Need help navigating college tours and other "college-prep" questions

[The Mystery Machine]

I wonder if overnights is just an eastern half of the country thing. The only time I've ever heard of it was someone who was going to college on the other side of the country.

Here in MO they are all over the place. Esp. if you had a kid in a scholar program, I think.

My 8th grade dd went to a university scholar program over the past summer and stayed at a University dorm for 3 weeks. Well once she did that she got letters for other "programs" that are available. Heck there are weekend things at different Universities around here. I never knew that. Naturally they want your money.

In addition I know that if you have a specific major in mind, esp Vet School or other majors Mizzou has programs for HS students that qualify of course, to check out their school.

Once you start looking into it, you find out there is a lot of stuff out there.

 

[disykat]

I suppose being in Washington State EVERYTHING is east of you but here in MN they are very common. I don't know of a school around here that doesn't have the option to do an overnight.

And you are on the eastern half of the US, like everyone else I've noticed commenting on the overnight visits.

 

[disykat]

My 8th grade dd went to a university scholar program over the past summer and stayed at a University dorm for 3 weeks. Well once she did that she got letters for other "programs" that are available. Heck there are weekend things at different Universities around here. I never knew that. Naturally they want your money.

.

We have scholar programs like that. You pay for those like summer camp. I just hadn't really heard of going to stay overnight in the dorms etc. on college visits.

 

[Bearvet]

DS21 did ALL the legwork in looking at colleges - he researched, planned visits, narrowed it down to 6 he applied to (and was accepted at all 6). During April vacation we visited his top 3 choices again and his #1 choice all along - changed!! It surprised even him, but he's very happy with his decision.

DS17 is a senior this year and is SSOOO different! He's very "black and white" and knows exactly what he wants. Unfortunately he only wants to apply to 2 schools (which he's already done) but I really think he needs 1 or 2 safety choices. His GPA, class rank, ECs, etc are outstanding, but he doesn't do well on standardized tests, so his SATs, ACTs are only average. He has a good shot at his 2 choices, but there's also the chance he won't get accepted.

So right now we're trying to find the safety schools and NOTHING appeals to him. Many have Dec. 1 deadlines so we need to finalize our list.

My point is that kids are very different. I worked with DS17 over the summer putting together a resume, writing essays, etc. and he has thanked me over and over because none of his friend's parents are helping them. His guidance counselor even asked if she could hire me!

BTW DS17s top choice is the same school DS21 is attending - Ohio State!

 

[MrsPete]

In this day and age of technology? Yes, crazy. And this is something you wouldn't think to ask about on college tours or meeting with admissions reps.

We did! We asked about it in the dorms, and we asked about it in the library.

I said earlier, my daugther and I are both detail-oriented. She made up a check-list of things she wanted to do at each campus visit, and I added to it.

 

[MrsPete]

But this is how they BECOME serious students most of the time . It's just strange I think.

In my experience, anytime a student does some type of overnight at a college -- be it a stay-with-a-friend type thing, a summer program, or a do-you-want-to-come-to-school here program -- the student tends to see that college as a definite possibility. It happens so often that I'm surprised that colleges aren't chomping at the bit to get high schoolers in the door at every turn.

For example, my daughter attended a summer program at a small, private school -- not a school that I would consider a good fit for her at all -- and she put it on her list of schools to investigate. When she found that they don't offer her proposed major, she was more upset than I would've expected. It was only after I pointed out that it fit basically NONE of the criteria she'd listed as "gotta haves" that she started to see that it really didn't matter. She was never going to attend that school, and I was surprised at how it hurt her to realize that.

 

[bballmom56]

We did! We asked about it in the dorms, and we asked about it in the library.

That was smart! We just didn't think to ask specifically about it since the schools we were looking at had been touting their technology and wireless capabilities. I guess we just assumed that the speed would be state of the art. Not so!

In my experience, anytime a student does some type of overnight at a college -- be it a stay-with-a-friend type thing, a summer program, or a do-you-want-to-come-to-school here program -- the student tends to see that college as a definite possibility. It happens so often that I'm surprised that colleges aren't chomping at the bit to get high schoolers in the door at every turn.

I agree that it may help a student become interested in that school. But I wonder how many HS juniors would simply use that overnight to live like an adult college student for a couple of days and either have no intention of going to that college or not have the stats that match that college or find out after the fact that the college doesn't have the programs they are interested in. I would think by at least waiting until a student has applied, they have narrowed it down to the student that has done their research about the school already. It does cost them money to have these kids on campus.

Actually, after searching my memory, I do remember that DS could have done an overnight at one college before he applied. Although he was a senior, we had visited twice previously and he had been interviewed. However, looking at their website now, it is only open to accepted students.

For example, my daughter attended a summer program at a small, private school -- not a school that I would consider a good fit for her at all -- and she put it on her list of schools to investigate.

My kids had done that too through sports and civics activities. But then their stay there was paid for either by us or the organization sponsoring them. Plus I am sure that those groups carried insurance as well.

It is nice that there are schools that will allow juniors to do overnights. We just did not come across any in our search.

 

[golfgal]

In my experience, anytime a student does some type of overnight at a college -- be it a stay-with-a-friend type thing, a summer program, or a do-you-want-to-come-to-school here program -- the student tends to see that college as a definite possibility. It happens so often that I'm surprised that colleges aren't chomping at the bit to get high schoolers in the door at every turn.

For example, my daughter attended a summer program at a small, private school -- not a school that I would consider a good fit for her at all -- and she put it on her list of schools to investigate. When she found that they don't offer her proposed major, she was more upset than I would've expected. It was only after I pointed out that it fit basically NONE of the criteria she'd listed as "gotta haves" that she started to see that it really didn't matter. She was never going to attend that school, and I was surprised at how it hurt her to realize that.

Exactly, this is why so many colleges have summer camps, etc.-they use them as recruiting/promotion tools to get kids on their campus. The college where our marching band USED to go to often ended up with a handful of kids from our band every year, since the kids stopped going there, there haven't been any that have attended school there. The school that they use now sees quite a few of them. The kids' friends have their heart set on places they went to basketball camps, etc. too (this before any of them have really investigated any other schools though). DS 18 made up his mind at age 10 he was going to go to school where his summer camp was held-he ended up going elsewhere but it was his number 2 choice.

 

[Deb & Bill]

My son and I did a college road trip this summer and visited six schools. The closest one is 1850 miles from us. We put 2200 miles on the rental car and we started in Spokane WA. On each visit he took the group tour that included the dorms, made an appt to talk to a college advisor in the area he was interested in and spent at least a day at each school.

He had some great discussions with these advisors. While he was touring with the group and talking to the advisors, I was elsewhere reading, looking around. I left it up to him to ask the questions he wanted and needed to ask. He also prepared a resume of his HS career that included his volunteer activities, athletics, part-time employment, etc. to give to the advisors.

He wound up applying to four of the six and has been accepted by all four at this point. He's already been offered a Trustee's four year scholarship to one of the four. He's applied for housing at one, his top school. That is refundable up to a point should he decide on one of the others instead.

The best part about the trip was that the school that he had number one dropped to number six of the six. He loved their website and was sure that was the one. But the visit changed his mind and he was glad that he visited.

We only have the one son, so we won't have to do this again. It was fun, though.

 

[powellrj]

I'm just saying how it was for my kids and what they experienced. I would think that colleges would want to make sure they host serious students (meaning that they have at least already applied), rather than students who just say maybe I'll take a trip and visit x college that I really don't know if I am interested in or not. It is a liability to have these underage students staying on their campus and it involves cost to the college.

But that is why I said she should look into the policies at the schools her DD is interested in.

We had an interesting college visit this year. My DD who is a freshman in HS was invited to attend Homecoming Weekend at the college just a few blocks from our home. They sent her an invitation along with lots of planned activities. I let her attend because the school is just a few blocks from our home, she know several other girls who had also received invitations and she knew several kids who attend school there.

It was to say the least, something I will think long and hard about before I would ever do it again.

She was assigned to the dorm of 2 freshman girls, she didn't know them, but they knew several of the same people so there was a connection there. They had planned several activities for Friday night, they went to one and then went back to the dorm and had boys over. She did know the boys because they had been friends of her older brothers. They then left the campus and took her out until 3am. They then skipped all the next days activities. She was suppose to stay until 5:30 and see a play and attend the football game and go to a volleyball game in the morning. When they didn't attend the volleyball game and showed no interest in attending the football game, she called us about 1 and asked us to pick her up early. She was at a loss as to what to do. She had really wanted to attend the activities and because the hosts didn't want to go, she was basically just left to hang out. If she hadn't been to the campus many times before and knew her way around, plus she could walk home in under 5 minutes and knew many kids already there, I would never had let her go at this young of an age. But it did give her a glimpse into dorm life which was something she thinks she might enjoy.

Her brother wasn't a dorm person and joined a fraturnity as soon as he got to college.

We aren't sure why she was invited. She has attended many activities over the years because we are so close, she is also a straight A student, and she also was a volunteer with the church that is affiliated with the school, so it could be any of those things that got her invited.

 

[MrsPete]

DS 18 made up his mind at age 10 he was going to go to school where his summer camp was held-he ended up going elsewhere but it was his number 2 choice.

Yep, we're talking about exactly the same thing: He may not've ended up choosing that school, but attending band camp put it on his "investigate this school" list. And I'd bet a bunch of other kids who attended similar camps at least gave this school a good look because of that summer experience.

My theory: As my oldest daughter and I've become serious about the college search process, I've realized that she and her friends really don't have a clue about what college is like. About a year ago we had a long, serious talk -- which included my student teacher -- about college. They knew her, liked her, and felt comfortable peppering her with questions that they wouldn't necessarily ask strangers at an Open House. I was surprised at just what they didn't know. The whole college concept was very . . . abstract to them. Anyway, I think that schools where they've attended summer camps (or similar) seem "more real" to them . . . and, thus, very attractive. Known vs. unknown.

I don't remember college being particularly "unknown" to me, but my mother went back to college when I was in high school, and I'd tagged along with her to classes occasionally. I'd gone with her to the library on weekends. I'd spent more time on a campus than the average kid. Now, in retrospect, I see that she didn't do that just for the pleasure of my company -- it was good for me.

This makes me remember something: When we were finishing up our freshman year, my roommate and I were discussing our successes and failures over the course of the year, and she said something that struck me as so funny that I still remember it. She said that college was nothing like she'd expected. She said that she'd thought all we'd ever do was sit on blankets under trees studying, and we never did that -- not even once. She even showed me the blanket (still brand-new) that she'd bought special as our under-tree blanket. She clearly didn't come to college with a clear, realistic vision!

She was assigned to the dorm of 2 freshman girls . . . back to the dorm and had boys over . . . took her out until 3am . . . skipped all the next days activities . . . showed no interest in attending the football game . . . the hosts didn't want to go . . .

1. I suspect hosts like this are the reason we don't see more overnight invitations. I agree with you that I wouldn't have knowingly allowed a high school student to attend this weekend. Sure, a freshman could end up in similar situations, but a freshman would have her own room to which she could return and an RA and friends to whom she could turn -- a freshman would have a support system; your high school visitor had just her hosts.

2. I wonder how they pick the hosts -- I'm wondering if they use groups like kids who live in the honors dorms or teaching fellows? It would seem that they should've picked kids who would've wanted to attend the events and be more helpful to the potential students.

I hope you (and/or your daughter) had a chance to evaluate the overnight. The school really should know that their carefully laid plans were waylaid.