My son is a bully

[huey duey & luey]

My son (2) is starting to push his brother and sister and he hits them if they take something from him. He will also knock over large toys. I am afraid he will get hurt or hurt someone else. I started to do timeouts 2min. it doesnt seem to make a difference, or at least not yet. Any other suggestions. Thanks
Tara

 

[Dan Murphy]

Move him up to 4 hour timeouts.

(j/k)

I do think, if I recall, that is why they are called 'the terrible two's'. Most will grow out of it.

 

[Keli]

Well children that have more bold, adventuresome attitudes will probably be a bit more agressive in general. I do think you are doing the right thing in giving him timeouts so he knows his boundries but I wouldn't worry too much just yet about him becoming a bully. If you keep tendancies like that in check as he's growing up I'm sure it will work out fine.

 

[pumba]

and when one of the three would start picking on the other two....I have to tell you ....it was the little red head.....she was the bully.....she would shove and push and smack them........so her pediatrician told her to remove her from the area that the other two were in......so if they are playing in the playroom......she would bring her to the bedroom and make her stay in her crib or bed until she could be good and not hurt her brothers.......she is not a hitter now....but she is the boss lady as I call her.......they do outgrow the wanting to do bodily harm to the others

 

[Val]

2 year olds are starting to feel independence and have lots of emotions- kinda scary when you don't have much language. When they feel angry they tend to go to their "animal" selves (so to speak)....they hit, push, kick, bite, scream, etc. Problem is, it works! People give you back their toys or give you what you want if you will bite them if they don't!!!! Time out and teaching better responses can help. After he hits, and AFTER he has a time out (try about 2 minutes of a "quite time" AFTER he has quit protesting.....) have him come back into the room and practice touching nicely- then praise him for his good behavior. Whenever you see him touching nicely/showing appropriate affection- praise him like crazy. He will cope a clue soon: good behavior = fun/bad behavior = time out. He's not dumb- just doesn't have the words to express himself quite yet (he's pretty PO'd about losing a toy- but can't swear yet!). All too soon you will wish for the simpler days of bite and scream rather than the "I hate you"s

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

When my two were that age the doctor recommend giving them something that they could hit or bite. He suggested a pillow. I used to tell them that if was okay for them to be upset but they could not hit/bite/push another person. They would hit the couch cushions. The phase didn't last long.

 

[jfulcer]

Let's put your son and my DD into a ring and they can push to their hearts content! Mine is 2 also and just started this in daycare. She only picks on the smaller kids though - I think she was smart enough to figure out the bigger kids will push her back.

We're doing the same thing another poster said, positive/negaive reinforcement, removal from situation, etc...

This too shall pass...

 

[CEDmom]

This happens with a lot of children until their language skills catch up to what they are feeling and need to express. At DD's daycare the transition between the 2 yo and 3 yo rooms is huge with regard to physical confrontations. I'd just keep explaining that hitting is not an option and try to teach words that will help him express his feelings better. Good luck and remember this too shall pass.