My teen doesn't want to go

[Jamesfam]

Just told my 3 kiddos that I booked a 4 day cruise in January. 2 were excited but my 16 year old not so much. I booked this particular cruise because he has a few days off from school that week. He's pretty adamant he doesn't want to go and I'm not sure it's worth it to make him. He has been on 5 other Disney cruises so it's not like he's never been, but the idea of him not coming along makes me so sad. His grandmother said he can stay with her, so I wouldn't have to worry about that. Anyone else have this issue? And do I or don't I have him go?

 

[birdmom]

nope my girls are 21 and 17 and still make me take them

 

[Cackyschmackers]

That is sad! I understand bc I'm headed in the same direction. .. my 14 yr old is adamant about not being pulled out of school any more for any family vacations. I snuck in a quick WDW trip at the start of school this past year and another short winter break beach getaway. But our upcoming cruise is over summer break bc of that. I have no advice for you except talk it out. .. Will any school days be missed? Is that the issue? Or does he just feel he's outgrown DCL? I certainly cannot imagine not having our entire family together to enjoy the cruise, so I understand why it's so upsetting for you.

 

[Carrie in AZ]

Just experienced the same with DD17, only difference being it was a trip to DL. I was SO disappointed. And, honestly, I felt angry. With both our girls growing up so quickly I want as much family time as possible. I was pretty heartbroken DD didn't want to go. She would have made us all miserable if we had made her go so we did not, I stayed home with her. DH went with DD13 and they had a magical time.

This parenting thing is not easy. I really feel for you.

 

[cruiser21]

Kids go through puberty and aliens come and suck their brains out. I've heard they don't get them back until their 25. All kidding aside I know it's disappointing. We want them to stay that little kid that wanted to do everything with us. I think you just have to except it. They are becoming independent and figuring things out.

I always tell people to travel as much as possible before your kids become teens....... because you just never know what's going to happen. I have one teen that loves to do stuff with me, and I honestly think he always will. I have another that doesn't. He got armpit hair. grew 6 inches, and then all of a sudden he was a different kid. He's still a super, great kid, but his interests have changed. I was the same way as a teen so I have no business complaining.

Like pp said parenting teens is definitely tough.

 

[aggiedog]

I have one teen that likes to travel but really does not like to cruise. She's a deep introvert and the crowds get her. That said, I'm not willing to spend all our vacations in a cabin away from humanity. Lol. I try to balance our activities with some down time.
Perhaps you can find out exactly why your teen doesn't want to go and modify your plans to accommodate him?

 

[Felicis]

I would check in exactly why they don't want to go. Is there something on at home they want to be around for? Is it a person of interest? I personally would consider leaving them with the grandparent only if they can articulate a reason for staying behind (other than because I want to). Not saying that the reason has to be something I, as an adult, relates to or understands even, but it has to be something!

 

[Otimon]

Any possibility of your son's best friend going along as well - someone to pal around with on the ship? Might make it more appealing
for him to go. Good luck and Bon Voyage.

 

[Dopey416]

Just give the 16 year old some space and believe me, he may come back to loving Disney. We live in Miami and until my kids were 12 and 13 we would go to WDW at least every two months. Then at 12 and 13 they didn't want to go anymore, we had done one cruise. Once they were 20 and 21 the love of Disney all of the sudden came back. They're 29 and 30 (boy/girl) now and my daughter is a DVC member, we're going on our 10th cruise this coming September and go to WDW every three months. As long as he can stay with grandma, let the other 2 enjoy the cruise.

 

[tink1970]

DH and I are getting read to embark on the Dover-BCN cruise (Friday!!) with my parents for this exact same reason...I had booked the Baltic for May with my 16 year old DD but she declined. So we changed the cruise and now I have my parents and husband. DD is actually my favorite travel companion so I hear you, I was pretty disappointed but realize this is the stage of her life where she has to separate a bit. Sigh...

 

[quickcat]

I hear you about it making you sad that he doesn't want to go with. I agree with the others, let him stay home this time. He may change his mind when it gets closer though, our 17 year old always says he isn't going but when I am making final payment or buying the plane tickets I always ask if he is sure and every time he changes his mind and says he will come along. Good luck

 

[cruisehopeful]

It will probably take some fun out of the trip if you make him go when he doesn't want to. It's just a bad age for dragging someone along who doesn't want to be there. I'd leave him on the reservation as long as you can without having to pay a penalty in case he changes his mind, but plan on letting him stay at grandma's. Spending a few days alone with grandma might end up being a really nice thing for the two of them.

 

[CamColt]

Oh that's a tough one! When my DSs were younger (6 and 9) we surprised them with a cruise, the morning we were leaving and the 9 YO was adamant he wasn't going. Of course in that situation we made him go (and never surprised him again), but your situation with a teen and this far in advance is different. I don't really have any good advice for you but I hope it all works out.

Ironically now that my kids are 20 and 17, they would be upset if we cruised without them. We can get by doing a park trip alone, but I'm not sure about the cruise anymore.

 

[BLTtinkerbell]

I agree with others who said to find out why he doesn't want to go. Is it he doesn't want to miss school? Sports? Something else going on at home, he doesn't want to miss? Does he just not want to go on a cruise?

For one of my cruises, my then 20 year old didn't want to come because he had a great opportunity to live at the beach and work with some friends from high school for that summer. We didn't make him come with us and while we did miss him, everyone enjoyed their summer. We recently all went on the Dream together and talked about that summer. No regrets from anyone and we all appreciated being able to go on this cruise together.

I think once you find out why he doesn't want to go, you will be able to make the right decision.

Good luck!

 

[mevelandry]

Just told my 3 kiddos that I booked a 4 day cruise in January. 2 were excited but my 16 year old not so much. I booked this particular cruise because he has a few days off from school that week. He's pretty adamant he doesn't want to go and I'm not sure it's worth it to make him. He has been on 5 other Disney cruises so it's not like he's never been, but the idea of him not coming along makes me so sad. His grandmother said he can stay with her, so I wouldn't have to worry about that. Anyone else have this issue? And do I or don't I have him go?

If he's done it before and does not want to go... then I guess he should stay with his grandmother.

 

[Rabb it]

Gosh, maybe he's gotten to the point where Disney isn't "cool" anymore? That's a tough age, he's in high school, trying to fit in and what not, maybe he's concerned what his buddies will think.. Or perhaps he had a bad experience on the last cruise at the kids club or something?

It really stinks, but what can you do. I suppose if you dragged him along I'm SURE he would get into the spirit when he got there and was immersed in the magic again. But, I don't know if he's the type to hold a grudge during the cruise or not..

 

[NewsMom]

I'm pretty sure all kids are supposed to complain about family vacations at a certain point. Just like I'm sure that when my son does that, my job is to tell him "Tough luck. You're coming." He's free to sit in the stateroom and mope, but I bet that gets boring and he ventures out and at some point, you say "Hey, let's do this" and he will reply "Aw, really, I was going to go XXXXXX with XXXX."

 

[SteveMP]

Tell him he can get the internet package so he can facetime her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

[FigmentSpark]

My DS14 begged to go to New York with his friend's family instead of a cruise (his first), but it was paid for, so he was going. He had a great time and is looking forward to going back.

But teens that age are all about their friends, not family. Take what you can get, but if you make him come with you, make sure you'll be able to get him to do stuff, or he might make everyone miserable... or buy him a couple of gigs of wifi time.

 

[danzma]

Last cruise my DS was 16. Hard age, too old for the family pools with their crowds and the noise, but not old enough for the adult areas. He also was not a fan of the teen club. As a result, we skipped cruising this year and booked a high school graduation trip for next summer when he'll be 18 and can join us in the adult areas. He's VERY excited!