriend were "sexting" with someone, he'd be single in a hurry!

Yes, this is cheating in my book.

I'm female, but I definitely say CHEATING.

I couldn't tell whether this was a married man or a man with a girlfriend (you said both ) but either way, if you are IN a relationship you shouldn't be having another one too. He has both an emotional and a sexual relationship with this "friend."

I am pretty certain they are in a relationship. I think the girl and the guy both realize that they are cheating.

Cheating

This is cheating. It doesn't matter if there really aren't any emotions involved or not.



So he wouldn't think that a person having actual sex with someone, having no feelings involved, just having fun as cheating?

It's the same difference. They just aren't actually touching.

Totally cheating.

As they all said, it's cheating!