My weekend family drama. What'd I do wrong?..LONG

[Jennasis]

So I am in Atlanta this weekend attending the wedding of one of my dearest cousins. Naturally there has been some drama (the bride's family, particularly her mother, is a piece of work...but that's for another day). I am staying at a local hotel for the weekend with my sister "Sally". She and I are sharing a room and my other sister and her boyfriend are sharing the room right next to us.

Sally and I had a bit of a tiff earlier this evening (around 11:30pm...right after the wedding ended). Everyone was planning to leave the wedding after it ended and take the "party" to my aunt's house (she is the groom's mom.) This area of Georgia apparently has blue laws in effect that says you can't buy alcohol on Sundays. The party goers wanted/needed to stop at a store after the wedding to buy beer for the BBQ/cookout they are having tomorrow (Sunday). Well, seeing as it was 11:30pm already, and the drive to my aunt's house was another 10 minutes, I urged the partiers still left at the wedding (my two sisters, the boyfriend and my two cousins) to shake a leg.

Sally (27 years old mind you) starts throwing a hissy fit about how we need to go back to our hotel first so she can change out of her dress and into sweats. I try to convince her that time is of the essence in getting to a store to get the beer for the BBQ but she is unrelenting. She has to change...NOW.

PS...I am the ONLY sober person. Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) is rip roaring, screaming drunk. So I am naturally the designated driver. I've also got a minivan (on loan from my MIL for the trip to the wedding) that can accomodate all the people that need to make the trip to my aunts

So I kowtow, and say FINE...let's go change. I get us back to the hotel at 11:45pm, and try to light a fire under everyone to get moving so we can get to the store. Sally is futzing around our room...so I tell her that we need to go. She then tells me that she needs a minute, she is going to go smoke a cigarette with our cousin.

First...WTH??? Since when does she smoke?? But whatever...one, we don't have time for them to smoke, and TWO there is no way I can let her smoke a cigarette and then get into my car. I have my mother-in-law's minivan, which she graciously lent me to take on the trip to Atlanta (from NC where I live). There's no way I can let stale ciggie stink permeate her van. I tell my sister to just hold off on the cig until we get to my aunt's house (10 minutes away).

She gets all huffy, telling me how stupid I'm being (meanwhile wasting MORE time to get to the precious beer store) and disappears...to go smoke her cigarette anyway.

I'm cheesed off, but 5 minutes later, she comes whipping back to our room, tears off her sweatshirt and starts grumbling "THERE...SEE...it's fine. I changed my STINKY shirt just for you."

We all pile in the van again and get to the gas station (only store open now) at 11:55pm, managing to skirt under the midnight blue law deadline by minutes. Meanwhile my sister is still pissing and moaning about how difficult and stupid I was for giving her a hard time about smoking and getting in my MIL's van (which she did anyway). Then she starts wheedling away at me "Oh what? Are you MAD at me? You gonna be MAD all night? This is BS, I don't even wanna go to aunt so-and-so's now...should've just stayed at the hotel."

Meanwhile, i had said NOTHING. I actually ignored her the whole time in the parking lot of the store while I composed a text to my DH about how crazy Dsis was. When she started the "you gonna be MAD all night" crap, I told her to just drop it. The cousins and other sis (all drunk) in the back seat are trying to get her to shut up, but she starts carrying on and on "No...you're being ridiculous...blah blah blah". When Dsis is wasted she gets very righteous about stuff. And mean. During the wedding she got super angry at my cousin when he refused to let her do a SECOND keg-stand (because the first one she did we didn't get a good enough picture of her. What is this? A college frat party or a wedding??)

So I finally yell at her. "You want to go back to the hotel? FINE." I tear out of the parking lot and head back to the hotel. Then I get the "no...whatever...let's just go."

So I take the drunkards to my aunt's house. Sister is giving me the silent treatment all night. When we got back to the hotel a little while ago (around 1:30) Sally still hadn't spoken a single word to me. She storms out of our room, slamming the door so hard I thought she broke it (mind you...hotel...1:30am...other people trying to sleep) and goes to get herself another room and packs up her stuff in a silent huff and moves herself out of our room. This was of course after spending the whole ride back to the hotel sniffling loudly, crying and waiting for someone to try and "console" her. I personally don't feel like I did anything wrong enough to warrant her outrageous reaction. All I asked was for her not to smoke before getting into my MIL's car and she did it anyway, and yes I was ticked off.

Family...ugh.

My other sister and my mom and dad seem to think this is de rigeur for Sally when she gets drunk. I think it's completely unacceptable behavior. So, did I do something wrong? The other family witnesses say no (though they were all drunk...can you really trust their judgment?).

I am not a tea totaller. I don't have problem with everyone getting hammered, particularly since they had a reliable designated driver to see them all safely home. In fact, I kind of like being the only lucid one when everyone else is slurring and acting a-fool...makes for good stories the day after! My issue was with my sister's behavior towards me.

 

[Evil Genius]

I find it ironic that you are moaning about everyone being drunk, but yet you are the one pushing everyone to "shake a leg" so that you can stop and buy beer for the next day.

 

[nmmom95]

No, I don't think you did anything wrong. I had a friend in college who got like that when she drank. It's tough to be the only sober one. Perfectly normal and otherwise wonderful people can make you crazy when they are drunk and you are the only rational person around. I hope your day gets better!

 

[Jennasis]

I find it ironic that you are moaning about everyone being drunk, but yet you are the one pushing everyone to "shake a leg" so that you can stop and buy beer for the next day.

I do not drink...at all...ever. The beer was at the request of the brother of the groom, who was coincidentally, ALSO drunk and in the van with me. He even went in the store and bought it while I waited with the others in the car. No irony there. You know what they say about when you assume...

 

[dicar123]

So, your sister is an annoying mean drunk. Let's hope that she is contrite when she sobers up.

I think the best you might get is an apology tomorrow, but frankly, she may not remember her behavior or even believe she acted like such a jerk. Certainly, a lecture will not change the way she behaves the next time she's drunk.

I'd blow it off and make sure that at any future event which might involve drinking, that you can stay far away from sis.

 

[Imzadi]

So, your sister is an annoying mean drunk.

She also sounds passive-aggressive, manipulative and guilt-tripping. Hope she acts better when she is sober. Let it go.

 

[just4today]

I would have been really nervous driving all those drunk people around in my MIL's van to begin with. Somebody could have hurled and then you'd have a real stink to deal with.

But no... I don't think you did anything wrong at all. I got that the beer stop was you doing a favor for somebody else.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Sounds to me like the only thing you did wrong was agreeing to share a room with someone you knew would be drinking and knew tends to act like this when drunk. For your own protection in the future you should probably avoid being in such situations. It sounds like you had an awful night

 

[NMAmy]

Really, you can't expect drunk people to make a whole lot of sense. I don't really understand why everyone had to go with you to buy beer. I think I'd have taken the money and the beer orders and just gone on my own or with the minimum number of drunks required to assist.

I understand your frustration with your sister--she was being a brat. But I believe I would have ditched them all to get the chore taken care of without the "help" of people who were being a pain in the patootie.

Just think--they'll all be hung over this morning and you can talk REALLY LOUDLY.

 

[bas71873]

I sympathize with you OP. I've had a rough weekend myself since the **** hit the fan this weekend between me and my SIL.....who I just found out has been logging into and reading ALL of my brother's email (he didn't know either until yesterday). Emails between a brother and a sister that were meant to stay between us.....she's an only child and I don't think she likes very much that little brother and I talk about lots of stuff.....marriage issues, our kids, jobs, he's overseas in the Coast Guard and yes, we vent to each other, etc. Things are not good and I woke up this AM with a the worst crying hangover I've ever had.

Sorry, didn't mean to hi-jack. I just can relate. Family. UGH!

 

[Christine]

The only thing you did wrong was give in to Sally and take her back to the room to change. Drunks are not dependable. You must treat them like Kindergarteners and you are teacher (designated driver). YOU make the rules. I think if you had first gone to the store, it may have just fizzled out.

I agree with a PP who said, it would have probably been best if you had just gone there by yourself.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would have been really nervous driving all those drunk people around in my MIL's van to begin with. Somebody could have hurled and then you'd have a real stink to deal with.

But no... I don't think you did anything wrong at all. I got that the beer stop was you doing a favor for somebody else.

MTE!

Really, you can't expect drunk people to make a whole lot of sense. I don't really understand why everyone had to go with you to buy beer. I think I'd have taken the money and the beer orders and just gone on my own or with the minimum number of drunks required to assist.

I understand your frustration with your sister--she was being a brat. But I believe I would have ditched them all to get the chore taken care of without the "help" of people who were being a pain in the patootie.

Just think--they'll all be hung over this morning and you can talk REALLY LOUDLY.

Truer words have not been spoken.

The wedding does not sound like a lot of fun for you. No telling how your sister will react now that she is sober. Maybe if you let it go, she will. But it doesn't sound like that is her nature. Sometimes I think when people drink, it magnifies who they really are and what they really think. I guess time will tell.

 

[Kath2003]

I think the moral of this story is never offer to be a DD at a wedding where alcohol is plentiful.

And never share hotel rooms with family. Get your own.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I think the moral of this story is never offer to be a DD at a wedding where alcohol is plentiful.

And never share hotel rooms with family. Get your own.

Yep. That chapter would be a done deal.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

There were keg stands at the wedding???

No, I don't think you did anything wrong. Asking your sister not to smoke before get into you MIL's van is a no brainer. Sorry she acted like a twit.

 

[Disney Doll]

See bolded

So I am in Atlanta this weekend attending the wedding of one of my dearest cousins. Naturally there has been some drama (the bride's family, particularly her mother, is a piece of work...but that's for another day). I am staying at a local hotel for the weekend with my sister "Sally". She and I are sharing a room mistake #1 on your part and my other sister and her boyfriend are sharing the room right next to us.

Sally and I had a bit of a tiff earlier this evening (around 11:30pm...right after the wedding ended). Everyone was planning to leave the wedding after it ended and take the "party" to my aunt's house (she is the groom's mom.) This area of Georgia apparently has blue laws in effect that says you can't buy alcohol on Sundays. The party goers wanted/needed to stop at a store after the wedding to buy beer for the BBQ/cookout they are having tomorrow (Sunday). Well, seeing as it was 11:30pm already, and the drive to my aunt's house was another 10 minutes, I urged the partiers still left at the wedding (my two sisters, the boyfriend and my two cousins) to shake a leg.

Sally (27 years old mind you) starts throwing a hissy fit about how we need to go back to our hotel first so she can change out of her dress and into sweats. I try to convince her that time is of the essence in getting to a store to get the beer for the BBQ but she is unrelenting. She has to change...NOW. Since you are the driver, the van goes where you want it to.
PS...I am the ONLY sober person. Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) is rip roaring, screaming drunk. So I am naturally the designated driver. I've also got a minivan (on loan from my MIL for the trip to the wedding) that can accomodate all the people that need to make the trip to my aunts

So I kowtow, Mistake #2 and say FINE...let's go change. I get us back to the hotel at 11:45pm, and try to light a fire under everyone to get moving so we can get to the store. Sally is futzing around our room...so I tell her that we need to go. She then tells me that she needs a minute, she is going to go smoke a cigarette with our cousin.

First...WTH??? Since when does she smoke?? But whatever...one, we don't have time for them to smoke, and TWO there is no way I can let her smoke a cigarette and then get into my car. I have my mother-in-law's minivan, which she graciously lent me to take on the trip to Atlanta (from NC where I live). There's no way I can let stale ciggie stink permeate her van. I tell my sister to just hold off on the cig until we get to my aunt's house (10 minutes away).

She gets all huffy, telling me how stupid I'm being (meanwhile wasting MORE time to get to the precious beer store) and disappears...to go smoke her cigarette anyway.
At that point I would have gone to get the beer and left her at the hotel.
I'm cheesed off, but 5 minutes later, she comes whipping back to our room, tears off her sweatshirt and starts grumbling "THERE...SEE...it's fine. I changed my STINKY shirt just for you."

We all pile in the van again and get to the gas station (only store open now) at 11:55pm, managing to skirt under the midnight blue law deadline by minutes. Meanwhile my sister is still pissing and moaning about how difficult and stupid I was for giving her a hard time about smoking and getting in my MIL's van (which she did anyway). Then she starts wheedling away at me "Oh what? Are you MAD at me? You gonna be MAD all night? This is BS, I don't even wanna go to aunt so-and-so's now...should've just stayed at the hotel."

Meanwhile, i had said NOTHING. I actually ignored her the whole time in the parking lot of the store while I composed a text to my DH about how crazy Dsis was. When she started the "you gonna be MAD all night" crap, I told her to just drop it. The cousins and other sis (all drunk) in the back seat are trying to get her to shut up, but she starts carrying on and on "No...you're being ridiculous...blah blah blah". When Dsis is wasted she gets very righteous about stuff. And mean. During the wedding she got super angry at my cousin when he refused to let her do a SECOND keg-stand (because the first one she did we didn't get a good enough picture of her. What is this? A college frat party or a wedding??)

So I finally yell at her. "You want to go back to the hotel? FINE." I tear out of the parking lot and head back to the hotel. Then I get the "no...whatever...let's just go."

So I take the drunkards to my aunt's house. Sister is giving me the silent treatment all night. This sounds like a good thing to me...then you didn't have to deal with her. When we got back to the hotel a little while ago (around 1:30) Sally still hadn't spoken a single word to me. She storms out of our room, slamming the door so hard I thought she broke it (mind you...hotel...1:30am...other people trying to sleep) and goes to get herself another room and packs up her stuff in a silent huff and moves herself out of our room. Yet another good thing This was of course after spending the whole ride back to the hotel sniffling loudly, crying and waiting for someone to try and "console" her. I personally don't feel like I did anything wrong enough to warrant her outrageous reaction. All I asked was for her not to smoke before getting into my MIL's car and she did it anyway, and yes I was ticked off.

Family...ugh.

My other sister and my mom and dad seem to think this is de rigeur for Sally when she gets drunk. I'm sure it is. I think it's completely unacceptable behavior. Indeed it is but apparently it has been allowed before and so she thinks it's acceptable based on that. So, did I do something wrong? Well, "wrong" is kind of subjective. If you mean did you treat your annoying drunk sister badly, then no. You were much nicer than I would have been. But, you were the sober one and therefore needed to take the bull by the horns and make the decisions you needed to make and tell Sally "we are leaving now get in the cra or find another way home". Presumably Sally is an adult and not a minor child, so leaving her would not have been considered child neglect. The other family witnesses say no (though they were all drunk...can you really trust their judgment?). Technically, no, but they are right in this case.

I am not a tea totaller. I don't have problem with everyone getting hammered, particularly since they had a reliable designated driver to see them all safely home. In fact, I kind of like being the only lucid one when everyone else is slurring and acting a-fool...makes for good stories the day after! My issue was with my sister's behavior towards me.

Your sister is a stupid drunk. She should apologize for her behavior, she probably won't. My guess is that she hasn't in the past. Next time a family event comes up, let her fend for herself. Then you are out of the drama.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Have a safe trip home. Hopefully, your sister will apologize for her drunken behavior.

 

[LoraJ]

Your sister sounds like a child. I do not think you need to apologize to her.

I'm in NC now for a family wedding. Thank goodness no drama!

 

[BelleWDW]

I find it ironic that you are moaning about everyone being drunk, but yet you are the one pushing everyone to "shake a leg" so that you can stop and buy beer for the next day.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[MissyDVC]

My thoughts exactly!

I believe she already stated that she doesn't drink and was doing her relatives a favor for their party the next day