Need Help Re: Overspending

[agotta]

Ok, for those who remember, I posted a while back about spending $500 last month on nothing (going out to eat, DVD's etc.) So I was just updating the buget and so far this month we have already spent $200! No better than last month and I am really upset. Dh and I are hoping to buy a house and start a family within the next year, but I need to pay off some bills if we are ever going to do it. Can you share your words of wisdom on how not to do this? I budget for DH to get $50 a month to spend as he will and I am running my own business at home, so I spend a little bit there, but other than that I don't allot for money to be spent on non-neccessities. Yes we are going on vacation in January but I rented our DVC points to pay for airfare and a package w/dining. HELP!

 

[ElizaB39]

Hello! We have just started to "hammer down" on expenses this month. No spending allowed! That is just what you have to do; and that means NO DVDs, NO MOVIE RENTALS, NO NOTHING!). There are just the two of you, so no unexpected kid expenses allowed . We are not going to blockbuster, the pizza place, no new movies, books or music. Also it sounds like you are not allocating enough blow money. For this month you are already at 200 but DH only has 50 to spend. Does this mean you have spent 150? or has he just gone over? or a combination of both?

Take the cash for blow money out one time per week, or one time per month, and spend only that cash. No ATMs except for when you get the month's cash spending out of the bank. No debit card at any stores, take the cash out of the bank and use the cash. I allow 200 per month for DH and I each. I usually get the kid expenses. I have taken out 120 so far and I have about 14 left from that. That includes a haircut for me (45), appraisal for new jewelry received as a gift (35), beer for guests (10), mouthguard for DS (6) snacks and lunch for me (5.50), unexpected cash donation at church (5).

I am tracking EVERY SINGLE RECEIPT. DH keeps asking me, "how much do I get each month? What am I at right now?" This is new for us so we have to be DILIGENT! Oh, I also have to come up with kid allowances from my money, there goes another 20 so far from my cash. Guess I need to hit the bank again. *sheesh* it never ends. I also have a 200 cushion in the budget to allow for those things I didn't think about (allowance) and will reevaluate at the end of this month and redo any line items necessary.

 

[agotta]

Well right now we can only afford to put $1000 in the savings account, so upping Dh's $50 to $200 seems like a lot. We used to get $50 each, but I figure this new business is costing me around $100-$200 a month so that is my "free spending" money. I know we need to be more diligent too, about not going out to eat or buying extras.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

so what did you spend the money on? How "unneccessary" were the expenditures? How are you paying? Cash? Debit Card? Checkbook? Credit Card?

What works for me -- #1 Stay out of stores. Grocery shop from a list as little as possible. Impulse buys can kill you and the best way to avoid them is to stay away from the merchandise. Repeat after me -- the mall is evil, the mall is evil, the mall is evil.

#2 If you have to buy something, find a cheaper way to do it. Do you need a new black skirt? Check Goodwill, they have racks of them. Want a new book? Library, used book store, Amazon used book sellers.

#3 Never impulse buy. If you see something in a store that you must have, challenge yourself to find it cheaper. Wait at least 2 days. Look around your house of all the knicknacks, books, STUFF that you have accumulated. How much of it have you even touched in the last month? Remind yourself that at one time, you had to have that stuff also. Do you REALLY need the newest thing?

#4 If you have to eat out, find a cheaper alternative. Instead of Applebees, go to Wendy's. If you have freezer space, prepare a couple of casseroles that can be heated pretty easily. That can cut down on the "no food in the house, must eat out" habit.

#5 For every new toy you buy, challenge yourself to find one similar value thing in your house that can be sold on EBAY or donated to charity for a tax deduction.

 

[hmgolden]

The thing that has worked the best for DH and I has been making a big effort not to leave the house unless absolutely necessary. We try to combine all our weekly errands into one trip, and we don't leave home without a list. If its not on the list, we don't buy it. This has helped us a lot on avoiding impulse items, and has helped cut the meals out. Granted we still find ways to 'blow' some money still each month, but we have managed to make a dramatic decrease in our spending.

 

[gemjoy]

I really wish I could offer some advice.... unfortunately ~ I have the same problem. My money trees out back are getting kinda bare time to plant a few more!!

 

[nuke]

Maybe your budget is just unrealistic for your family. Look at what the money was spent on not how much was spent. If it was for gas, or food, or stuff whatever. You need to see what you are spending the money on and then you can see where you can cut back. Right now our gas budget is blown but what can we do? I have to rethink how much I am budgeting for gas and take it out of something else.

 

[can'twait]

I agree, the mall is EVIL! I only go there to Christmas shop!

I also agree with buy only what you NEED and what you came there to get.

I just bought 2 cd's that I waited 3 months to buy, and I got them on e-bay, saving about $8 off what I would have paid for them on Amazon.

Delayed gratification is the key. I think lack of it is the root of many of our financial woes.

I also kept a log of what we spent in a month in cash for about 6 months. It was ridiculous.

Good luck!

 

[agotta]

Thanks for all the advice. I just sat down and re-figured out the budget. Dh and I are equally guilty as far as over spending. In the past 2 week I have seen Best Buy on bank statement 4 times!! On the other hand it was my idea to go out to dinner last night. I changed misc. money to $150 a month, a bit more realistic. I guess things like haircuts and extras come out of this. I am not shooting to spend $150, but more realistically just adding it to the budgt. It looks like I can afford to set aside around $800 a month. I think if I put half toward debt and have in a savings account we should be good. Any more advice is greatly appreciated!!

 

[CarolA]

I really think there are two problems here

One you need to track it in real time not "after the fact" so you have to get in the habit of writing it down as you spend it DAILY, not totaling it up every so often

Two, $50 a month??? Unless you are in severe finanical distress and BOTH of you agree to this that seems really restrictive. You say "I buget for DH to get $50 a month" Did he agree to this or was this your idea? Now I see that you are giving yourelf $150... is DH still on $50 or is the $150 a month for two of you. I know that I could do that, but I am not willing to so.... maybe the truth is that you and DH aren't either. You may just be setting yourself up for failure. I actually give myself an allowance of $100 a week. I try to keep track of where it goes and there is usually money left over on Friday but....

 

[agotta]

I really think there are two problems here

One you need to track it in real time not "after the fact" so you have to get in the habit of writing it down as you spend it DAILY, not totaling it up every so often

Two, $50 a month??? Unless you are in severe finanical distress and BOTH of you agree to this that seems really restrictive. You say "I buget for DH to get $50 a month" Did he agree to this or was this your idea? Now I see that you are giving yourelf $150... is DH still on $50 or is the $150 a month for two of you. I know that I could do that, but I am not willing to so.... maybe the truth is that you and DH aren't either. You may just be setting yourself up for failure. I actually give myself an allowance of $100 a week. I try to keep track of where it goes and there is usually money left over on Friday but....

I do keep track on a daily basis, but you are right, it is after I have spent the money. I guess that doesn't do any good!!

We had agreed on a budget of $100 a month for free spending. We do have quiet a bit of personal debt that we are trying to pay off and this way we can put the money away toward that. Once I started my own business I didn't think it was fair to be spending my $50 on fun stuff and money on the business ($100-$200), so I told DH he could keep his $50 and I just wouldn't spend any.

Yes I realized $50 is quite restrictive, so I upped it to $150. Dh still gets his $50 to do whatever with (DVD's ) and the extra $100 is for all the misc. stuff, but again I am trying not to spend this.

We really want to buy a house and start a family within the next year so I really want to pay off some bills and get some money in a savings account. Dh works with me at this, but the bank account and budget are primarily my responsibility. It's not like I told him, here is your $50 allowance and you get no more. It is something we decided on together.

 

[Lyn5]

I find that cleaning/organizing my home yeilds a lot of savings. How many times have I bought something like vanilla extract thinking I was running low and I already had two in the cupboard? Same idea goes for a lot of other things in your home. Every so often I pick a room and clean it. I organize my closet and find clothing I forgot I had since I tend to use the same outfits when they are in the front. I clean out the kids' rooms and find toys or shoes that were gifts I put in the closet until they grew...well now it is the right size for them, but unless I went into their rooms I would not have found them and would be buying new shoes. In my pantry I just organized my shelves last night and found a bunch of dry goods I could use for dinners and lunches.

 

[disneymom3]

I find that cleaning/organizing my home yeilds a lot of savings. How many times have I bought something like vanilla extract thinking I was running low and I already had two in the cupboard? Same idea goes for a lot of other things in your home. Every so often I pick a room and clean it. I organize my closet and find clothing I forgot I had since I tend to use the same outfits when they are in the front. I clean out the kids' rooms and find toys or shoes that were gifts I put in the closet until they grew...well now it is the right size for them, but unless I went into their rooms I would not have found them and would be buying new shoes. In my pantry I just organized my shelves last night and found a bunch of dry goods I could use for dinners and lunches.

Lyn--I was just commenting to a friend of mine that it is very expensive to be disorganized. Think of it, library books that don't get returned on time, bills that are paid late because they were misplaced, lost STUFF like your vanilla extract example. I bought DD a bright pink shirt last night--she just started school after being homeschooled for 3 years, so I do want her to feel good in her clothes--but then on the way home I started thinking that I swear she has a shirt almost exactly the same color. Now, granted it doesn't have that little charm on it, it's just a Tshirt, but it matches the skorts I bought the other one to go with. Can I find it????? NO!

Lately, I have not been doing well on expenses either, agotta. It is tough to change those habits. I was doing really well for quite awhile and then lately it's crash and burn. Planning planning planning is the key! I just have to make myself turn that key in the lock!

 

[crisi]

What's your business and is it profitable?

New business are - as you are discovering - expensive to get going. People start them either when they have resources, or when they are completely stuck. Realistically, most of them NEVER become profitable. This may be drastic, but perhaps you need to critically think through "can I afford to start this business right now." Even a low paying job is more profitable than an unprofitable business (unless you are using the business as a tax loss to offset some other gains or some such deal).

 

[dawnball]

I do keep track on a daily basis, but you are right, it is after I have spent the money. I guess that doesn't do any good!!

Once a day ought to be often enough. However - what do you do when you're at budget for the month? You know DH has spent his $50, you've spent your $0 (more on that later). What do you do? In our house, we stop spending then. If we really want something - we take something back we bought earlier in the month. Or we sell something we don't use. But more money doesn't just materialize out of thin air.

We had agreed on a budget of $100 a month for free spending. We do have quiet a bit of personal debt that we are trying to pay off and this way we can put the money away toward that. Once I started my own business I didn't think it was fair to be spending my $50 on fun stuff and money on the business ($100-$200), so I told DH he could keep his $50 and I just wouldn't spend any.

So, have you *ever* managed not to spend any personal money? That's really hard to do for any length of time, especially if you're including things like haircuts in there. Sometimes you need something to eat when you're out. If there's no budget, then there isn't much incentive to be frugal vs get a fancy salad, a diet coke, maybe a frosty...... Or you need something nice to wear. A budget is often the difference between getting a fun top to wear with basic black vs a new skirt, which needs a top, and none of my shoes are quite right, and I need new lingerie....

Yes I realized $50 is quite restrictive, so I upped it to $150. Dh still gets his $50 to do whatever with (DVD's ) and the extra $100 is for all the misc. stuff, but again I am trying not to spend this.

I think that until you decide what's covered by this money and what isn't, and you have a way to stop spending when you've hit your budgeted number that you can set it at $5 or $5000 and it won't change your spending habits.

How do you manage not to spend more than your budgetted amount for any budget category? Food? Clothing? Toilet paper? Those are the techniues to apply here. If you don't have any method for those, then I suggest you go to all cash for discretionary spending. Once you're out of cash, you're out. It's hard to overspend if all you carry is cash.

 

[agotta]

Dawnball- Thanks for all the great words of wisdom. It is definitely something I have to think about. You are right, I don't really pay attention to what I spend. I just spend. I really want to stick to this new budget. If the money spent is at the limit of the budget, then I will spend no more.

crisi- I am a Disney TA part time. I have only been up and running a few weeks. It is not profitable yet, but I am going to give it 6 months and see where it takes me. I am hoping in the next 6 months to at least break even. I want to be able to be a SAHM someday and this may allow me to do so in the future, while still having a realible income.

We went grocery shopping tonight and stayed right on budget. I cut coupons and used Grocery Game (although I am still not sold) and we saved $36. I know it is going to take a lot of hard work and you all have helped tremendously!

 

[mudnuri]

You really need to decide what category everything goes in.

Is a haircut an "extra"? Might be in your budget planning, but in others its budgetted in. I know, that my girls get there hair cut sept/jan/may. I also know thats $35 each time they go.

We get our nails done, is that an "extra"? Not in my budget, its written down...I budget for the $14 french manicure even though sometimes I only get the $7 color change. These are my nails, so i dont pay for fills, etc. The girls get there nails done usually 1/2 as often as me, as I generally go when they are at there fathers. It's also $5 for them each. Which I plan on 1x a month for them

My Coffee addiction. Thats budgetted, even though it is an extra. I know what I spend on coffee on what days. It changes for me, as 3 days a week im in school, so I buy one just before I get to the campus.

My budget has birthdays in for each month (for those we buy for) and it also has an extra $50 in the "birthday" fund for birthday parties my girls are invited to etc.

Christmas, I know approx what i'll spend, sometimes less, usually more. But knowing this, I always budget lower, knowing i'm going to go over.

I am not in debt currently, but have been, and will be again soon. I am going back to school, and basically living off student loans for the duration. That combined with child support, and a every other weekend waitress job is what I've got. Its hard to budget with a waitress job as it all depends on tips etc.

I did track my spending for 2 weeks, the dunkin donuts ladies looked at me funny when I asked for a receipt for a $2 cup of coffee, but in the end it gave me a very realistic look at what was going where, and just how much of it was really needed, and how much was just out of "want"...

We do not eat out much, but one thing I did have a habit of doing was not takign something out for dinner in the morning. Then running to the store and grabbing something to cook, even when my freezer was full etc. I have a post it note on my front door now that says "whats for dinner"...I know what we're having but I forget to pull it out.

I also agree with organizing your house. I cant tell you how many duplicates I've purchased and then found later. Now, inside my food cabinets, is a piece of paper with everything listed on it. As I take something out and use the entire contents (can of corn etc.) I cross it off. I use that list to make my grocery list, and have a good record of what we're actually eating that I'm buying. If we're not eating something (who bought that can of wonton soup??) I make sure not to buy more. etc.

good luck to you

Brandy

 

[Lyn5]

Now, inside my food cabinets, is a piece of paper with everything listed on it. As I take something out and use the entire contents (can of corn etc.) I cross it off. I use that list to make my grocery list, and have a good record of what we're actually eating that I'm buying. If we're not eating something (who bought that can of wonton soup??) I make sure not to buy more. etc.

good luck to you

Brandy

Having a list is a great idea, I think I may do that this weekend in my pantry and in my bathroom closet where I store tissues, toothpaste, etc.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Great tip...the local library. We get ALL of our videos and dvds there...never pay to rent (or worse yet, late fees). And anything that they don't have, they'll get for us from a different library.

Also, don't run through the Drve Thurs for "just a coffee" or a "quick bagel..." the at $2 here and $2 there will kill a budget every time.

Combine your errands to save on gas, too. These days that really adds up.

Your business stuff is all tax deductible, so make sure you keep track of all that. It will not help you right now, but you'll want it come tax time. Also, if you work out of your home, you can deduct part of your rent/mortgage. Make sure you have a good accountant to help with that in tax season.

There are some great SAHM threads on this board with lots of ideas that you can do that does not cost money to get started.

I would not consider haircuts as "extras"; they are necessities. However, maybe you can delay by a week or 2 and thus not have to get as many. Now manicures and perdicures...they are NOT necessities...LOL

BAN the mall, but you already know that one

Leave debit and credit cards out of your wallet...if you don't have 'em, you can't use 'em!

Good luck...we've all been there.

 

[Glenn]

Here's something else to consider. Normally eating in is cheaper but not all the time. I have a local grocery chain that offers a pretty good large pizza for $5 one day a week. Two can have a good dinner and a light lunch from it. So look for some specials like that. For a treat look at restaurant.com. Sometime you can buy $25 certificates for as little as $6. Not a thing you do all the time but an inexpensive treat if you have a good month. And if you do go out drink water and save the $2 coffee or soda. And as you pay down debt look at the rate your paying & pay off the highest rate first. Good luck.