Need Advice Re: Katrina Victim Family

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

Hi. A week or two ago I posted on here that I wanted to give a large housewarming for a family who are Katrina Victims. My question was whether or not you guys thought it would be in good or bad taste. Based on your opinions and a few other opinions of people I spoke with, I decided to go ahead and do it...and I felt like it was the right thing to do.

Well, yesterday I was talking to my real estate agent and she wanted to help. So I had her call the real estate agent who has been dealing with this family and see if she wanted to help as well. Here's the problem: the real estate agent (for the family) said that she thought a gift basket would be more appropriate. She also commented to my real estate agent that the realtors in the area had already done something for the Katrina victims as a group.

Obviously, I don't agree with this real estate agent...but I also don't want to make this family feel uncomfortable about receiving gifts from people who, (on the whole of their lives) may be less well-off than this family because the father is a doctor.

This family lost their only two incomes (his medical practice and her teaching job) and have been without employment for 6 months. They also have 4 kids. Even people who have done well financially in the past seem to be needing help...I just can't exactly come out to the family and ask them what their financial situation is.

I did talk to the father last Friday, and he said his wife would be in town over the weekend and would call me, but for whatever reason she didn't. I am really at a loss here for what to do next...the newspaper has already called me wanting to do a story on it.

What should I do? Cancel, scale back, or go full-steam ahead?

 

[piglet too]

I missed the earlier thread, but I say go ahead with what you have planned.

 

[Evil Genius]

I would go ahead as planned. So what if the realtors did something? I don't think it matters what the financial means of anyone is, they need to know they are thought about. It's very nice of you to want to do this.

 

[tarmand]

If you want to do something nice for them, I'd say go for it. I agree that a gift basket might be more appropriate unless you personally know this family. If you want to make their personal lives public by having the newspaper cover it, I'd suggest that you get their permission first. Personally, I feel like a newspaper article is making them look like a charity case and I wouldn't like it if the article was about my family.

 

[VSL]

I'm with tarmand.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I'm with tarmand.

Me too. I would hate to have somebody make a story about me without my approval first.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

Well, the newspaper is the whole reason I know about the family. They were a front page story two weeks ago, and then they were profiled in a 15-20 minute segment on CNN Presents. I contacted the paper only to try and get more information about the family's situation from the guy who originally wrote the story. That's when they offered to write something about the housewarming.

I would certainly not want to bring embarrasment to a family, which is why I have questions about the whole thing. It just seems like these people aren't expecting a handout, which is what makes the whole idea nice.

I don't know the family. I just know I live in a town of 20K people who are generally rotten to newcomers. I also know that what they've been through is extraordinary...and that the public seems to be turning a blind eye to helping these people get back on their feet again.

 

[tarmand]

Well, the newspaper is the whole reason I know about the family. They were a front page story two weeks ago, and then they were profiled in a 15-20 minute segment on CNN Presents. I contacted the paper only to try and get more information about the family's situation from the guy who originally wrote the story. That's when they offered to write something about the housewarming.

I would certainly not want to bring embarrasment to a family, which is why I have questions about the whole thing. It just seems like these people aren't expecting a handout, which is what makes the whole idea nice.

I don't know the family. I just know I live in a town of 20K people who are generally rotten to newcomers. I also know that what they've been through is extraordinary...and that the public seems to be turning a blind eye to helping these people get back on their feet again.

Well, after reading that, I don't know what to suggest. If they've been featured in the paper and on CNN, it seems that they may be open to publicity. I don't know on this one. Sorry I can't be of more help.

 

[Disney Doll]

Since they have allowed their story to be told, it doesn't seem like the publicitiy factor is a problem for them, which is good.

I'm not sure I understand your question though? Are you asking if you shuold go through with the housewarming because one realtor gave you a somewhat negative repsonse? Are the realtors in your area the only ones donating to this cause, or is it a whole community participation thing?

My gut feeling would be go on with your idea of a housewarming, if any of the realtors (or anyone else in your community) want to donate, fine. If they don't because they have already donated to another Katrina Victim thing, that's fine too. I wouldn't let the opinion of one person, realtor or not, dictate what I decide to do to help this family.

As far as their previous financial status, I have to imagine that Katrina has wiped out more than a few people, no matter how well-to-do financially we may have assumed they were prior to the disaster. There are few people who could withstand a disaster of that magnitude and have the financial ability to come out of it without any help, and I don't care what they do for a living!!!!!

I actually think that what you're doing is a lovely idea.

 

[VSL]

Well, after reading that, I don't know what to suggest. If they've been featured in the paper and on CNN, it seems that they may be open to publicity. I don't know on this one. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Yeah - that changes the whole thing!

Either way, I think your intentions are good and just hope that, whatever you do, they can see that

 

[SC Minnie]

I wouldn't plan anything until I got an OK from the family. If they are for then full steam ahead.