Need help finding multi specialty treatment program

[ZPT1022]

So yesterday was Christmas and we saw some family members that we don't see all that often. We saw DH's cousin and we haven't seen her since the summer.

We've been saying for a while that she and her husband still seem to "party" quite a bit, even though they're married and have kids and all that. Everyone else seems to have settled down quite a bit from where we were 10 or so years ago but they are trying to keep it up still.

DH and I have also been speculating about an eating disorder for awhile but that one is a bit harder because her mother was also one of those lucky eat what you want and never gain weight people throughout her younger years. Well, unfortunately it's become obvious that this is a bit more than being lucky about not gaining weight, and she's now well past the point where mom and sister started to add a few pounds. Every time we see her she is thinner and thinner, she looks like a good breeze could drag her away. She has also lost quite a few teeth and there are other things as well.

After they left we had a chance to talk to a few other people and it turns out that yes, those closest to her are finally catching on and have been trying to help, but the hard part is finding a treatment facility that can deal with the alcoholism AND the eating disorder(s).

Is there anyone in CT that has any ideas? Should we be looking outside of our state? The situation is quite bad and I'm pretty sure that if we don't get her help we'll be planning her funeral within the next few months. Any advice is appreciated.

 

[ZPT1022]

bumping to add that if anyone knows a better place to have posted this, please let me know.

 

[EthansMom]

Sorry, I can't offer any advice for treatment programs.

I can, however, tell you (from experience with a few family members with addiction problems) that no one is going to be able to force your cousin to change. She's got to WANT to change.

It might be best if someone from the family could get the kids into a healthier environment.

(It's possible that the cousin is doing drugs also. That could cause her to lose weight and/or have problems with her teeth.)

 

[Kae]

Sounds like Meth to me. You can offer help but you can't make someone go to treatment.

Kae

 

[arminnie]

I have a friend who is a licensed addiction specialist and worked in a private psyc hospital for over 20 years. She said (4th hand of course) that it really sounds like meth.

Meth is very, very difficult to overcome. Not impossible but really really hard - probably worse than heroin.

The achohol/drug/food issues are usually overlapping. The drug and especially alcohol detox usually has to be done before dealing with the food issues.

Good luck.

 

[ZPT1022]

Sorry, I can't offer any advice for treatment programs.

I can, however, tell you (from experience with a few family members with addiction problems) that no one is going to be able to force your cousin to change. She's got to WANT to change.

It might be best if someone from the family could get the kids into a healthier environment.

(It's possible that the cousin is doing drugs also. That could cause her to lose weight and/or have problems with her teeth.)

The grandparents are next door and spend a lot of time with the kids. Grandma is retired and Grandpa's schedule allows him to be very available to the kids so they are lucky with that.

I know she has to want to change and apparently she went to some sort of day program for the eating disorder part but she really needs to deal with the other issues as well since they feed off of each other. She really needs intensive inpatient treatment that can deal with ALL of her problems but it's hard finding somewhere qualified to handle all of it at once. Dh's mom has been calling around trying to find something but no luck so far.

 

[ZPT1022]

Sounds like Meth to me. You can offer help but you can't make someone go to treatment.

Kae

Having been through the mental illness part with my former stepbrother I do know that (unfortunately) you can't force someone into treatment, I'm just trying to help DH's mom find somewhere equipped to handle all her needs so that her immediate family can try to get her to go. Hadn't thought about meth, wouldn't that be quicker to show effects??

 

[ZPT1022]

I have a friend who is a licensed addiction specialist and worked in a private psyc hospital for over 20 years. She said (4th hand of course) that it really sounds like meth.

Meth is very, very difficult to overcome. Not impossible but really really hard - probably worse than heroin.

The achohol/drug/food issues are usually overlapping. The drug and especially alcohol detox usually has to be done before dealing with the food issues.

Good luck.

well, you're the second person to say meth, I wonder if there is anything to that. What a shame that would be. As if the other isn't bad enough

Ugh. The whole thing is just such a mess. The ones I really feel the worst for are her kids and her parents. They're the ones who will suffer most if something happens to her. Of course I feel sad for her being in the situation but I really think that people with these problems can't see past themselves enough to realize what they're doing to those around them.

thanks for the good luck, I have a feeling the family will be needing it

 

[EpcotBeauty]

well, you're the second person to say meth, I wonder if there is anything to that. What a shame that would be. As if the other isn't bad enough

With all due respect, there is NO WAY anyone on the DIS could make a diagnosis (or is even qualified to) on your OP alone. You know your cousin has a problem and hopefully one day she will want to help HERSELF! Good luck.

 

[ZPT1022]

With all due respect, there is NO WAY anyone on the DIS could make a diagnosis (or is even qualified to) on your OP alone. You know your cousin has a problem and hopefully one day she will want to help HERSELF! Good luck.

I think people mean well enough, so I'm not really bothered. Obviously I'm not going to be trying to treat DH's cousin myself, so it doesn't matter too much. I'm just putting feelers out in as many places as I can to try to find a facility, or a way to find a facility that can help her. It is so far beyond what a loving family can handle. She needs professional help, the sooner the better. No two ways about that. Maybe I'm wrong but I would think that a treatment center would probably test her upon admission to find out exactly what they're dealing with. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that we can find a place, and a way to get through to her.

thanks for the well wishes

 

[bumbershoot]

It's the tooth stuff that makes people think of meth. Something like it stops your salivary glands from functioning, and saliva is a form of protection for teeth, so they end up rotten and falling out.

But a severe eating disorder could probably do the same thing.



I think I noted you're in CT? You might google something like "eating disorder" with your state, find a few places that sound good, and call them to see if they have recommendations and ideas. Just as a start.

 

[johnsontrio]

Remuda Ranch in Arizona is the treatment facility they use on the show Intervention. Check out their website.

 

[ZPT1022]

It's the tooth stuff that makes people think of meth. Something like it stops your salivary glands from functioning, and saliva is a form of protection for teeth, so they end up rotten and falling out.

But a severe eating disorder could probably do the same thing.



I think I noted you're in CT? You might google something like "eating disorder" with your state, find a few places that sound good, and call them to see if they have recommendations and ideas. Just as a start.

I never knew that about meth. Thankfully (??) I am pretty naive about that sort of thing. This is a long term eating disorder and most likely the problem but it doesn't hurt to check everything out. Goodness knows she is in such a low place right now that not much would be a surprise.


I have been googling, MIL has been going through the phone book. Thanks

 

[ZPT1022]

Remuda Ranch in Arizona is the treatment facility they use on the show Intervention. Check out their website.

thank you

 

[disneymcgraw]

Hi, I'm in CT too. I have a friend who had some treatment at Rushford and is doing well. Good luck to you, it's a very hard road with many setbacks.

I'm knocking on wood and saying my friend has been doing well and made it through the holidays but it's one of those things that you just never know and hope for the best.

I will keep a good thought for your family.

 

[DVC Sadie]

A lot of addictions can cause rotting teeth, including heroin, meth and bulimia.

I hope you can find a treatment center close to you that would help with an intervention for your cousin.

 

[Disney Doll]

Silver Hill in New Canaan CT is one that I know of that has a pretty good success rate.

There is another facility in Stonington CT area...I do not know the name of...but a colleague's DD had treatment for drug addiction there and is doing quite well, even many years later.

I would google something like "addiction services in CT" or "mental health services in CT" or "psychiatric facilities in CT" and see what you come up with.

Best of luck...it is a difficult situation.