Need advice about a group in constant conflict...

[Dodie]

My DH and I belong to an organization. We are very active. I am an officer and DH is a member. We have been members for almost a year. (I don't want to get into specifics, but I imagine that you can guess the type of organization it is by looking at the tag line in my signature and below my avatar.)

I don't know how much longer we can take it.

The group is in constant turmoil. There is always a crisis. Always someone mad at someone else. It's always SOMETHING. The President is very "sensitive." It's her way or the highway. You make her mad and you're done...

It's a charitable organization with good intentions and some good people. We've just gotten to the point where we are pretty financially stable, have some publicity materials, have made some public PR appearances, etc.

We spend about 8 hours per week with these people and the stress level is really getting to me.

There's a big business meeting tomorrow night where someone is coming in to talk to us about an issue that is a bone of contention in the group. I think it will get ugly.

Do we walk away? There are other organizations who do this same activity. How much do you take in the name of "doing a good thing?"

Are all volunteer groups like this? Is this typical? Am I being unrealistic?

Any advice?

 

[Bumbles]

The group is in constant turmoil. There is always a crisis. Always someone mad at someone else. It's always SOMETHING. The President is very "sensitive." It's her way or the highway. You make her mad and you're done...

Boy, do I ever know a group like this

People doing things out of the goodness of their hearts, people getting snitty over really minor things....people start back-stabbing each other and talking smack...

My greyhound adoption group used to have this very problem...I'm not sure how to get over it..you just keep doing the best you can and remind yourself, the people who get their knickers in a twist about really minor stuff probably have really sad lives where they have nothing else going on....that group is all they have so they have to feel important somewhere in the grand scheme of things.

PS--re: the rescue dogs--did you see where Hartz is selling stuffed dog toys and they're giving a $1 of each sale to the rescue dog fund? Very cool!

 

[Goofyposter]

Do we walk away? There are other organizations who do this same activity. How much do you take in the name of "doing a good thing?"

Are all volunteer groups like this? Is this typical? Am I being unrealistic?

Dodie....after having been involved with dozens and dozens of voluteer/charity groups, personally I think you have 2 options.
One would be to orchestra a change in board membership/officers. The second is to bale....there are plenty of good groups looking for sincere people to help out with hundreds of deserving causes. I kant tellyer which of these is right for yer, but I suspect you'll know in your heart. I've actually followed both 'paths' of my own advice....in the case of the group I choose to depart from, I hear they're still an unhappy lot. In the other case...although it was at times an ugly process that group has gone onto great heights. Best of luck to you....keep your spirit high in whatever course you choice...you are doing important work!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Why is your group is in crisis all the time? Is it because you are skirting around a big problem and everyone nitpicks instead?
I would sit down and think about what is REALLY the problems are and make an attempt to correct them first.

 

[Dodie]

Why is your group is in crisis all the time? Is it because you are skirting around a big problem and everyone nitpicks instead?

Oh, believe me, we've had some of those really ugly group business meetings where we discuss the "real issues," but some people in the group are just so difficult...

And, like I said, the President (with whom I will have to admit I have become friends) is probably honestly the source of most of it. She is just very domineering.

Add to that the fact that she "founded" and incorporated the group - so ousting her or punishing her is practically out of the question.