Naming baby after one grandmother -- what do you think?

[goofy4tink]

My ds has my father's name as his middle name. My elder dd has my mother's middle name as her middle name.
When my now 18 y/o dd was born, we wanted her middle name to be the same a dh's's mother's dearest cousin...very close to the family. BUT...that name was also my mother's first name. And we knew that no matter what, my mother would think her granddaughter and she shared a name. So..we went with a name that appeared many times on both sides of the family for her middle name...everyone was happy.

 

[mickeyboat]

We chose Marissa since it was listed in a babybook as meaning jewel of the sea- and she had such startling blue-green eyes. We used Nicole (the name we wanted-and our neice's name) for the middle name.

When our 2nd daughter was born we used my favorite name Alexandra and paired it with Marie because we have a very long, phonetic italian last name and it sounded right. Marie is also my MIL's name so my mom made the comment - how nice now both are named after your MIL.

My DDs have the same middle names as yours!

My middle name is Marie - after my Dad's aunt and my mom, Mary. DD#1's middle name is Marie after me and my mom. DD#2's middle name is Nicole, and I picked it because I liked it.

 

[shortbun]

I think it's nothing to worry about.
I was named after both my grandmothers.

 

[NotUrsula]

The must be dead rule wouldn't work in our family as it seems like there is the same name in each generation ad infinitum. Not to mention huge familes where you think they were just making up names after awhile.

It wasn't until after I chose my daughter's name that I found out that someone on my father's side had it. We weren't trying to honor anyone - we are pretty ignoble that way.

Oh, but all those cousins are not named after Aunt Irma, they are named after their common great-great-grandmother Irma, don't you know?

When the family has a tradition of naming children after relatives the lines only blur further, so that it becomes simple to state that the baby is named after great-grandma who died 60 years ago, rather than Mom who is still very much alive.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

We are Italian and the tradition is that the first kids get named after your husband's parents and then the next kids get named after the Mom's parents. My Mom and her siblings are named that way. We chose not to follow that tradition. Were some people upset? I think so but to be honest we wanted to name our kids the names that we wanted. We did use some middle names after people but that was it. I think it is silly to get upset over a name. Having a healthy baby should be what is most important imo. Babies are a miracle. Why people get hung up on the small stuff boggles my mind.

 

[fairestoneofall]

we like to use family names and have just split it up among our three kids.

DD's name: first name is after MIL's mom, middle name is after my mom

(honestly, using MIL's mom's name meant more to MIL than if we'd used her name.)

DS: first name is the Scottish version of DH's first name, middle name #1 is DH's middle name (and the name DH uses), middle name #2 is my maiden name

DS: first name is a name we liked, middle name is after FIL's dad (he was adopted during the Depression. his birth family could not take care of their kids, so they had to adopt them to other families. DS' middle name is Granddaddy's original last name. we did get Granddaddy's blessing to use it--we wanted to ensure he wouldn't be upset by it.)

so, with our three kids, we've represented both of my parents and both of DH's parents.

if this is just their first child, nobody needs to be upset about only using a name from one side of the family. and really, it isn't anyone's business but the parents, what they chose to name their baby.

on a side note, my sister's middle name is our maternal grandmother's middle name. therefore, my mom felt she had to use our paternal grandmother's middle name when i was born. i always hated that name. the minute i got married, i dropped it and used my maiden name instead.

 

[Katieinwonderland]

I honestly don't care if I offend anyone when DH and I choose the name of our baby. I mean, I'm not out to offend anyone on purpose, but I'm not choosing names based on what the family wants.

Some of the family names we have to choose from if we choose the "not until you're dead" rule include Lulu, Mildred and Chappy. Seriously.

 

[Wendy31]

Our DD's middle name is my sister's first name.

I sooo wished we had combined both our mothers' middle names - Sue & Ann - into SueAnn for her middle name, but DH didn't like it. I wish I had overruled him though! I think I'd be happier knowing that DD was named after both her grandmothers instead of my sister.

Our older DS's middle name is my maiden name.

Our younger DS's middle name is DH's younger brother's first name. DH has 2 older brothers, but he is 8 years older than his younger brother. And younger DS is 8 years younger than older DS, so it seemed to "fit".

I don't think anyone's feelings have been hurt... although, when we announced what we were naming younger DS, my dad asked if DH's other brothers would be upset.

But, like another poster mentioned, a baby can only have so many names.

 

[minniecarousel]

No - I don't think the other GMa should feel slighted. They probably like the other name better. People name their children with names they like.

 

[NYEmomma]

I don't think anyone in my family would care if we named our children after one side or the other, but I'm a bit on the paranoid side and it would be something *I* would always worry about. Which is why we don't name our children after family members.

Though I found out about 4 months after DD was born that my dad's aunt is named Violet (Dad: "Wha? We always just called her Aunt Vi"). When we picked names for our newest babies (Eleanor & Lillian) and told my parents, I asked my dad if there were any other aunts names that I needed to know about he said, "Well, I do have an Aunt Lil..." And no, he has no clue what her REAL name is. So I suspect we'll have another baby with a little known namesake as well.

 

[Kathi OD]

It probably depends on the family dynamics, the relationships, and the personalities of the people involved.

This and custom.

Our neighbors recently had their first child, a boy. He was named after his paternal grandfather, who does not have the same name as his father. Both grandfathers are alive. If the new baby had been a girl, she would have been named after the maternal grandmother.

It was explained to me that this is because it is a Greek custom and the baby's mother is Greek. (now I'm not Greek, so I don't know this for a fact, it's just what they told me.)

 

[cm8]

Our daughter has my mother's middle name as her middle name. It also is Z's Godmother's first name, so it worked beautifully. My MIL passed away 9 years ago, but my DH didn't want his mother's name as part of Z's. I don't think anyone is bothered by it. If they are...well, she's named already. Birth certificate is on the way!

Congrats on your little one

People do get hurt. My husband wanted to give our last daughter his mother's name for her middle name. I wanted it to be Grace but he said it was too old fashioned Turns around and names her Mae after his Mom Seems like he forgot about the "old fashion" part.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

My mother has two godmothers who she loved very much. We'll call them Hortense and Grace. When I was born, my parents named me Grace (well not really, but we'll go with that as the example). They loved the name, it sounded good with my sister's name, and the fact that my mom loved someone with the name made it more special. People asked her "wouldn't Hortense be upset?" but my mother said no, she thought their relationship was stronger than that.

The day after I was born Hortense called my mom and basically said "Congratulations on the new baby! What a lovely name! Please don't follow it up with one named for me. I hate my name!"

I don't think she was offended.

In contrast there's my aunt who had a deceased father named John David, a brother named John David Jr. and a FIL named David Paul (making them up again). She and her husband Frank had a baby and named him Frank David. Someone commented that it was wonderful she could honor so many people at once and she replied that the baby was NOT in honor of her father or brother. That they had only intended to honor the FIL! I think my father (John David Jr.) was hurt by that for years.

 

[mjantz]

We gave our kids family names, one from each side. DD got a 'bonus name' from my side for personal reasons & if anyone had given me attitude about it they would have received an earful. If you didn't know you'd think DD was named after my mom but she was actually named after my grandmother (both of her great-grandmothers actually).
The names aren't 'even' in that we have a maternal grandfather, paternal sibling, maternal aunt & 2 grandparents (one from each side). We went with names we liked as opposed to being 'even'.
I don't know that my kids will use my name or my DHs name. I would hope at least one but I'd understand if they wanted to go total non-family.

 

[Dragonfly_34]

I don't think it's hurtful. Our first two children were boys, but we'd always said that if we had a daughter, we'd use my husband's grandmother's name (Anastasia) for her middle name. Once we found out we were having a girl, we started talking about names again and I decided I wanted to give her my grandmother's middle name (Katherine) instead. DH's grandmother had passed away by that time, and in the 17 years we'd been together, I'd only seen her 3 times and DH wasn't very close to her. In contrast, my grandmother is still living (she's in her late 90's so I'm very thankful that she's still around and doing as well as she is), and I am very close to her. She lives in a retirement community about 4 hours away from us but we spend the weekend with her at least every 3 months. As it turns out, my grandmother and aunt had the same middle name ~ I was also close to my aunt and she passed away before my daughter was born. I felt like I was honoring both my grandmother and the memory of my aunt by giving my daughter their middle name.

 

[goofy4tink]

I honestly don't care if I offend anyone when DH and I choose the name of our baby. I mean, I'm not out to offend anyone on purpose, but I'm not choosing names based on what the family wants.

Some of the family names we have to choose from if we choose the "not until you're dead" rule include Lulu, Mildred and Chappy. Seriously.

Hey, my dog could have a child with his name??? Cool!! Ah, no, not so much. Too funny.

 

[BroganMc]

I was named after my grandmothers. It's my middle name: Rosemary. My paternal grandmother (who died before I was "even a twinkle in my Daddy's eye") was Grandmother Rose. My maternal grandmother (who I grew up with) was named Mary Gertrude. She went by the name "Gert". Thank goodness my parents hated the name Gertrude. (So did my grandmother BTW and forbid anyone to name a kid that. She was named after a nun.)

I feel honored to have these ladies remembered in my name. Wish I'd known my Grandmother Rose. She sounds like a terrific lady. I adored my Nana Gert though. She was so much fun. As far as I know, I'm the only one of the grandkids to have that honor. My cousins and brothers do have their grandfather's names as middle name, but only I got the grandmothers. Sometimes I like to think it means I have these two ladies working as my guardian angels. Something has to explain my continued existence in life.

My siblings named their kids after the grandparents. My mom's middle name Ann was used while my dad's first name Robert is in several grandsons' names. But each kid has their own unique first name. The middle name is reserved for places of honor. The most creative was my Thai BIL who gave his son a middle name which has the same meaning as Robert but in Thai.

Only thing that ever "bugged" me is when my siblings used names I wanted for my storybook characters. I had to strike several off my list of possible heroes and heroines. It's just too weird writing a romance novel with the name of your niece or nephew playing the lead. (Mind you, I wasn't that bothered, more bemused. At least it showed sometimes my siblings had really good taste.)

 

[katrina1122]

When I was born my dad's mom was alive, as was my mom's stepmom. They used my mom's mother's name as my middle name (she'd passed away when my mom was young.) Neither of my grandmother's were offended.

 

[2girls4me]

My oldest is not named for anyone, we choose a pretty name.

My youngest's middle name is part of my moms first name. My sister did the same for her dd.

It wasnt to hurt my mil. I wanted to name my dd after my mom.

My dh had 2 brothers, so there are more chances for grandkids.