My son's hockey dilemma

[ADisneygirl]

My 16 y.o son plays ice hockey and has always played as a foward. For those not in the know, that means the player who gets the puck, goes after the puck, tries to score, etc.

Well, we just returned home from HS try outs and they put him on defense. These are the players who try and keep the puck out of the goal, they spend most of the game skating backwards. He is very upset. He told them that he doesn't feel comfortable playing that position, but they just said "you're doing fine, you're doing fine, you'll get better at it". During the drills he absentmindedly went up to offense, and they yelled at him to get back in position.

Now we are home from try outs, and he doesn't know if he wants to play for them. Everyone made the team that tried out. They even need more players than they had show up for try outs because hockey can be grueling and tiring and they need three lines to change off the players to get some rest between ice times. This team will only have 2 lines. It's not cheap, so I only want him to play if he enjoys himself. It is over $1200 a season, not including a jersey or tournaments. He is feeling very agitated and unsure, and he is usually a very self assured kid.

Any ideas why they would just arbitrarily place someone out of their position? He didn't play for them last season -- he was on a travel team. They never even gave him a chance to play offense at the try out so they don't know how he would do.

I am just feeling bad for my baby. It doesn't seem fair.

 

[lesroi]

Well, I think if he doesn't WANT to play, don't make him play. It's a lot of money to throw away.

I think maybe the coaches thought either he needed to try something new or maybe there were better kids for offense?

At any rate, if he does play, I think this would be a good life lesson about making lemons from lemonade. After all, not a lot of kids get to even play hockey since it is such an expensive sport.

Good luck!

Tracy

 

[njzieglers]

I'm an ice hockey dad, and we experienced something pretty similar.
Your son probably knows a lot of this, but here goes.
Many times they want the better skaters on defense. Defensemen usually cover more of the ice per shift. My son is a terriffic skater, but his scoring is not as good as most forwards.
Defensemen also need to be quick to set up a play when the puck is turned over in their zone.
Sometimes coaches will see other things that they would like on their defense. Things like, size, toughness, agressiveness.
Unless it's one of these "sweetheart" deals, and all sports have them, I don't think he should be discouraged.
There's nothing more beautiful than when a defenseman scores.
Wayne Gretsky and Jaromir Jagr are great, but who doesn't love the great Bobby Orr skating and scoring with the best of them?

My son also knows now that he can play any skating position in any game.
It also changed the way I watch hockey, gave me a whole new appreciation for defensive hockey.

Hope that helps, and I hope he stays with it.

 

[#1MMFan]

I would have thought that combined with njzieglers' post, the coaches maybe just want to change things around, and it might be good for your son to see another aspect of the game. I've been on defence and in goal too. I'm not as fast as the forwards, but I can probably skate backwards at least at their level if not better and overall I'm heavier (I'm older) so that's why defence suits me more. I know it is an expensive game, but I'd be hesitant about letting him give up when you've paid a fair amount already for his equipment (I presume) and also because I have relatives who have let their kids give up on loads of things and they become "jacks of all trades, and masters of none". I think it instills the wrong values in kids. JMHO

 

[#1hockeymom]

My son is younger than yours at 13, but I saw his D game go way up after he played a few shifts of offense during some games this spring. Sometimes seeing the other side of things makes their "real" game get better. For the record. My son plays defense and hates offense.

Also, as I am sure you know... a position at the beginning of the season frequently changes as the season goes on due to the roster changing.

Good luck!

 

[EdiePA]

but my son played football for years. He was always the center, the one who gets the ball to the quarterback. He loved that position. His senior year of high school, they moved him to tackle. Talk about an upset kid, but I convinced him it was his Sr. year and not to give up something he loved. He ended up playing offense and defense and was given an award at the end of the year for being the most versatile and having the best attitude. It really taught him more of the game and also a life lesson.

If he really loves hockey, I'd encourage him to continue. There are more stars on the ice than just the forwards.

Edie

 

[kristen821]

Things may change before the actual season starts. Defense is really important and the coaches may have felt they needed a strong player there. I would try it out and he may end up loving defense.

 

[salmoneous]

Two words for your son: Bobby Orr

Defense is awesome - you get more ice time than forwards, you get to hit (excuse me, check) people more. But the bigger picture is that your son is 16, and like a lot of 16-year olds in a lot of sports, he thinks the game is just trying to put the puck in the net. It sounds like the coach is doing exactly the right thing here. Your son will learn vastly more about the game spending time on defense.

Also, one of the reasons we encourage our kids to play sports is to learn the value of teamwork - of putting aside personal wants for the needs of the team. It's not always a fun lesson - especially to a 16-year old boy - but it is perhaps the most important thing he will take away from hockey.

And just in case none of that "good for you stuff" sinks in and he still is depressed about playing the crappy position of defense, just refer back to Bobby Orr (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Orr)

 

[#1hockeymom]

Nick Lidstrom is another fine example!

 

[ADisneygirl]

Thanks everyone for the good advice and kindly meant words. I also believe strongly in being a team player. There are many life lessons to be learned from team sports. My son also plays baseball for his HS. That is his main love. He has played ice hockey on a rec league for a couple of years, and on a travel team for a year. Travel offers the opportunity to play with and against players of your caliber. The rec league has both good players and basically beginners.

The reason he wanted to play HS hockey is because it offers the opportunity to play with and against good players and it is local. There are only 2 rinks we would travel between. While on his travel team, he played all over Florida. It got to be too much travelling.

I don't disparage any defenseman. I think they are all very talented and certainly defensemen are highly skilled. My son's dilemma was not in thinking less of defensemen as in not getting to play the only position he knows. The reason he was singled out is a mystery. Coach must have needed a defenseman and my son can skate backward. I understand about coaches switching things up, but I guess my concern or rather his is that he plays hockey to have fun. He knows he's not getting a hockey scholarship to college or playing in the NHL. He just does it for fun, and he says its not fun for him to play defense when he feels he doesn't play that position well. He said he felt like he didn't know what he was doing out there. He also absentmindedly went up to his foward position and got yelled at to "get in your position".

So, he isn't awake yet, so I don't know his final decision. We'll see what happens. At any rate, he can still play in the rec league so he is not giving up hockey.

 

[#1MMFan]

Oh totally, I understand. I just started playing baseball - last week actually - and I don't seem to have a scooby, but whatever the case, I hope he keeps playing in some form or another.

 

[Laurajean1014]

My DS has been playing hockey since he was 5. He loves the sport. He was a wing for a long time and then a great coach put him on D. We didn't question it because the coach was such a knowledgable and trained hockey athlete. The coach's reasoning: he's my best skater (technique, speed) and he's tall and intimidating.

My son played D and after a few games fell in love with the position. He played over 1200 minutes on ice last (winter) season. (that's more than double of the forwards).

D is a harder position because if D makes a mistake, it's up to the goalie. If a F makes a mistake it's not as visible or they have there D to hold the line.

Also, as your son gets older, good D is very hard to find. So, if he's good, he could pick the team he wants to play on or may get a scholarship for college.

Consider this an opportunity not a dilemma.

PM if you have any questions....

 

[bballmom56]

My thought reading this was that he probably showed good ability to play D. Maybe the most of anyone there. Perhaps he should take it as a compliment! It will also make him more valuable as a player if he can play multiple positions. DS goes through the same thing with bball. He started as a forward since he was one of the tallest, then as everyone grew, he ended up playing guard (which at first he complained about), and now is really suited as a shooting guard. However, depending on the players that are on his team, he can play any one of the 5 court positions, and on his spring team actually would take the jump for the tip-off, and played point guard - go figure!

 

[eeyore45]

Chiming in with 2 ds' that played hockey - one did just do the rink league, he liked it ok, not loved it...

my oldest played travel hockey, from the age of 5 - quite shocking - we've had good and bad (horrible) coaches... ran into more politics than I ever imagined... and thru it all, my son just wanted to play... He loved hockey that much, he got more out of hockey than I could ever imagine!! He started out as a wingman, and made quite a few scores... but he couldnt hear well enough, and a Defensive Coach grabbed him for his "team" - and the rest was "history"... (so I echo all the other sentiments on going from offense to Defense)

Then dh lost his job, and we could no longer fund hockey - we tried to hold out one last season - High school hockey - but it was just too big a drain...

and it was so hard on ds not to play hockey - to hang up his skates - we couldnt even watch hockey for a long time...

so just consider that side of it also... never playing again... and if you switch to Defense, please evaluate your shoulder pads - the Defensive Shoulder pads cover more area - and is a must!!

DS now is 21 is playing LaCrosse - he's center and offense... not sure if Lacrosse has trickled down to FL - but keep it in mind!! (of course then you have to learn a whole new offside rule!!)

Good Luck - I'd vote play D!!! Esp on your HS team!!

 

[deno2]

Another hockey mom here - my DS 11, was switched to defense, (after always playing forward) during Spring League this year. The coach went to my son and explained that even though he was one of the top scorers, he needed to put his strongest skaters on D. My son was flattered that he was considered one of the strongest skaters, (having started hockey at age 9). He did an awesome job on D, (even scored once) and when it came time to sign up for summer hockey camp, he requested to work on defense at both camps. I think a lot of the time, it's all in how the coach presents the change to the player. Travel hockey practice starts in a couple of weeks and DS said that he wants to play where ever coach needs him.
If your son truly loves the sport, I hope that he sticks with it and gives defense a try. You have been a hockey parent far longer that I have and know your son better than anyone, I'm sure you will give him the best guidance possible.

deno

 

[golfgal]

Chiming in as a coach (not hockey but basketball). Often coaches see things differently and put players at different positions then they have 'always played" (which I don't like to begin with). One of the most successful basketball coaches in Minnesota had a philosophy that everyone plays every position. As a result, he has one of the best winning records in the state. One year their 'center' played the chaser position on their full court press, why, she was the quickest player and and an amazing arm span. She was also one of the best ball handlers on the team. She went on to be one of the top defensive players in the country for Division I basketball.

It could be he has more then enough forwards and your son shows potential on defense. It could be like other said and he has the skills to play defense. If it were my child I would say that he had to try the new position for a month or whatever and if at the end of that time he still didn't like it, he could quit the team.

 

[4chitlins]

I would say let him continue. You never know what will happen later in the season,and it is a long season. My son is a goalie, and anytime at this point that someone else on the team wants to be a goalie they let them try it and my son will sit out half of the game. He doesn't like sitting but does it because he loves the game and will do whatever is best for the team.

 

[Jeafl]

My husband has coached hockey for 10 years so I asked him.

He said it could be that your son was one of the strongest backward skaters. Skating backwards is critical for a defenseman, and although all hockey players your son's age can skate backwards, they need the fastest ones on defense.

Also, sometimes teams have 3 lines of offense and only 2 of defense, which means the defensemen usually have more ice time. Maybe the coach felt your son's skills were good enough to handle the extra ice time.

Being switched from offense to defense is NOT a "demotion" of any kind. Look at it this way, he will be a more well-rounded player when all is said and done.