Need advice from Christian parents....

[4DisneyfansinNC]

I family from our town was involved in a fatal car accident Friday night, 3 kids were in the car, the oldest girl, 10, died. It was also her birthday. The 2 younger kids have been hospitalized. One of the kids is in dd7's class. DD did know the girl who died because they go to an afterschool program (The Good News Club) together.
We've never had to talk to our kids about death (also have ds5). So, questions are being asked and I know I don't have all the answers. I don't even know how to put it on their level that they'd even understand.
Anyone know of a website that addresses the questions kids might ask, or have any insight to offer me? We are Christians, so of course we've been praying for their family and I'm definately seeing "teachable moments" here.
Thanks.

 

[AC7179]

I don't have any words of advice for you,b ut
I am very sorry for the loss.

 

[CdnDisneyNut]

No answers but some

Would your school board send some grief counsellors to the school to help the children.

 

[luvmydogs]

I wish I had an answer for you, 4Disneyfans. I was Googling things, but I'm not sure if what I found would be appropriate--most were book recommendations.

I will tell you that I'm keeping this dear family and yours in my good thoughts and prayers. May God give you strength and peace.

In my heart and soul, I cannot begin to imagine this kind of pain.

 

[Aidensmom]

I don't know of a website, but I have explained to my own 4 year old about death. I explained that when the person died, that we would not be able to see them anymore but that they would be in heaven with God and the angels, and would still be able to see us, and that one day a long, long time away we would go to heaven too and would be able to talk to that person again. He was able to understand that pretty well.

 

[JennaTX]

I do not know of any particular website for this. I would suggest calling your church to ask or calling a local Christian bookstore, I am sure there are age appropriate books out there that would help.

This family will be in my prayers.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

Sending you a PM

 

[BrerLizzie]

The way Aidensmom posted is what my mom told me when my grandma died.

 

[VickiVM]

I also second the suggestion of calling your pastor/minister. Your church may even have a Christian Educator that specializes in ministries for children that may have books/articles for you to read.

Good luck and sending prayers your way.

 

[mrsgus06]

I don't know of any books either. What I can tell you is from my own experience with children and death. The biological mother of 3 of my girls passed away while having her 3rd. The oldest was only 4 when it happened. We (I was the stepmom and their dad) sat them down and explained Heaven, the best way we knew how. We did not go into any graphic details (medical neglect from the hospital) but told them that sometimes angels are needed to help out in Heaven. Once their Mom had the baby, she was really sick and was needed in Heaven to help other babies that died and needed a Heaven Mommy. I don't know how much of it they understood but I will tell you this, it has been 4 1/2 years since the death of their Mom and they still ask questions. Sometimes I can see the questions coming and sometimes it is out of the blue. I try to answer all of them honestly (without it being the hospitals fault). Now the questions are something like, "Did my Mommy have red hair? Did my Mommy take us to the park? Did my Mommy graduate from high school?". When I, personally, don't know the answer, I will remind them to ask their Dad, he knew her better and longer than I did. However you decide to handle this, you have my prayers as does the family in mourning. Please keep us updated.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Here is a website that looked like it had some good information.

http://www.nfda.org/page.php?pID=27

 

[Brikate]

If you contact a local Funeral Home (possibly even the one the family will be using) they just may have a booklet entitled "Talking to Children about Death". There also used to be one that featured Mr. Rogers. (DH is a funeral director).

While this will be a difficult task for you as well as all the children that knew this little girl, I applaud you for even taking the time to explain it to your kids. You would be surprised to know how many parents in your position try to pretend it never happened and not even address it. By teaching your children about death thru an indirect incident such as this, will lessen the blow when a close family member passes away.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.

 

[barkley]

please consider which denomination operates your children's school. different christain faiths believe differently about the afterlife so it can be confusing if your beliefs do not mesh with those that the teachers/counselors put forth.

my daughter has attended fundemental christian as well as seventh day adventist christian schools-and their way of talking about death is very different (one believes you go directly to heaven, one believes you enter a sleep like state until the second coming of christ).

so i would answer their questions and explain what YOU believe but temper it with "but not everyone believes this, and that's o.k.-decide what you believe and embrace it".