My son is missing his first disney trip

Nsaudra

Mouseketeer
Joined
Feb 7, 2018
I'm afraid my advice is to say nothing and just go ahead without him. My daughter met a guy online when she was 16 and it was a waste of four years of her life, they met up twice in that time and her life went down the toilet and never recovered even though she is now 28. She blames me for everything because I questioned what she was doing during that time when her grades went down, she refused to go on a once in a lifetime school trip to Japan because she wouldn't be able to talk to him, not to mention the Disney trips because I refused to let a virtual stranger join us, at my expense, no doubt.
Time does come when family traditions like vacations to Disney do start coming to an end, that is a fact of life. I remember the first time I went to Disney on my own, 10 years ago, because she didn't want to come, sorry, but, best trip ever! First time it was about me, something that never happened before.
I really thank you and everyone else. I really like knowing I'm not alone. We did go on our trip we had a good time. My dh said that we could now have 500$ more fun cause we didnt buy him park tickets etc. I know he was making me feel better. I think the hurt comes from how he turned out... maybe more disappointment I hope he comes around even if it takes him 4 years. I'm sure I too will still be blamed. I'm ok with that. Again thank you.
 

simplymama

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2009
I think its unreasonable to expect your adult son to go on a trip without his significant other. It seems the bigger issue is you not liking her. If you liked her would you have an issue including her?

I also couldn't imagine my husband going on a weekly trip with his family without me. There aren't enough vacation days in the year for that.

I agree its a neat tradition but traditions are meant to be fun...this seems full of drama.
I think comparing a husband to a girlfriend of less than a year isn't quite the same.

Op are they living together?

Just my 2 cents worth of course, but as a mom to many, four now married, another who has a long term SO, if they aren't living together than I think you are Okay to stand your ground, but if they have committed to living together, then you can't really expect him to pack up and leave her.

We went from a core family unit of 11(mom, dad and our 9 kids) , to 4 marriages and one long term relationship(still in college) in the past 6 years. It's definitely a huge adjustment for everybody.

I love all our new family members very much, but for mom and dad there is definitely always some family growing pains as things change from what they were when it was just you and the kids.

I remember the first trip without one of our kids. Definitely stung a bit, but you will adjust. Wait until you are watching them go off on fun trips without you:-) That is bittersweet too:-)
 
Joined
Oct 23, 2015
if they aren't living together than I think you are Okay to stand your ground, but if they have committed to living together, then you can't really expect him to pack up and leave her.
I didn't live with my husband until we got married though we were with each other all the time we just had separate places...for a reason. Why in the world is living together somehow the line, makes no sense. Being in a committed relationship is being in a committed relationship. That's what matters.
 
  • Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    I didn't live with my husband either, not that that matters in relation to the OP.

    My point was from the sounds of it they haven't been together even a year. Expecting a new girlfriend to be included in an annual family trip isn't necessarily fair to the rest of the family in my opinion, but we all have different ideas of what's fair.

    If they had already made the jump to living together then he'd be leaving their shared home which would seem a bit more odd to me then just leaving her at her own home while he travels with the family he lives with.
    You literally said:

    if they aren't living together than I think you are Okay to stand your ground,
    So it mattered enough in your mind to the OP to ask the question and then make the above statement.

    I was with my then-boyfriend nearly every night we just had separate places so yeah him vacationing without me a ton would have left me alone. Simply put we were in a committed relationship. It wouldn't have impacted our feelings towards wanting to be with each other any differently if we had lived with each other. People's lives can be intertwined regardless of living situations and to reduce it down to if you live together it makes all the difference means leaving out the people who opt not to live together and yet would have the same feeling. I've known couples who lived far more separate lives living together than couples who live separately.

    I would say the whole living together aspect with respects to how one may feel vacationing without one's significant other is purely a personal case by case basis by the couple not a qualifier by the parents. Though I must admit I'd love to have seen how it played out if my mother-in-law way back when tried the 'stand her ground' on the basis of her son not living with his committed girlfriend lol.

    Totally understand though this may be an agree to disagree thing :)
     
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    that this particular young lady causes strife in the family and so it is going to put a huge strain on what should be a happy family vacation
    I think that's a personal issue with the OP though.

    It would be different if the OP didn't like the new girlfriend and yet understood why the son didn't want to come along without her and so was totally ok without the son going if the girlfriend couldn't come.. As is mostly the OP, respectfully, doesn't like the girlfriend and yet wanted the son to go anyways without her. That in itself will/can cause unnecessary strife completely unrelated to the girlfriend and more of a son/mother relationship level.

    And remember we're only getting 1 side to the story with respects to the girlfriend (speaking towards the strife).
     

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