Need advice.. high school trouble incident.. long

[disneysnowflake]

I was outside doing yard work when my very good friend's son walked by. He was upset looking. He's 16 and in 12th grade.

At lunch the driver's ed teacher pulled him out of the lunchroom. The driver's ed teacher told my friend's son that a 9th grade girl claims this boy said he wanted to kill her. Both the teacher and principal wanted to speak with him.

The teacher then went on to say the 9th grade girl's father is a state police officer, that he could be in huge trouble, he needed to stay away from this girl and anyone associated with her or he'd be arrested. The boy kept stating he didn't know the girl. He was told by the teacher he was headed for jail, which scared this kid. He's a kind hearted honor student. He's never been in trouble in school at all.

The boy was shocked and didn't even know who this girl is. He had one of his friends point out who she was. My friend's son didn't know her only seeing her in the hall or lunch or something. In the last class of the day that girl came into his class, patted him on the back and said "Here's the loser who wants to kill me". She was pointed out this boy to her friends.

He came home quite upset. He told his parents. They were upset at their son being accused of doing this. The boy retold the story of how the driver's ed teacher and principal spoke to him, etc.

My friend was stunned that such a serious charge was made, but she wasn't even contacted. If my child would have been accused of doing that I'd expect a phonecall from the school immediately.

So, my friend calls the principal to set up a meeting to get to the bottom of it. The principal didn't want a meeting. The mom insisted. She asked me to with her for moral support. On the phone the principal stated he never even saw her son and never heard anything about this who incident. So untrue.

The principal made us wait 40 minutes after the scheduled time to meet. He then took us to a room to meet with the teacher and principal.

The driver's ed told my friend what had happened. The principal said he wasn't there, it was only the driver's ed teacher who took her son out of the room. The driver's ed teacher corrected the principal. Yes, in fact, he was there.
Then in the next breath the principal stated that, yes, he was there, but only for moral support of the teacher.

The driver's ed teacher said that his buddy, the state police officer who is the father of the accuser, told him on Tuesday about this incident which apparently happened last Thursday. If a threat of death was given, why did it take 6 days for any staff to even mention it to this boy. Nobody contacted the parents, either.

The mom asked why she wasn't notified since her son was being accused of saying he wanted to kill someone. The principal said he isn't required to do so, but if it's found true then charges may be filed.

Shouldn't the school have contacted the parent of the one being accused?

The driver's ed teacher said it wasn't a big deal. He was just doing what his buddy said and wanted to give her son a head's up.

Meanwhile, my friend's son didn't want to go to school today for fear of being arrested. He was very, very upset at being accused of saying he'd kill someone when he didn't. My friend allowed him to stay home today.

The principal said the reason her son didn't show up for school today was he was admitting he did it and can't face up to what he's done.
My friend stated that was untrue. He wasn't at school because she wanted to find out what was going on.

So, the principal dismissed himself since it was lunch time. He said he wanted to speak with my friend's son tomorrow at 9am. He will also be calling the accuser's father again to speak with him.

Does anyone have advice what my friend and her son can do?

He's a really great, easy going, Eagle Scout. He is really upset over this. I'd hate to see him get in legal trouble for something someone said that was untrue.

The school really doesn't have to contact the parents when a death accusation is made? Maybe they don't do that anymore.

 

[Jestocost]

I would strongly suggest that they contact qualified legal counsel with experience in this area. It may not be necessary, but any misstep they make along the way with regard to admissions—real or perceived—could have significant implications going forward. The school personnel already have demonstrated that they are ready to lie and bend the truth, and I will guaranty that the school will have legal counsel as soon as this moves beyond the discussion stage. I'm not saying to sue or anything like that at this point, but the parents need to have good advice about how to proceed in this situation without forfeiting their rights.

 

[rascalmom]

Sorry for the boy's troubles - he and your friend must be terribly scared and confused.

Honestly, I would recommend they talk to an attorney.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

Does anyone have advice what my friend and her son can do?

Yes. Get a lawyer. Pronto.

 

[Maleficent13]

Your friend and her son need an attorney. Now. Before the son goes to any "meeting" with the principal or anyone else.

 

[SC Minnie]

I second getting legal counsel.

It sounds to me like this girl is trying to fit in with the popular kids and your friends son is not a popular kid so he is a target. I would bet she made the whole thing up since she pointed him out as a loser. The teacher and principal are pals with the girls father so you know they are going to believe her.

Where you able to find out when this threat was made, where it was made, did anyone else hear it, how was it made (verbal? written?). All the missing facts in the story above make it seem less believable that the threat occured at all.

 

[Sherri]

What in the world I have to ask myself? There are so many things done wrong here I wouldn't even know where to begin.
First of all I would love to know how in the world the principal got his job in the first place.
At this point your friend should take this to the superintendent. I wouldn't waste another minute with the school.
And what a whacko that girl must be for making up such rubbish, I would suggest some type of counsiling for her.
All I can say is take it to the higher ups.
Honestly if this would have been me sitting there as you described the meeting to go, I would have been looking for the hidden cameras and thinking someone was going to say your on candid camera, it just sounds so amazing and disgraceful all at the same time.
To your friends son, your friend and you for being there for them.

 

[Camicar]

Get a lawyer NOW. Take lawyer to the meeting. Do not agree to anything without a lawyer present.

At the very minimum, I would also demand from the principal and the driver's ed teacher a written and signed accounting of this supposed incident. The lawyer may be able to advise about having the girl give a 'deposition' about this alleged threat. That inquiry or a letter stating that a suit may be forthcoming for slander and defamation of character coming from a lawyer may be enough to get her to tell the truth.

Truthfully, if they believed this was a credible threat they have acted with great and legally-liable negligence in the way they handled it. Or they didn't believe it was credible in which case they had no reason to threaten the boy. Those facts and a potential for a lawsuit should be facts of which the school board should be made aware.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

lawyer up especially since he is an honor student and a senior. It could affect his college acceptance.

 

[trappednabox]

Your friend and her son need an attorney. Now. Before the son goes to any "meeting" with the principal or anyone else.

My thoughts exactly!!

 

[druidia]

Get a lawyer, NOW.

Don't even be so foolish as to actually believe that nothing will happen to him when he didn't do anything wrong. Do not make the mistake of having a conversation with the police without counsel present because they "just want to ask some questions."

Prisons are full of people who felt that had nothing to hide and were railroaded for crimes they didn't commit. Just ask the Innocence Project.

 

[DMickey28]

I agree with getting a lawyer pronto.

I would also tell your friend not to let her son be alone with any of these "Teachers." All it takes is a little pressure and scare tactics from the teacher's/principal to get this boy to admit to something he never did because he is scared out of his mind by people he has always been taught to trust and believe.

 

[Cool-Beans]

People are nuts. This should have died with the kids, whether he said it or not. One of these kids is being a little punk, but it has been blown way out of proportion by the folks who are supposed to be the level-headed ones.

If the parents are absolutely sure that the kid didn't say it, I'd get a lawyer (a good one) and start suing everyone involved. The girl, her parents, the teacher, the principal, the police...anyone who I could.

If they want to play legal games, then play.

I wouldn't attend one more meeting or talk to one more person until the lawyer was advising me.

 

[ksumn1]

Get a lawyer. Now. Do not delay. This whole incident was completely mishandled. I would make sure that when the principal meets with all parties involved (including the lawyer) that the laywer makes it clear that if this is a joke, and ends up being untrue that your friend is considering filing charges for harassment and slander. By her immature actions, she could seriosly damage this young mans reputation, and if charges are filed it could defiantely affect his chances at getting into collge, obtaining employment, etc. This is a very serious charge, and should not be taken lightly. I'm so sorry that something like this happended to your friend.

 

[Hannathy]

Lawyer NOW! and no one should speak to anyone until after seeing the lawyer.
If they can't talk to the lawyer before tomorrow they do not go to the meeting!!! No speaking on the phone no e-mails nothing. If the son does not go to school the Mother calls in on the admission phone line and calls him out for being sick. nothing else gets said.

Make sure she calls the bar assoc or legal assoc and gets the correct kind of lawyer also, this is not the time for the family tax lawyer or the one from Grandmas estate, maybe one of the lawyers on the DIS can point you in the right direction of which kind she wants.

Please urge her to quit talking until she has seen a lawyer!!!!

 

[Darcy03231]

GET A LAWYER RIGHT NOW! The young man and/or his mother should not attend any meetings without counsel present. I would let the lawyer handle it from here on out. Mom should call the principal and tell him she is in the process of retaining an attorney and that there will be no meeting without the attorney there. I would also keep the young man home from school until she hires a lawyer and gets his advice.

 

[PatsGirl]

Yes, another vote for legal counsel. In the meantime, the three of you need to sit down and put in writing exactly what has happened to this point, including names, dates, times, and possible witnesses -- you need to do this IMMEDIATELY before any of the facts become skewed in your minds. It is very easy to forget something. It could take days before an attorney can meet with you and that's too long to wait to commit details to memory. As the story unfolds in the next few days/weeks, you should continue putting on paper every thing that takes place to the minute detail. Then get that little for everything you can. There's nothing I hate more than a female bully with Daddy backing her up, a state cop no less. At the very least, I'd report both the teacher and the principal to the state board of education and at the very most, I'd do what I could to have them removed from their positions -- what a cover up! These so called professionals, so called adults, have no business working in a school.

 

[Lionqueen2]

People are nuts. This should have died with the kids, whether he said it or not. One of these kids is being a little punk, but it has been blown way out of proportion by the folks who are supposed to be the level-headed ones.

If the parents are absolutely sure that the kid didn't say it, I'd get a lawyer (a good one) and start suing everyone involved. The girl, her parents, the teacher, the principal, the police...anyone who I could.

If they want to play legal games, then play.

I wouldn't attend one more meeting or talk to one more person until the lawyer was advising me.

I agree with this 100%. I would be on the phone to an attorney immediately and would not meet with any school personel until my lawyer could contact them. I would be looking at suits against the school system, principal, teacher, and girls' parent. This is a serious incident and should not be let go. I would not let my son return to that school until you are advised by an attorney that it is OK .

 

[Huggles]

Could the police officer be considered to be abusing his position as a law enforcement officer? More to the point, should he not have put his complaint in writing to the school rather than having his 'buddies' do it in such an informal and unrecorded manner?

I think the legal back-up route is the one to follow to ensure the boy is not going to have his record marked by this incident. However, if it is proved to have been a false accusation by the girl, I think I would press that some official record be made that she has made a serious false accusation that could have affected a young man's future. I would further make a bit of a fuss that the police officer was threatening all sorts of action without verifying the authenticity of the girl's tale.

 

[ntsammy5]

Lawyer. This is bizarre. Please post back when there is a resolution.