My son, his food allergies... and snack time at school....

[Mermaid02]

My son is allergic to peanuts, so far as we know he is only allergic if he ingests them.... the smell doesn't bother him and we don't think he is allergic to getting it on his skin. A few weeks ago he stopped taking his Buzz Lightyear lunch box to school... just wanted another one every day. One day he finally told me that the reason he wouldn't take it was because at lunch one of the kids put their aluminum foil (that they had a peanut butter sandwich in) in his lunch box and he was afraid to use it.... and then at snack one day a boy had peanut butter and crackers and then rubbed his hands on everything in Jack's lunch box. Then all the kids laughed when he jumped up to wash. I wrote the teacher a note, asked her to explain once again to the kids that this wasn't a little thing- this is a life threatening allergy. If it ever happened again, he wasn't to touch his lunch and I was to be called immediately.

Her solution?? She made a peanut free snack table and most of the time he sits there alone. I told her before that he can sit by kids eating pb... but they can't be touching his food..which in my opinion, they shouldn't be doing allergy or none.

I feel like she is punishing him for the other kids teasing him about his allergy.

The school isn't peanut free (obviously) although there are other schools in the district that are.... I don't want it to be.... peanut butter is nutritious and relatively cheap..... but I don't think she has been fair. This is first grade by the way.

 

[crazyme5kids]

Talk to the teacher again. She probably thinks she is doing the right thing, which is kind of true. Tell her how it makes you and your son feel that he winds up sitting by himself. Work with her to find a solution, maybe have the school nurse come in and speak to the class about food allergies (not just peanuts). She can also talk about germs and the fact that they should not touch other peoples food, allergies or not.

 

[cgcw]

How sad for your son. Kids can be so cruel.

It sounds like your teachers child is not dealing with the situation as best as she can. To separate your child from his peers is only going to make it harder on him. You are right, the kids should not be touching his lunch -- regardless. Is there some way to educate the kids about allergies -- maybe with the help of the school nurse? My DS9 went to preschool with a little boy with peanut alleries and it just became a normal thing to all of the kids. This is how it should be handled in grade school as well.

I think I would try talking to the teacher again. Tell her it not helping your son to have him sit alone. Remind her that even though he has the allergy, it's okay for him to sit with his friends. While you are trying to deal with it in a fair way, it sounds like the teacher is taking the easy way out (by moving your son rather than addressing the issue of the kids keeping their hands to their own lunch) -- which probably isn't the best solution. Is your son outspoken enough to tell the other kids to keep their hands off his items (I know my son wouldn't be -- that's hard for kids to do).

I hope you can get this resolved.

 

[#1 DOUG Live Fan]

Mermaid02, my heart just goes out to you and your little guy. I don't have kids, but your story just broke my heart. Why should a first grader be having such a "crisis" as this so early in life? I hope you and the teacher can find a solution that works well for him.

Liz

 

[Twigs]

DS has a classmate 3 years in a row with a severe peanut allergy. It was severe enough that no child was allowed to bring peanut products into the classroom, (I know this is not your case). The childs parents came into the classroom at the beginning of the year to explain the situation to the class, and the teacher made sure that the children understood it all, maybe this is something you can do. This girl had to sit at a peanut free table in the cafeteria, and all the kids knew the rules, one time a girl with a pb&j sandwich sat next to her and she lost her recreation time. I feel your sons teacher should be giving out some kind of consequence, especially when the children are intentionally doing these things.

 

[Mermaid02]

Thanks for your replies... I should have added that this teacher doesn't like me. I posted a while back that I came in and she called me hostile. I was VERY careful with my note not to sound angry or "hostile" But I think she has a "I'll fix her" attitude and that is to punish my son- this teacher's husband is also the superintendent of schools here.

I can't wait for this year to be over.

 

[Serena]

That poor little boy. I wish I had some advice.

 

[RitaZ.]

There is a girl in my DS's 2nd grade with a severe peanut allergy. The rest of the class can't keep their lunch boxes in the classroom, their lunch boxes are kept outside the classroom on a table, there is an aide in the classroom assigned to this student (strictly because of the peanut allergy, nothing else), she eats lunch in the classroom and the teacher always chooses two other kids to stay in the classroom to eat with her accompanied by the aide.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

You can find some educational information for your teacher and the class at the food allergy & anaphylaxis network. (I believe it is faan.com).

 

[Amy]

Looks to me like there are 2 issues here: your son's peanut allergy and the teacher doesn't like you. My guess would be that the teacher doesn't really understand how serious a food allergy is, and because she doesn't like you, she probably thinks you're over-reacting. I agree with the poster above who said that it might be a good idea to have the school nurse come and talk to the class INCLUDING the teacher. The nurse is a neutral party and the teacher will be more likely to listen to her than to you.

I also think you should schedule an appt. with the principal, the teacher and the nurse to discuss your son's food allergy. Since he's in 1st grade, he's got a few more years at this school. Isolating your child by making him sit alone at a lunch table is NOT the right thing to do. Sure, the school can have a peanut-free table, but your son should be allowed to have his friends sit with him IF they don't have peanut butter in their lunches.

Mermaid02, I feel your pain. My DS14 is also allergic to peanuts, and it's a never-ending battle. What those kids did to your son is downright cruel - to purposely rub their hands on your son's lunchbox when they've had peanut crackers?? Since they're only in 1st grade, I'd say that it's likely that they're not being mean, they just don't understand how serious this is. But unless those kids learn this lesson NOW, that cruelty might get worse and they'll still be doing it in middle school when kids can really be mean. That's why a talk from the nurse would be helpful.

If you haven't already, check out The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network . They have a lot of educational materials available geared specifically to schools to help them deal with food allergies.

Good luck! My DS14 will be working as a counselor-in-training this summer at camp for 3 weeks, all on his own without me or DH around. I'm already worrying!!! But he's got to learn to deal with his allergies by himself........

 

[LScot]

This smilie is as mad looking as we have here. He needs the flame coming out of his head.

I'd be at that school (or send your DH as I remember you said you'd let him deal with her) so fast that her head would be swimming. Isolating your son during snack is cruel esp. since he doesn't need to be isolated--those kids just need to respect his food allergy and keep their hands to themselves.

I would not let this continue for your son. This is doing nothing but hurting him and doing no good for his self esteem. I'd let her know that this solution is not acceptable. And if she won't listen, I'd go over her head.

I can't wait til this school year is over for him also. First grade should NOT be like this.

 

[Christine]

My DS 9 (3rd grade) also has a peanut allergy. His allergy also doesn't seem severe enough that I have wanted a peanut free table. So far we have not had these problems that you speak of. But I will say, a lot of that has to do with the school's overall discipline policy and not so much the teacher.

I'm sure they have a *common* disciplinary set up in all elementary schools--my son's principal just takes it seriously. They get "level" warnings for their actions, with level 3 being the worst. What those kids did would definitely get a level 3.

If I were you, I would go directly to the principal and explain that you don't want your son separated (and he shouldn't have to be if YOU are comfortable with it.) However, what those kids did is no different than any other type of teasing or bullying that would be done to another child--just in a different way. You can bet that if a child were threatened in a more *traditional* way, it would be addressed.

I think that the PRINCIPAL needs to go into the classroom, explain that what was done to your child is a form of teasing/bullying and that it won't be tolerated. The next person that touches his lunch or any other child's lunch without that student's permission, will get sent to the office and a note sent home. Period.

 

[aprincessmom]

Actually DD's school (K-2) is not peanut free but each room has an area for snack that is peanut free...only children with peanut-free snacks can eat there and it is entirely their choice. If they still want to eat at their desks they can but all children with the peanut allergies must go to the peanut free area. At lunch each class has a peanut-free table in the cafeteria and only children who buy lunch can eat at it.

DD has a good friend who she never gets to eat lunch with because she has a peanut allergy. DD hates the school lunches and brings her lunch every day. Her friend must sit at the peanut free table (only bought lunches along with any peanut allergy children) because of her allergies. It's been this way last year and this year and will be for the rest of school I guess. Makes her sad that she can't eat with her friend even if she brings non-peanut lunches but given the severity of some allergies, it is a good solution.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

for your son.

 

[browneyes]

The teacher should've punished the other kids for doing that to Jack. That was a life threatening thing they did, not something to joke around about. I think the teacher needs to explain that to the kids. It sounds to me they just don't understand that Jack can get really, really sick if he touches peanuts. Can Jack call some of his friends to come to the non-peanut free snack area to have snack with him?

 

[snoopy]

Having followed your stories of your son and this teacher, all I can say is I do hope the next month or two until summer vacation goes by quickly for him. Ordinarily I would say that the teacher probably thought she was doing the right thing, but in this case, I'm not so sure. And its a shame that a little boy has to feel ostracized as a result.

{{{mermaid}}}

 

[SeaShelley]

for you and Jack.......what a witch that teacher is being!

 

[mom2boys]

I haven't been following the other threads about the troubles with this teacher. I do have two boys with life threatening food allergies - one of my boys is allergic to peanuts. Like your son, he can be near others eating them but cannot ingest them. His best friend sits next to him with a PB&J sandwich almost everyday.
I have run into a wide range of reactions from teachers. Some are terrified & others take it in stride.
As for the other children, they need to understand that this is no joke. Does your school have a guidance counselor? If so, speak to the counselor. When my oldest left kindergarten in an ambulance due to a friend sharing a nut cookie with him, the counselor showed the class a movie about an elephant with peanut allergies. I don't recall the name of the movie - perhaps your counselor will. There are several books on the subject - perhaps the teacher could share on with the class & your son could answer questions the kids might have.

 

[poohandwendy]

Her solution?? She made a peanut free snack table and most of the time he sits there alone. I told her before that he can sit by kids eating pb... but they can't be touching his food..which in my opinion, they shouldn't be doing allergy or none.

I feel for your situation, but this is what I think may be the problem.

1. You tell her that he can sit by kids who eat PB, but they cannot touch his lunch
2. She expresses that to the class
3. Some kids ignore the rules and have placed your son in a dangerous situation
4. Your son and you make it known that he was put in a compromising situation and that she needs to protect him from it
5. She realizes that in a perfect world, disciplining the other kids would keep him safe...but obviously the other kids have ignored/forgotten the dangers involved. Unless she has eyes in the back of her head, the only real solution is to make sure he isn't eating with other kids.

As a teacher, I would feel that it shouldn't be left up to children to ensure the safety of one of their classmates (especially after they have proven to be not so good at doing so). Legally, she is responsible for what goes on in her classroom. If she feels there is no way to ensure that a classmate will be careful, everytime, she really has no choice but to make sure that he won't be put in a compromising situation. If she doesn't and this sort of thing happens again, with horrible results, she knows you could hold her responsible. That may not be a chance she wants to take.

IMO, you are asking the teacher to protect your son, but limiting her ability to do so by asking her to put the burden on the other kids by asking them to be responsible about it. It sounds like these kids are pretty young, do you really want to take the chance that a reminding young kids to take precautions will keep your son safe? I wouldn't. It's a shame, but his health needs to take precedence over his feelings about being at a different table for snack/lunch time. JMHO

 

[RitaZ.]

I just wanted to add that my DS and his classmates are very much aware of their classmate's peanut allergy. They are 2nd graders, but his teacher and the administration have taken it very seriously and the students know this. At the beginning of the school year, all the parents were sent letters explaining the situation in detail. The last time DS had to take a snack for his class, he "reminded" me that it couldn't contain peanuts.

There are other ways to handle this situation.