Need Help

[Lesverts]

Ok, so planning trips for other people is easy. But when it is time for your to be apart of the big group. Things go sideways right quick.

So the basics.

I'll be there for two weeks; April 24 to May 7.
Brother, SIL, Niece (3), Mom, Dad will arrive April 30
Brother's SIL, Husband, 3 kids (13, 11, 4) and SIL's parents will arrive May 2.

Dealing with 5 primary issues:

Never toured with young children, no one believes me that they will need a stroller for the 3 and 4 y/o.
Mom has mobility and stamina issues, won't rent a scooter
Myself, and my direct family have more financial ability then my Brother's in-law family. My parents won't want to sacrifice the extras, character meals and resort to be together with the rest of the group
Parts of the travel group want to stay together the whole time, I am vehemently opposed to this. I hate the giant 10+ people groups that roam the parks in packs.
There has been a previous trip with many of the same people in a much less stressful environment. It didn't end well.

Plus I feel like a you-know-what for just wanting the whole thing to fall through.

 

[Keels]

I don't really have much to offer other than good luck and best wishes.

Personally, when it comes to trips like this, the only way I've been able to guarantee even the slightest bit of "me time" is to stay at a resort away from the group AND to schedule things independently (meals, things I want to do, etc.) - and then stick to my guns when it comes time for me to do what I want to do.

For instance, I don't do breakfast. Ever. Brunch? Totally different story. But I'm not waking up at 6:30 a.m. for a meal - there's just no way. BUT - I'm pretty transparent with the people I'm traveling with that, while they're more than welcome to do what they want including that breakfast, I will not be joining.

I would also start practicing how to fend off guilt trips now - you've got time to build up a pretty thick skin to the complaining that you're being a pain by not wanting to be with the group all the time.

The one thing you might be able to work on is your mom and the scooter thing. Show her maps, outline how much walking and standing in line will be done, and then tell her how many companies rent out scooters - she may be worried that she'll be in the minority in the park on one.

 

[DrunkJam]

It is *possible* they will be OK without a stroller, but, t depends how much walking the toddlers regularly do? I took my 4yr old and we didn't use one, but he was used to walking a LOT (like a few miles a day lot - we don't drive ANYWHERE)

Financials / character meals / pack roaming etc, work it out BEFORE you go. Don't argue about it once you are there. Draw up a schedule if you have to

 

[msminnieears]

By the middle of day one, they will go back to the front and rent that stroller/scooter!

 

[Klayfish]

Yeah...good luck with that...

Besides my wife and kids, I have no family whatsoever, and my wife has very little family...and they live 800 miles away, so we don't see them much. Her sister had made mention last February that they were "considering" coming down to WDW at the same time we were going to be there for our summer vacation. Both my wife and I but the lid on that one real quickly. We have zero interest in doing WDW with anyone else.

 

[DisneyWishes14]

I've planned for extended family before and this is what I would do. Let parents pick their resort, let brother-in-law's family pick their resort. It sounds like it will be different resorts and that may be for the best (if the last trip didn't end well. People need their space and that's not a bad thing). If you are the main planner, I would pick one park, per day, pick the 3 FP+ for that day for everyone and, perhaps, schedule 1 TS per day. That way, everyone is together for 3 rides and 1 meal (and if anyone wants to bail on any of those, no biggie. Once you are there, people can change their FP+ and if a few people don't show up for an ADR, you won't be charged a no-show). If you plan 1 TS per day, you may want to consider adding the regular dining plan to all of the reservations if people can afford it. That way, no matter the budget, everyone could attend that TS. All other parts of the day are "do what you want". I wouldn't press the stroller or ECV issues. If those families discover they need ECV's or strollers once they get there, they can rent them in the parks (some stores even have umbrella strollers for sale) or even try to get an outside company to deliver last minute. I wouldn't take that on as your responsibility. As the planner, I would do daily park choice, FP+ and ADR's and that is it!

 

[scrapquitler]

Ok, so planning trips for other people is easy. But when it is time for your to be apart of the big group. Things go sideways right quick.

So the basics.

I'll be there for two weeks; April 24 to May 7.
Brother, SIL, Niece (3), Mom, Dad will arrive April 30
Brother's SIL, Husband, 3 kids (13, 11, 4) and SIL's parents will arrive May 2.

Dealing with 5 primary issues:

Never toured with young children, no one believes me that they will need a stroller for the 3 and 4 y/o.
Mom has mobility and stamina issues, won't rent a scooter
Myself, and my direct family have more financial ability then my Brother's in-law family. My parents won't want to sacrifice the extras, character meals and resort to be together with the rest of the group
Parts of the travel group want to stay together the whole time, I am vehemently opposed to this. I hate the giant 10+ people groups that roam the parks in packs.
There has been a previous trip with many of the same people in a much less stressful environment. It didn't end well.

Plus I feel like a you-know-what for just wanting the whole thing to fall through.

Run. Run fast and run far.

Don't you have that important thing on May 1 that you have to be in Seattle for?? Darn, you never realized it was the same week.

But seriously, this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Somebody is going to have to bend or it's going to be miserable.

On the plus side: The parents can rent a stroller in the park after the little ones melt down the first day, and Mom will either decide to take it slower and hang back or she'll get a scooter. And since you are familiar with the parks, you might be able to lose the rest of the pack now and then.

One suggestion: maybe you (or your parents) could be really generous at Christmas and offer to pay for ONE character meal or something in lieu of Christmas gifts if your parents really are adamant about everyone participating in that sort of thing.

 

[Pats Dragon]

First you should sit down with the adults together and list each one's priorities. Let everyone make some decisions. Suggest rest time for older and younger people. Plan 1 big meal together (not character) . We had 13 of us at Biergarten which turned out great. Obviously there will be different ideas about itinerary and that is when you realistically say that going separate ways is only thing to do. Soarin is fun to ride together. We fit exactly in 1 row. Letting everyone make their own decisions will make for a good trip. You are right about scooter and stroller but everyone has to see this for themselves. When they do see how tired they and the small children they can choose to rent at that time. Good luck.

 

[lborne]

The only way I do large groups (meaning 1 more than me, DW and our 2 kids) is if I've already resigned myself to the fact that I will get to do a max of 2 attractions per day, AND I have to just sit back and be quiet. I get too stressed when everyone is huddled together debating what to do next - eat, ride SM, ride the parking lot tram again because it was so awesome, someone forgot their sunscreen and we need to find a shop to buy some NOW before we get cancer, mother in laws hang nail is killing her and she needs to sit a while, the moon is about to rise and Billy has not taken his anti-warewolf medication that is back at the resort - so everyone just wait here and we will be back in a minute. As for the stroller and scooter, yes, you can rent those afterwards - but some people are just plain stubborn and would rather hobble along, complain and share the misery. What I tend to do is just hang back from the crowd deliberately out of hearing range. There are a couple of things you can do. First, take breaks from the group. Announce that you need a Dole Whip and tell the group the only place to get it is the Polynesian and you will meet back up later. Cells phones make this easy. Then you can take an hour or so to do something alone. Second, at least one day to give yourself a longer break - do a Ferris Bueller and play sick. Then, when everyone is gone, just hang out by the pool or go to a different park by yourself. Is there anyone you can confide in and they can be sick too? Its not ideal, but it will give you the mental break you need. If you do it early, maybe the group will learn some lessons on their own and mature a bit. Good luck.

 

[Disney Khaleesi]

Make arrangements for yourself and tell your family that you will be happy to tour with them at this time, and then you'd like to be separate during this time. Reiterate your suggestions once more, but if they choose not to take your advice, then let that be on them. Don't try and bend yourself backwards for these people for a trip that already has the makings of a disaster.

 

[DisneyWorldbuff]

Yikes.... I would try to enjoy the period of time with just you and your family prior to the rest of the clans arrival. Make those days count and do all the things that you and your family enjoys the most at WDW. Know that the end of the trip will not go smoothly and look back at those first few days with fondness. But really, adjust your expectation(sounds like you already are) and try to have fun. Good luck!

 

[Bob Dolewhip]

If you are the main planner I think it helps if you ask everyone for a list of the top 3 things that they would most like to do and then also 3 things that would make them unhappy on vacation. I am the main planner for my group with little opposition so its easier for me...
You may want to get all the opinions and then have a family meeting.
I love the previous poster's idea of doing three fast passes and one family meal together per day.that is a good amount of togetherness tempered with lots of space and flexibility.
I would keep in mind that the little ones are better human beings in the early part of the day and they seem to enjoy destroying your best made plans and schedules. "Oh we have an impossible to get ADR? I have to go potty!"