my son diagnosed with PDD..and his cleaning habits

[Mommy2three]

Ok I have a question/problem. My son is 8 years old recently diagnosed in December with PDD-NOS. He is also a major bedwetter, having to wear six pull ups at night because he soaks thru 5 easily. His room is an absolute embarrassement. I went in there this morning after i dropped them off at summer school and he has dirty stinky pull ups all over, peed on pjs, dirty clothes, toys, etc. His room made me start gagging when I was in there this morning. He stashes his dirty pull ups/dirty clothes/pjs/toys everywhere and anywhere, under his bed, in his closet, inside his tv cabinet, on the toy shelves, under his mattress, etc. so when u walk into his room it looks semi clean, until you really start to look. He has a hamper in his room for his dirty laundry, a waste basket for his pull ups, bins for his toys, etc, but he just doesnt utilize them. I took everything and piled it up on his bed so when he comes home he will see all this stuff on his bed. Now i know if i dont get on him to clean it and put everything away he will just toss it all onto the floor and not have a second thought about it.

I have tried taking everything out of his room, that doesnt help, i have piled everything into the middle of his room before, he will clean it and then the next day or so it will be nasty again.

Any ideas that I can try out?

 

[kirstenb1]

It sounds like you've provided everything he needs to keep his room tidy.

Maybe a trip to the urologist to see if there are any meds to suppress urine production? That sounds like a crazy amount of night-time pull-ups he's going through.

The only other thought I have is that the two of you develop a morning routine for tidying. Take him by the hand if needed, and together gather yesterday's laundry, pull-ups, toys etc. I know you want him independent, but take a step back, and do it together.

 

[deerhart]

1st off, most normal 8 year olds are not able to keep their rooms cleaned on their own, let alone one with autism, adhd, or any other type of disorder. The skill to independently clean and keep one's room clean is usually not obtained until the late preteen to early teen years in the average NT child.

I think your expectations that you can pile stuff in the middle of the room and expect him to properly put it away are way way to high.

First off, you WILL need to supervise his room cleaning, if not even help. Next, you need to break down the cleaning into bite sized pieces. Leaving him a huge pile is TOO overwhelming and leads to him just making it disappear as quickly as possible.

With my boys we break it down by item type. So first we pick up and put away legos, then books, then clothes, then whatever else is next.

Some other tricks. When his room is clean and neat, take photographs of each section so he has something to refer to on how it SHOULD look versus how it does look.

Both ADHD and Autism can have executive functioning components. This can really hamper (or change) the ability to organize and plan. Also, since most people with autism have poor language skills, they can tend to rely more heavily on their visual skills and seeing a huge pile of stuff is visually overwhelming. So, you have to reinforce the skills to breakdown the task into doable steps.

Mind you that keeping a place clean is a skill MANY MANY MANY NT people even lack. Hence why things like flylady are sooo popular. The flylady approach really does work well for many people with EF issues because the goal of flylady is to break the tasks down into small bite sized chunks instead of trying to tackle it all at once.

Finally, one more suggestion LABEL LABEL LABEL. A sign above the hamper saying dirty clothes, a sign on this box says legos, a sign over here says books etc. Also, have a box/place for everything and do not use clear see through boxes (again, the visual stimuli of seeing something inside the box may sidetrack the child off what they are doing)

 

[bookwormde]

First check to see if there is a medical issue, then try to break it down into the components. Most often it is not "forgetting to do it" but a lack of social impetus to do it. If this is the issue then intergrate it as a priority into his social skills programs. There are lots of "simple" tools to deal with the EF portion.

bookwormde

 

[Mommy2three]

I have taken him to the urologist and everything is ok on that end. he has been on the DDAVP the highest dose possible and that does not work with the bedwetting, we have tried the alarm, etc, i have even gotten up every few hours and got him up to use the bathroom and that doesnt help with the bedwetting issues either. He is able to put everything away where it goes when i have piled stuff up in the middle of the room so thats not an issue. Sometimes I think he prefers it messy. I think he can find his stuff better when its messy and he sees the messy as being organized. I know that can be the case with autistic children. Now I just have to try to get the smell out of his room. He is a very visual kid and we do use visual cues around the home, i never thought about making the signs tho since he isnt really able to read.