Need help potty training!

[KrazeeK120]

So, here’s the situation. My son will be 3 at the end of October. He’s been potty trained for a little over a month (a few accidents here and there) except he refuses to go #2 in the toilet. I have tried talking to him about it, sitting with him, putting him on the toilet and leaving the room, letting him play with my phone, and buying new toys as rewards (which are currently still sitting unopened). But every day like clockwork, he waits until I put his pull up on at quiet/nap time and waits until he’s in his room by himself and then he goes (I still put him in a pull up at nap and night...nap is when he tends to have accidents still.)

I’m not worried, I’m just trying to figure out if/how I can get him over this hump. I’m a stay at home mom and he doesn’t “have” to be trained until he goes to preschool in a year. Should I just wait a bit and address it again later, maybe around the time he turns 3?

I’d appreciate any advice from seasoned pros!

 

[kimblebee]

So, here’s the situation. My son will be 3 at the end of October. He’s been potty trained for a little over a month (a few accidents here and there) except he refuses to go #2 in the toilet. I have tried talking to him about it, sitting with him, putting him on the toilet and leaving the room, letting him play with my phone, and buying new toys as rewards (which are currently still sitting unopened). But every day like clockwork, he waits until I put his pull up on at quiet/nap time and waits until he’s in his room by himself and then he goes (I still put him in a pull up at nap and night...nap is when he tends to have accidents still.)

I’m not worried, I’m just trying to figure out if/how I can get him over this hump. I’m a stay at home mom and he doesn’t “have” to be trained until he goes to preschool in a year. Should I just wait a bit and address it again later, maybe around the time he turns 3?

I’d appreciate any advice from seasoned pros!

How does he act when he poops in the pull up? Does it bother him at all? If it does, I’d wait a few minutes to change him..let him feel how uncomfortable it is. That might be the motivation he needs.

Other than that, I’d say try and catch him before he poops. Don’t make a game of it because now he sees potty time as phone time. Get him on the pot every hour on the hour and eventually he’ll go where he’s supposed to.

Good luck!

 

[wenrob]

Stop putting him in a pull up? I think you might be sending him a mixed message by using them. It seems he knows it’s “okay” to go in them. That’s all I’ve got. Just know that eventually he’ll get it.

 

[KrazeeK120]

Stop putting him in a pull up? I think you might be sending him a mixed message by using them. It seems he knows it’s “okay” to go in them. That’s all I’ve got. Just know that eventually he’ll get it.

I’ve considered that, but he literally holds it until I put one on him. I don’t want him to get constipated...I feel like that will make the situation even worse. And he doesn’t pee in them (except for an occasional accident).

 

[KrazeeK120]

How does he act when he poops in the pull up? Does it bother him at all? If it does, I’d wait a few minutes to change him..let him feel how uncomfortable it is. That might be the motivation he needs.

Other than that, I’d say try and catch him before he poops. Don’t make a game of it because now he sees potty time as phone time. Get him on the pot every hour on the hour and eventually he’ll go where he’s supposed to.

Good luck!

He actually doesn’t seem to care, which may just mean he’s not ready yet. I dunno.

I do try to catch him before, but he tells me he doesn’t have to go and then waits until he’s in his room by himself.

 

[Summer2018]

So, here’s the situation. My son will be 3 at the end of October. He’s been potty trained for a little over a month (a few accidents here and there) except he refuses to go #2 in the toilet. I have tried talking to him about it, sitting with him, putting him on the toilet and leaving the room, letting him play with my phone, and buying new toys as rewards (which are currently still sitting unopened). But every day like clockwork, he waits until I put his pull up on at quiet/nap time and waits until he’s in his room by himself and then he goes (I still put him in a pull up at nap and night...nap is when he tends to have accidents still.)

I’m not worried, I’m just trying to figure out if/how I can get him over this hump. I’m a stay at home mom and he doesn’t “have” to be trained until he goes to preschool in a year. Should I just wait a bit and address it again later, maybe around the time he turns 3?

I’d appreciate any advice from seasoned pros!

I’m a Pre-K (4) teacher, a veteran Early Childhood Specialist.

When DD was 2 years and 8 months, toilet training went very smoothly. Then she got a stomach virus and vomited in the toilet for 24 hours. She had to get a suppository from her pediatrician to stop and was severely dehydrated. After that, she refused to use the toilet.

Suddenly nothing I tried worked. No reward programs, no sticker charts, not even M&M’s. I consulted her pediatrician and my colleagues. Nope. Nothing I tried convinced her to use the toilet. I felt like a failure.

She needed to be toilet trained in order to attend the threes program at the Preschool she was starting in September, and it was August. She had been on this school’s waiting list since birth, and I didn’t want her to lose her spot. I called the Director, and she told me not to worry and that she’d have her toilet trained the first week of school.

So, she started Preschool that September and wet her pants on the first day. She was mortified because everyone else was using the toilet and stayed dry. She was toilet trained from that day on.

The lesson in all this is that your child is in charge and will use the toilet when he/she decides to do so.

 

[keaster]

My daughter was the same way, she held it in for a long time her poor tummy was getting hard...but then she finally just "let it go" on the little potty we had and the look on her face after was hilarious. After that, she had no problem going number 2!

I think the sensation of it is scary for them as opposed to number 1 and they probably think it's going to hurt!

 

[ols386]

For naptime I would stop putting him in a pull-up. See what happens with that. I think it’s still ok to put him in a pull-up at nighttime though.

 

[Waddler]

I think it's pretty normal for #2s to lag behind #1s. I would continue with the pull-ups to prevent constipation, as you mentioned.

We've had luck rewarding everyone else in family for going #2 in the bathroom. In our case, the treat was an oreo. Jealousy and wanting to be included can be a big motivator. Kind of crazy, but it works for some kids and keeps things light!

 

[KrazeeK120]

I think it's pretty normal for #2s to lag behind #1s. I would continue with the pull-ups to prevent constipation, as you mentioned.

We've had luck rewarding everyone else in family for going #2 in the bathroom. In our case, the treat was an oreo. Jealousy and wanting to be included can be a big motivator. Kind of crazy, but it works for some kids and keeps things light!

Ha, that’s a great idea! Unfortunately, my son is an only child...we don’t even have pets. I bet my husband wouldn’t mind rewards for going #2 though!,

 

[KrazeeK120]

My daughter was the same way, she held it in for a long time her poor tummy was getting hard...but then she finally just "let it go" on the little potty we had and the look on her face after was hilarious. After that, she had no problem going number 2!

I think the sensation of it is scary for them as opposed to number 1 and they probably think it's going to hurt!

I agree, and he tends to be nervous to try new things. Once I can get him to do something once, it’s no problem. It’s just that first time! I really think that if I can get him to do it one time, he’ll be good. He pretty much got potty training in a day otherwise.

 

[AP1209]

I wouldn't worry too much. My son was close to 3 1/2 before he would go #2 in the potty consistently. He was going #1 in the potty just fine. We didn't change anything and he just started going on his own. One day we just realized it had been a couple of weeks without any accidents. I do agree with going cold Turkey with the pull ups. My God, we threw away so many pairs of underwear!

 

[kuhltiffany]

Boys often have a hard time with #2 training. It's a completely different muscle group than #1, and boys have to separate it out in order to understand it. With girls I think they have the "advantage" of already sitting to go, so some of the training that happens is from opportunity.

Sitting on a regular basis, with feet supported (not dangling) can help. Some kids do better on a potty rather than a toilet, being overwhelmed by the size and falling sensation that occurs.

Your son seems to have a regular time to go, I wouldn't pressure him but encourage a casual sit, maybe read him a story, keep him on there for a bit every day to see what happens. Make sure he's had lots of fruits and water so that he isn't constipated and it's easy to go.

Good luck, with my childcare background I've helped train a lot of kids, but even my son was a challenge

 

[BLAZEY]

When you put the pull up on does he wear underwear under it? That's what I did when DD was potty training. She didn't want to dirty her underwear , but a pull up wasn't underwear, it was a diaper to her. When she had accidents she had to help clean up (rinse undies, put in washer with my help), its gross for me when you do this, so you are going to help clean up. She got treats when she did use the potty as well. I did use a pull up over her underwear on the plane even though we went before boarding. I explain that the toilets were tiny and quite often a lineup to use so this was just in case. You know how little kids leave it to the last second before letting you know the need to go.

 

[BLAZEY]

B
Sitting on a regular basis, with feet supported (not dangling) can help. Some kids do better on a potty rather than a toilet, being overwhelmed by the size and falling sensation that occurs.

We bought this seat for our main bathroom. DD could make the seat her size and had a step stool in front of the seat for her feet. Took away the feeling of falling in.

 

[KrazeeK120]

We bought this seat for our main bathroom. DD could make the seat her size and had a step stool in front of the seat for her feet. Took away the feeling of falling in.

Yes, that’s what we have in both bathrooms. He seems to like using the regular toilet. We have a small potty and he won’t even look at it. He appears to feel pretty secure with his potty seat and feet on a stool.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Try having him sit on the toilet while wearing the pull-up at first. Some kids just need the change broken down into the smallest steps possible.

 

[wenrob]

Try having him sit on the toilet while wearing the pull-up at first. Some kids just need the change broken down into the smallest steps possible.

Good idea!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don't know if he's in a crib still with the side rail up, or a toddler bed? But I'd probably try to capitalize on the fact that he gets the urge when he goes down for his nap and bring a potty in his room and let him be in charge of it. I know you said he doesn't like to use it but maybe try to work on that. If his siderail is down or he's in a toddler bed, he can learn to get down and go sit on the potty right then and there. Or at least that would be the eventual goal; there may be accidents, lol. Let him know he can call you to help him wipe and clean up. Down the road you transition to the toilet. I agree with lots of P fruits (pears, peaches, plums), fiber and fluids to help him stay regular. We used to keep a potty with us when my twins were training. And I agree with the pp who said that competition was beneficial. DS used to get M&Ms and DD wanted some, too, so she got to it.

 

[powellrj]

I watch the TV show outdaughterd and they are potty training right now. They are using a bell. When you go, you get to run around the house ringing it.

I agree about no pull-up. Let him clean himself if he goes in his underwear.