Need advice!

[princesshannahsmom]

Okay, I am sorry if this gets too long, but it is a bit convoluted!

I am a legal assistant for a sole practitioner. The office consists of myself, a receptionist (and that is literally all she is good for), and the attorney. Basically, I do EVERYTHING.

I make approximately $3/hour less than the average legal assistant for this area, and unfortunately, legal assisting isn’t all I do.

I have been with this attorney for two (2) years and he has become entirely too dependant on me. But, please don’t misunderstand me, I LOVE being needed.

Here is where my dilemma arises. As I was leaving work yesterday, we were talking about a very large and time consuming case that we are working on, that is in its end stages (trial is in May). We are in Northwest Florida and the trial is in Central Florida and is scheduled to take place over a seven (7) working day period. I said to him, wow, I sure am glad that I don’t have to sit through that trial. He responded, what the heck are you talking about, you HAVE to be there, I NEED you. I was shocked, I had no idea what to say to him, so I sort of laughed and we walked our separate ways.

I absolutely CANNOT attend a more than week long trial, out of town. I have a husband who works full (more, really) time and a 10 year old daughter. Please understand, when I took this job, I was simply a “legal secretary” and sort of just glided into the legal assisting position. I was NEVER told that I would have to attend trials and such, and certainly not told that I would have to travel, if I had been informed of that in the beginning, I certainly could not have taken the position.

My question is this, how do I tell him that attending a week long, out of town trial is just not something I can do. He has a wife and children, but he IS NOT at all family oriented. The idea of having to leave work at a decent hour to attend to family life is foreign to him. I just don’t know what to do. I realize this is several months away, but, I feel like he needs to know sooner rather than later that this is just not something I am willing to do.

Help! I don’t want to lose my job, I love it, but darn it, I have a family.

 

[wvjules]

Okay, I am sorry if this gets too long, but it is a bit convoluted!

I am a legal assistant for a sole practitioner. The office consists of myself, a receptionist (and that is literally all she is good for), and the attorney. Basically, I do EVERYTHING.

I make approximately $3/hour less than the average legal assistant for this area, and unfortunately, legal assisting isn’t all I do.

I have been with this attorney for two (2) years and he has become entirely too dependant on me. But, please don’t misunderstand me, I LOVE being needed.

Here is where my dilemma arises. As I was leaving work yesterday, we were talking about a very large and time consuming case that we are working on, that is in its end stages (trial is in May). We are in Northwest Florida and the trial is in Central Florida and is scheduled to take place over a seven (7) working day period. I said to him, wow, I sure am glad that I don’t have to sit through that trial. He responded, what the heck are you talking about, you HAVE to be there, I NEED you. I was shocked, I had no idea what to say to him, so I sort of laughed and we walked our separate ways.

I absolutely CANNOT attend a more than week long trial, out of town. I have a husband who works full (more, really) time and a 10 year old daughter. Please understand, when I took this job, I was simply a “legal secretary” and sort of just glided into the legal assisting position. I was NEVER told that I would have to attend trials and such, and certainly not told that I would have to travel, if I had been informed of that in the beginning, I certainly could not have taken the position.

My question is this, how do I tell him that attending a week long, out of town trial is just not something I can do. He has a wife and children, but he IS NOT at all family oriented. The idea of having to leave work at a decent hour to attend to family life is foreign to him. I just don’t know what to do. I realize this is several months away, but, I feel like he needs to know sooner rather than later that this is just not something I am willing to do.

Help! I don’t want to lose my job, I love it, but darn it, I have a family.

People that have families travel for work all the time so I don't see what the big deal is with that.

I would, however, tell him that you don't want to go and let the chips fall where they may.

 

[princesshannahsmom]

People that have families travel for work all the time so I don't see what the big deal is with that.

I would, however, tell him that you don't want to go and let the chips fall where they may.

I agree with you, MANY people with familes travel for their jobs, as traveling is part of their job, or in the very least, they are aware that traveling could be a part of their job. Traveling isn't a part of my job and I wasn't aware that traveling would be a part of my job, thus, my dilemma.

It appears that "letting the chips fall" is my only option at this point. I was just hoping for some way to lay it gently. Like I said, I DO like my job.

 

[Myothername]

I can totally relate to this. I was a paralegal for 17 years. I didn't have to do a lot of travel with my job and only one time I can remember it being overnight. First off it sounds to me like you deserve a big raise. I have worked for sole practioners and you really do do everything. I would sit down and talk to him about this.

Ask him if there is any way you can come down for just part of the trial. Maybe you can go the first day, get everything set up for him, everything labeled, list of exhibits handy and in order for him. I like to put things in folders with labels and with the tabs on the folders all in the middle if you can picture that. Get those plastic pockets that go on the outside of Fedex big envelopes and stick them on the box. Then make a list of what is in the box and put in that clear plastic envelope.

If he needs you later on that week you could drive down. Or if he insists you be there every day there is not much you can do. He needs you and the client is depending on both of you. Believe me if you are staying in a hotel each night the case will not end at 5:00 when the courthouse closes. You will be up a few hours getting things ready for the next day.

I realize you did not know this was part of the job when you started but it is part of being a legal assistant/paralegal. Sole practioners depend very heavily on their assistants and you must be very good or he would not be wanting you there at trial.

I would start now calling in favors from family and friends to help out while you are gone. Start now cooking extra casseroles and freezing them for while you are gone. It could be a good time for your daughter and husband to have some daddy/daughter time. And you get a full week with no cooking or housekeeping.

 

[DWGal210]

I understand what other posters are saying - but for me, I would be upset that he didn't tell you you were going and just assumed you would know he wanted you there. I would think he should have said, "I would like you at the trial, it's date such-and-such." If it were me, I would be more upset that I had little notice and wasn't told I was expected there.

You might not be able to get out of it now, but I would certainly talk to him either before you leave or right when you get back about a raise. Explain to him all the good work you've done for the firm (have concrete examples) and ask for a raise. I once saw a show with Suze Orman and she had a great idea - present your case and then say "I'd like a x% raise or an additional week of vacation time." That way, you're making your expectations known and it's harder for them to say "no" outright.

Good luck!!!

 

[princesshannahsmom]

I can totally relate to this. I was a paralegal for 17 years. I didn't have to do a lot of travel with my job and only one time I can remember it being overnight. First off it sounds to me like you deserve a big raise. I have worked for sole practioners and you really do do everything. I would sit down and talk to him about this.

Ask him if there is any way you can come down for just part of the trial. Maybe you can go the first day, get everything set up for him, everything labeled, list of exhibits handy and in order for him. I like to put things in folders with labels and with the tabs on the folders all in the middle if you can picture that. Get those plastic pockets that go on the outside of Fedex big envelopes and stick them on the box. Then make a list of what is in the box and put in that clear plastic envelope.

If he needs you later on that week you could drive down. Or if he insists you be there every day there is not much you can do. He needs you and the client is depending on both of you. Believe me if you are staying in a hotel each night the case will not end at 5:00 when the courthouse closes. You will be up a few hours getting things ready for the next day.

I realize you did not know this was part of the job when you started but it is part of being a legal assistant/paralegal. Sole practioners depend very heavily on their assistants and you must be very good or he would not be wanting you there at trial.

I would start now calling in favors from family and friends to help out while you are gone. Start now cooking extra casseroles and freezing them for while you are gone. It could be a good time for your daughter and husband to have some daddy/daughter time. And you get a full week with no cooking or housekeeping.

You are so right, I am so glad of all the folks looking at the Community Board, one of them has been in my shoes and understands!

I never thought of approaching him with going down just to get him fully prepared (I have become an expert on 'kindergarten' labeling!) If he has it right in front of him, with large enough labels, he will be able to handle it on his own.

But, I guess you are right, if worse comes to worse, I will just have to call grandmas and aunts and uncles and prepare my DH for a short life as a single dad!!!

 

[foolishmortal]

my job or my wifes job didnt require travelling but over time that changed, basically without notice too. In fact 1 time my wife had to fly and be gone for a week while 8 months into pregnancy, and then fly out and be gone for 2 weeks straight when our son was 8 months.


Just has to be done sometime.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

My wife was a paralegal until our boys were born. Her advice - renegotiate your pay right now, before the trial. If you are going to be asked to do this type of work, you should be fairly compensated. The best time to make that happen is when he NEEDS you.

I do not know what you are making, but you should be looking for a substantial increase - 30-50 percent...