My son.....the next Martin Luther

[6_Time_Momma]

Bradley is taking classes for Confirmation in the Spring. He is not happy with them. He typed out a letter tonight for the priest and the teacher asking questions and protesting. He is not happy that he has to take 26 2-hour classes just to "prove" he wants to be Catholic. He is mad because once a month, they "force" him to go to mass on Sunday with the class (we usually go on Saturday evening as a family). He is upset because they give homework every week in addition to his school homework. And finally, he questions the fact that he is required to go on a $70 retreat. He says "My family can't afford that extra money. Does that make me less deserving of being a Catholic?!"

He showed it to me tonight. I asked him if he was going to nail it to the church door.

 

[Sparx]

He showed it to me tonight. I asked him if he was going to nail it to the church door.

He just might. That seems very strict. (although I am a history buff and I liked the connection)

 

[Kermit]

LOL! That's too cute.

I impressed that he wrote it all out. That's very mature. You've done a good job, Mom.

 

[MrsNick]

Wow! Sounds like a smart cookie.

 

[Lil_Tink]

Lol. Good for him

 

[Deb & Bill]

Maybe you could be a bit more supportive, like go as a family on the Sunday he goes with the class. Could you help him earn the $70 for the retreat? Usually these retreats are lots of fun as well as a great learning experience.

Maybe he needs a better understanding of what Confirmation is all about. It's a whole process, teaching the young adult what it really means to be a Catholic, not just a two hour visit with the Bishop. Maybe he's just not ready for Confirmation?

In our parish, Confirmation is a two year process, plus community service. Even if the kid goes to Catholic High School with Religion classes, they have to enroll in Confirmation classes that meet on Sunday evening. When our son made his first Reconciliation and First Eucharist in 2nd grade, he did it all through his Religion class at Catholic School, no additional classes. Confirmation is different.

 

[disykat]

Sounds like a typical teen. Did he get the Martin Luther reference?

 

[eeyore kelly]

I remeber when I confirmed, it seemed like a lot of work. We had to write a letter to the bishop (like he ever read them) stating why we wanted to confirm. Write a report on our Saint Name, go to a lot of classes and do a lot of extra stuff.

If I complained, it was a really big deal, because I was very active in the church with peer ministry, retreat teams, and the teen service mass.

I don't think that his feelings have anything to do with his being ready for confirmation, I think he is totally right about it being too much work

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Maybe you could be a bit more supportive, like go as a family on the Sunday he goes with the class.

Actually, we're very supportive of him. As to going on a Sunday, doesn't work for us. That's why we go on Saturday.

Could you help him earn the $70 for the retreat? Usually these retreats are lots of fun as well as a great learning experience.

Between homework from school, the class on Sundays, and homework from confirmation class, he doesn't have time to earn anything!

Maybe he needs a better understanding of what Confirmation is all about. It's a whole process, teaching the young adult what it really means to be a Catholic, not just a two hour visit with the Bishop. Maybe he's just not ready for Confirmation?

Actually, he understands exactly what confirmation is about, which is why he is questioning. He is quite ready. Just because he is questioning and protesting the methods doesn't mean he is not ready.

In our parish, Confirmation is a two year process, plus community service. Even if the kid goes to Catholic High School with Religion classes, they have to enroll in Confirmation classes that meet on Sunday evening. When our son made his first Reconciliation and First Eucharist in 2nd grade, he did it all through his Religion class at Catholic School, no additional classes. Confirmation is different.

ANd, I think that is way too much stuff to do/go through. I converted from essentially just a Christian to a Catholic and I didn't have to go through even a quarter of what they are having these kids do.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

I don't think that his feelings have anything to do with his being ready for confirmation, I think he is totally right about it being too much work

Yup. Exactly.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Sounds like a typical teen. Did he get the Martin Luther reference?

Took him about 20 seconds.

 

[septbride2002]

You are converted but that does not make you confirmed in the eyes of the Catholic Faith. At least that was how it use to be. Your son sounds a lot like me at his age. Except at the time I was confirmed I was in the public school system so I was use to taking the extra classes. Don't be surprised if he starts questioning a lot of things that the church.

FWIW - I also think most organized religions confirm children to young. I think you should be 18 and not 13. For many of me I was doing it because mom said I had to. Looking back, if I had actually been an adult I would not have gotten confirmed.

~Amanda

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

You are converted but that does not make you confirmed in the eyes of the Catholic Faith. At least that was how it use to be. Your son sounds a lot like me at his age. Except at the time I was confirmed I was in the public school system so I was use to taking the extra classes. Don't be surprised if he starts questioning a lot of things that the church.

FWIW - I also think most organized religions confirm children to young. I think you should be 18 and not 13. For many of me I was doing it because mom said I had to. Looking back, if I had actually been an adult I would not have gotten confirmed.

~Amanda

Same here. I think that a LOT of kids in my Confirmation class were only doing it because their parents said that they had to, though. Most of my friends are no longer practicing Catholics as adults, so I wonder how many of us would have chosen to get Confirmed if we'd had a say in the matter as adults. I know that I wouldn't have.

OP, it seems much easier to do all of the conversion/Confirmation stuff as an adult, actually. Would you and your son be opposed to his waiting until he was over 18 to make Confirmation? I'll bet that he could get it done a lot more quickly at that point. They really seem to drag it out and make it a lot of extra work for teens (who already have enough homework from school).

 

[6_Time_Momma]

You are converted but that does not make you confirmed in the eyes of the Catholic Faith. At least that was how it use to be. Your son sounds a lot like me at his age. Except at the time I was confirmed I was in the public school system so I was use to taking the extra classes. Don't be surprised if he starts questioning a lot of things that the church.

FWIW - I also think most organized religions confirm children to young. I think you should be 18 and not 13. For many of me I was doing it because mom said I had to. Looking back, if I had actually been an adult I would not have gotten confirmed.

~Amanda

Ummm........ya got me scratching my head here. I was confirmed when I converted, so why wouldn't I be confirmed in the eyes of the Catholic faith??

 

[Mermaid02]

He's a smart boy.

 

[we3disneygo]

my dd11 is going to a private Christian school and she had to go on a over night retreat-cost 50.00............ we live in IL. she did not want to go and it was mandatory--

 

[mickeyfan2]

That is WAY more than the teens around here have to do. They even let us homeschool the religious classes. Could you homeschool him? Maybe that would be a good compromise for him.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I tend to believe that there are some things that you could get out of.

I would speak to the religious education director at your parish. Find out the PRECISE requirements that the diocese requires. I bet you will find that some of what the parish is expecting of the kids---is actually not required at all.

I found out as mickeyfan2 did that religous ed classes can be homeschooled..but my daughter likes going, so I send her.

I can see how the retreats could be required. I did a retreat as part of my RCIA process. He can probably get a scholarship if necessary. Our parish would never prevent someone from attending a necessary retreat due to finances.

The same mass thing is about the lamest thing I ever heard. The Catholic Church does not like masses of designation (i.e. Children's Mass, Family Mass, Early Bird Mass, Seniors mass...et cetera). It is MASS. It is way more important to attend as a familiy than to attend with your peers. Your church is overstepping the boundaries a bit here.

ETA: You could see about home teaching the religoius ed...point out to your son that religious education is something that never ends. We have a big adult education program at our church.

 

[disneymom3]

I grew up Catholic and DH became Catholic a few years after we were married. I think someone telling you you aren't Catholic because you converted as an adult is ridiculous. In order to "convert" to Catholicism, you have to be confirmed.

From my own experience going through confirmation as a teen, and through RCIA with DH as his sponsor, I think the point of the classes is to cover all of the parts that being Catholic entails. It's not just a faith in Jesus kind of a thing, but do you agree with other rules adn precepts as well. Do you understand what all the parts of mass mean--why do you stand and sit at certain times, etc. I feel like I was a better catholic for having learned all of that and really knew what I was agreeing to.

However, yeah, it sounds like a lot and I think the having to attend church with the class thing is stupid. Heck, at our church, they are putting a big emphasis on attending as a whole family instead of sending the kids off to Sunday School and mom and dad attending church. (we are Lutheran now.)

 

[sodaseller]

Nail that letter to the door! But tell him he doesn't actually have to eat worms