Need Advice - Dilemma!!

[jamie0201]

Hi guys.. I would like everyones advice if possible!

Ok... we are plannign a custom wedding from Illinois. We are hoping for about 100 people, no more.

After the "save the dates" go out, I wanted to send some kind of informal letter to everyone giving them a little more details about the wedding and if they have any questions about disney to call us etc.. etc..
We are having our wedding during Spring break of next year and not to mention its over easter weekend. As we all know cost to fly and stay at disney is going to be outrageous.
So, I also wanted to mention in this letter something like we understand if people cant make it, its a busy time, and its easter weekend, etc... etc...

#1 - is it wrong to send the letter and tell people i understand if they cant make it... if it is worded correctly????
#2 - how could i word that????

My mom thinks its a good idea to send something out and my future mother-in-law thinks its a horrible idea! she said people just wont come then b/c im basically telling them its ok not to come.... BUT... thats my point!!! i dont want anyone to feel obligated to spend all of that money if they cant afford it!

Please help!!! What should i do??

Thanks
Jamie

 

[Merandab4]

Are you planning any kind of celebration when you return home to Ill? If so, I would just include a line at the bottom of your letter that state you will be hosting a celebration when you return for those who may not be able to attend. Or maybe you could make a web site instead of a letter to give the details of your wedding. Also, have you checked out the room discount rates for your guests. I know that is an option for custom weddings. If the rate is still too expensive for your guests, consider having them stay offsite. There are some resorts that offer moderate to Delux accomodations at an All-Star Price.

Home that helps a little. Good Luck.

 

[hmgolden]

We've been using email and the website theknot.com lets you set up to communicate with our guests. I have several distribution lists set up in my outlook (my family, his family, our friends) and that has helped us easily tailor the info that goes to each group.

We have been telling people that we totally understand if they are not going to come to the wedding, for whatever reason, but have been trying to do that on a one-on-one level and at family / friends get togethers when the wedding becomes a topic of conversation, rather than a mass announcement. That method may appease both your mother and FMIL, as it will still get the message across, but will be on a more personal level. We will not be having a reception when we get home, so we also lacked the tactful 'out' that reception would provide

Also, you may be surprised at the number of people who will use the wedding as the excuse to get to Disney. I know we were!

-Helen

 

[marn913]

We also planned our wedding from Illinois. We made our wedding invitations at home on our computer and printed them on invites that we bought at target (Total cost was about $25). We also included a second page (printed on the same invitation paper) that read as follows:

Accommodations And Transportation

Special Rate Accommodations are available at:

Disney’s All-Star Movies Resort
$94.08 / night (tax inclusive)
Please call: (407) 824-1383 to reserve.
Refer to the Gaynor/Bailey wedding.
Rooms must be booked by May 17, 2003.

Direct Airline Flights:

Are available through ATA and Southwest.
Average price ~ 150-200 round trip
(tax included).

Please make hotel and airline reservations
as early as possible.


Wedding Day transportation:

We will provide transportation from the
All-Star Movies resort to the wedding
Ceremony.

All guests will be transported via
motor coach to the reception at
Epcot’s Living Seas Lounge

After the reception, the motor coach will
stop at the wedding pavilion as well as
The All-Star Movies resort.

We printed it in a nice font and it looked really nice and also provided out guests with a heads up (and a reminder) about their responsibilities and the costs. The save the dates will also include two separate pages that tell your guests about special hotel rates and special ticket prices. Most of your guests will let you know right away if they can/cannot attend - you don't have to put a separate line about it. Generally, the people that could not attend our wedding called and apologized, and we just told them that we hoped they could join us for our "at home" party when we returned. My parents sent out the party invites while we were on our honeymoon, and everything worked out great! Hope this helps.

Marne
06-16-03
WP/LS

 

[Fantasia Sam]

Jamie I sent out newsletters as my save the dates. I added in details of how much the rooms were likely to be. What date the wedding would be. How staying at Disney doesn't have to be expensive. Tips on how to search for airfare's. I also told the guests that whilst we would like them to make the trip we do understand how difficult this can be due to time and money and we do not wish for anyone to feel obligated to come to the wedding and we would totally understand if they couldn't make it, but would obviously appreciate knowing this sooner rather than later because Disney needs to know numbers so we had enclosed a reply card so that we could guage numbers for Disney. LOL everytime we wanted to know something we just blamed Disney so no-one would think it weird we were asking questions so way ahead of time

Well I think your MIL is wrong and you and your mum are right With a destination wedding you can set the rules and people need to know that they shouldn't feel obligated to come. I would also put in a little reasoning on why you have both chosen to get married at Disney so that people understand and therefore won't feel so disgruntled that you are choosing to get married in a place that they cannot afford to get to.

Once the contract was signed with Disney they sent out to our guests a Save the Date and details of reduced rate accommodation and reduced special wedding rates for park tickets.

Then I sent out another newsletter to all those guests that were definites or maybe's - I stopped sending newletters to those who had said they couldn't make it all.

I sent out another newsletter with a rough guide to the wedding week with the invitation.

Our final newsletter will go out 4 weeks before the wedding and this will be full of Disney facts and fun things to do.

 

[jennycee]

We did a newsletter after the save the date as well. I have to say it worked great, everyone was very thankful and it answered a lot of questions that they had. Our phone has been ringing off the hook since the save the date's went out and since the newsletter went out, it stopped!!!

If you word it so that you don't have to actually say "if you can't afford it we understand", then I don't think it is insulting or telling them it is ok not to come. We just offered up any info they would need, thanked anyone who would be joining us. Simple and to the point. People get it, it is ok, destination weddings are very common now and I don't think you need to worry.

If you would like to see our newsletter, email me and I will be happy to send you a PDF of it.

 

[Rachael Q]

Our wedding was not a destination wedding, but DH (DF then) and I live in Canada, as do his family and friends, but all my family and friends are overseas. (Mainly Australia, England and Japan). We were married Nov 27th - which is summer in Australia so it's high season for travel, and it was the US Thanksgiving so expensive to travel in North America.

For my family it was no question they would be here, but for friends it was a big ask. From Australia it takes effectively two days of traveling to get here and two days to get home again, and for return airfare and a weeks accommodation our friends were looking at approx $2500 - $3000.00 per person just to be here!

We sent out save the dates with just the wedding info on it, later we also sent a newletter with a little more info.

About a week after we sent the save the date, we phoned each person to ask if they had received it, and at that time we brought up the topic of the cost etc and that they should feel obligated to come.

You will be surprised at the # of people who will come. We sent out invitations to 150 people, and after we went through the names we estimated 50 people would be here. I guess we underestimated - we had 90 people - thats 40 more than expected. Friends who had never been to North America used it as an excuse to travel! I had one girlfriend who arrived on Thursday afternoon from Australia and left on Sunday - she almost spent more time in transit than she actually spent here!

I think you and your mum have the right idea!