Need advice - tween bringing a friend

[Mle8308]

I was that kid who would go pretty much anywhere at anytime and had no issues! My sister didn't even last 6 hours away from home. One other thing to agree upon in advance is expenses - who is paying for what because on a Disney trip, it can add up quickly. It's much better to work it all out in advance.

 

[DVCSunDevil]

The friend would be 12 or 13

I think it is kid to kid. Both of my daughters went away with a friend’s family for a week at a beach house when they were 12 and 14. There were absolutely zero issues. And when I was growing up we would always bring a friend with us to San Diego for our week vacation in the summer, from about 10 years old. We never had any issues there either. I think as long as the other parents think their child can do it then go for it. They know their children best.

My daughters are a little older now (15 and 17), but for my oldest daughter’s high school graduation next year we are planning a two bedroom WDW trip for a week. Each daughter will get to bring a friend. They pretty much already know who they are going to bring and the other parents are completely on board. Although like I said, my girls are a little older and can go to parks while we are at the pool. But doing WDW with friends is always awesome.

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

We've done this many time. My DD has brought her BF starting at age 12. They were friends since kindergarten and still are in their late 20s. Always had a letter from the parents giving me permission to travel and authorizing me for emergency medical care. My son started bringing friends at age 16/17. Those were more difficult as they tended to be female (slept in my daughter's room). I didn't have a long term relationship with them ahead of time so it was a bit uncomfortable. This Christmas, my son (31) brought his male BF and we had a ball.
Arrange for who pays for what ahead of time. That's my other piece of advice. Years ago, I didn't have the funds to buy everything from tickets to snacks so it mattered.

 

[Naglejen]

Thank you everyone! You all have given me a LOT to think about

 

[Naglejen]

Definitely! That is kind of why we are trying to figure out the trip length now, so we have an idea of what we are asking them for (we are looking at Aug 2023, so it is a long way away)

I should probably mention that, at least where we live, summer camp plans are generally made the previous fall/winter (camps sell out fast - especially the more affordable camps - I found out the hard way this year!), so we would need to start discussing by this Sept with other parents, but not quite this early. I mostly need to think it through for my spreadsheet where I track my points (and dream of just getting a few more lol)

 

[RoseGold]

I think it depends on how much the kid is traveled and how good your relationship is with this kid. I can think of several families I would be thrilled to take up on this offer, even much younger than that.

It sounds like you need to have a conversation with the parents to see if you are even on the same page.

It's not like they have to come the whole week. They could book two nights at the Swan, you'll plan everything.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I've wanted my daughter to bring along a friend but never did. When it comes down to it, I don't want that responsibility.

 

[howardlee2]

my daughter wanted to bring several girlfriends to WDW circa spring break soph/junior year of high school. Initially they were cool with going but both backed out as they wanted to go to Mexico without adults

 

[robinb]

If the child is an only child the parents will be more hesitant. The more children they have the less hesitant they will be.
Just remember to understand medical, and parent guidelines and all responsibilities you will have watching someone else’s child.

As the parent of an only child, I would have JUMPED at the chance for my DD to go somewhere with another family for a week. However, we were the ones who took the tween friend with us for a week to WDW.

 

[FinallyFL]

We had each of our 3 daughters take a friend on the same week long trip to WDW. I believe they were 13,14 and 16 at the time. The youngest friend did spend about an hour a day on the phone with her family. The fact that there was more than one child that wasn't a member of the family may have made it easier for kids.

Getting 6 teenage girls ready to leave in the morning was a logistical challenge. The only other difficulty was that the friends were named: Carissa, Marissa and Larissa - what are the chances of that

 

[mickeymom629]

I let my oldest bring a friend twice. He is the oldest (of 4) and always the one who was "grumpy" during a vacation so I thought this would help. I also let my only daughter bring a friend once. My advice - DON'T! We drove from MD to FLA. All parents were fine with the kids going with us (all on separate trips). Luckily, no mishaps but one friend left early (pre-arranged and she took a cab to the airport) so park day was shortened for all of us, another mom called while we were in EPCOT to tell their child something upsetting and encouraged them to come home immediately (the news made their chlid sad but it was something that could have waited until they got home from the trip), so plans were rearranged last minute to get this child to the airport. My daughter ended up not enjoying her friend coming with us at all, even though they were "best friends" and next door neighbors.
I thought it would be fun but it really changed our usual dynamic and family time. It didn't make the grumpy any better.

I think about it sometimes and really wish I hadn't done it.

Maybe, as someone said, if you live close and can do it for a day or night, that would probably be a lot different than taking a friend for the family vacation.

 

[Quiltsndisney]

My aunt and I took my cousin with downs and two girls from her group home. So technically adults but all in reality age 12-16 years old.

all the moms got on board before asking the other girls. It was hard for one girl and she struggled. Hardest part was three girls wanting to do different rides and w aged to spend different times in the park.

my aunt and I took turns taking and staying with one of the girls back at the hotel.

for the adults hard, but five years later they all swear it was the best trip ever and talk about it all the time.

 

[Naglejen]

I feel like I could make a successful career as a very specific type of resort concierge that people pay to wake up their teenagers in time for rope drop.

I would 100% hire you lol

 

[Naglejen]

Beyond that - has this child even been without her family before? Overnight camp? Daycamp with overnight trips? Any kind of school trip or athletic trip?

You don't want this trip to be the first time the child has been away from her family. If the child is extremely prone to homesickness, this is not the time to find out.

(Okay, I'll butt out now. I'm just the Best Aunt, not a parent. But I've seen that some kids spend nights away from their parents at a much earlier age than other kids.)

this is a very good point. Both the likely candidates have stayed over night at our house, I believe they both go away for camp, and one of my kids has gone away for several days with one of them. Also, please don’t butt out! I’m seriously trying to get a lot of different points of view here

 

[keishashadow]

I’d run the medical treatment issue past a lawyer to be sure

I make sure to get a signed letter stating I can make medical decisions in an emergency and a copy of their insurance card just in case.

In this situation we’ve carried a notarized permission letter, cribbed from what cruise lines utilize

For something like a broken arm ( kids can and do trip and fall) the hospital is going to require a legal guardian and until they show up the hospital is only required to make sure the child is stable. If you ever had a child on a sports team suffer a fracture the parent has to be there.

All well & good if the parents are local. When my kids participated in ‘travel’ competitions out of state (both sports & academic competitions), we needed to complete forms giving a level of preauthorization as to treatment parameters for them to participate. It varied by the group running the trip.