Need a Little Advice

[Reese]

We have been to Disney several times this year without my oldest DS. He has requested to stay at home with his grandparents and take care of the animals, catch up on his schoolwork ect. He has been looking forward to coming with us in ten days (or so I thought) for our last family vacation (he's almost 17 and has said he probably won't be coming anymore. I'm really fine with this only he decides today that he really doesn't want to go. Now that we are ten days out I think it would be costly to remove him from our reservation and dining would be a nightmare. Should I just not remove him and let him stay home, try and cancel him and he can pay any penalties or make him come and put up with the unpredicatable attitude that comes with cramped quarters?

 

[DisneyRookie2007]

We have been to Disney several times this year without my oldest DS. He has requested to stay at home with his grandparents and take care of the animals, catch up on his schoolwork ect. He has been looking forward to coming with us in ten days (or so I thought) for our last family vacation (he's almost 17 and has said he probably won't be coming anymore. I'm really fine with this only he decides today that he really doesn't want to go. Now that we are ten days out I think it would be costly to remove him from our reservation and dining would be a nightmare. Should I just not remove him and let him stay home, try and cancel him and he can pay any penalties or make him come and put up with the unpredicatable attitude that comes with cramped quarters?

IMO he should be made to go - only because he led you to believe all along he was looking forward to going. I'm sure once he's there he will have a good time. Kids these days have little regard to the planning and cost of a family vacation - letting him change his mind at the last minute with little regard as to how it affects other members of the family is being selfish.

 

[LauraLap]

IMO he should be made to go - only because he led you to believe all along he was looking forward to going. I'm sure once he's there he will have a good time. Kids these days have little regard to the planning and cost of a family vacation - letting him change his mind at the last minute with little regard as to how it affects other members of the family is being selfish.

I totally agree!

 

[cdnmickeylover]

Have to agree with everyone. He should be made to go because there are consequences to cancelling this late. I'm also assuming that you were looking forward to a last family vacation with everyone going.

Hopefully he won't have too much attitude.

 

[Tinkermom76]

My 15 year old os not coming on our next trip but he decided before we booked. You can make him go but like you know he could cause everyone grief and ruin the vacation. Have you checked if it will cost you to cancel his part?.. if not I would let hime stay home and if it does cost then I would explain that to him and let him know that you really want him there and were looking forward to having him.

 

[DbleTheFun]

At 17 he is responsible/old enough to understand the financial implications of his actions. I would look into how much it is truly going to cost you to cancel his portion, and then give him 2 options:

1) Pay that portion back to you, and stay home.
2) Go on the trip and enjoy.

He needs to learn that with decisions, come consequences... and if he wants to put his money toward a trip he isnt even coming on, then that is his option.

 

[SydneyFalco]

I in NO WAY look seventeen, but I'm willing to give a shot at filling in for him if you are.

 

[bdtracey]

I'd make him go too but once he's there (depending on his maturity level of course) cut him loose. Have some ground rules in place (cell phone on at all times, back in the room by XX:XX, etc) and put whatever money he has on his card. I realize that Disney is much different than at home but he'll be at the mercy of Disney transportation (for the most part) rather than being able to roam an entire city by himself. He's likely aware of how much it will cost to remove him from the trip and, if approached positively, he may realize that he can have an amazing time on this trip. Again, this all depends on how responsible he is. Just my $0.02.

 

[Tantor]

imo he should be made to go - only because he led you to believe all along he was looking forward to going. I'm sure once he's there he will have a good time. Kids these days have little regard to the planning and cost of a family vacation - letting him change his mind at the last minute with little regard as to how it affects other members of the family is being selfish.

ita

 

[Reese]

The only reason I was considering letting him cancel this late is purely selfish....honestly I don't want to spend my entire vacation dealing with a miserable teenager. I told him if he was serious about not wanting to go he could do all the leg work and find out how much it would be to cancel and that if he was willing to pay that amount and make arrangememts that he could than stay home. I also told him I would be dissapointed as this will be our last family vacation but I would not him to make it miserable for everyone with his "fake happiness". So the ball is now in his court.

 

[Tantor]

I think that is fair..............

 

[damo]

What is the real reason he doesn't want to go? Will he be missing school?

I think it is really tough to make an outsider's decision on something like this since we have no idea what kind of kid he is and why he has had a change of heart. He may really want to go but doesn't think it is a good time for it, etc. etc.

I know that if my son all of a sudden decided he didn't think he should come with us, there would be a really, really good reason for it.

 

[SaraMc]

At 17 he is responsible/old enough to understand the financial implications of his actions. I would look into how much it is truly going to cost you to cancel his portion, and then give him 2 options:

1) Pay that portion back to you, and stay home.
2) Go on the trip and enjoy.

He needs to learn that with decisions, come consequences... and if he wants to put his money toward a trip he isnt even coming on, then that is his option.

This happened with my nephew and he was given the same options. He choose option #2 and when he got all "teenagery" all of us would call him on it and say, you know your in the happiest place on earth and you could have choosen option #1.