My SO Calls and E-mails me so much it's Driving Me CRAZY! (VENT)

[Jingle]

We've been living together for over three years so it's not like we never see each other. But, when I'm at work, he'll call me 4-5 times a day. He always says, so, what are you doing? Well, WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING? It's not like he calls me to tell me or ask me anything. He just calls to call (or maybe to see if I'm here?)

In addition to calling me at work, he will e-mail me several times a day. I'm talking 15-20 times a day. Again, with nothing really to say. If I don't answer him right away, he'll call and say, you didn't answer my e-mail. Grrrrrrrr......

On the two nights and Saturday that he has to work, he calls me several times at home, again with nothing to say but, What are you doing? He will even call me an hour after he leaves, knowing that I intend to sleep in.

Another thing he does is wake me up when I'm falling asleep. For example, last night I was laying on the couch and we were watching tv. I was falling asleep, because I was really tired and had to get up early this morning. Well, just as I'm falling into a nice dreamy sleep, he comes over and starts to kiss me, waking me up. I about jumped 1/2 mile, and then had problems falling back to sleep.

I have told him that he needs to learn not to wake me up on purpose when I'm falling asleep. I also do not act very friendly when he calls all the time like that, expecially when I'm at work. When he asks what's wrong, I'll tell him I'M BUSY!!!

I realize there are a lot more serious problems in life, but he's really starting to get on my nerves. It seems the longer we're together the worse this little problem gets.

 

[Lucky4me]

He sounds insecure or bored, maybe both. Tell him you love him and help him find a hobby.

My DH likes to call me a couple of times a day from work. If I'm in the mood to chat I will, if not, I tell him I love him but that I don't feel like talking right now.
15-20 e-mails a day is excessive. I'd sit your SO down and find out why he does this and how you feel about it. He may really be feeling insecure about something and you may be able to help him with it. Good luck!

 

[faith]

He definitely sounds insecure. Take a serious look at your relationship. It seems as if you are not happy with it. Good luck with what ever you choose to do.

 

[Gail T AGAIN]

I was also going to say he sounds insecure but the two posters before e beat me to it. Good luck with this, better talk this out with him.

 

[Tony-NJ]

If my SO calls me once a month at work I'm lucky!!! I hope you can work things out.

I can relate to the sleeping though. It usually takes me a while to fall asleep, if I;m sleeping - DON"T WAKE ME UP unless there's a fire

 

[JohnTBap]

Tell you what - have him call me and I will have my husband NOT call you! Deal?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Did you tell him to stop it and he continues to do it? Sounds like he has some issues.

 

[aahmom1]

Other than him calling and e-mailing you constantly, is he controlling. Does he want to know where you are and who you are with at all times?

 

[SonjaB]

Yep, he sounds VERY insecure, you guys need to talk.

 

[Krisu]

You say you have been together 3 years. Is this behavior new?

 

[Michelle]

Wow, you are a saint to put up with that. He definitely sounds controlling in a passive-agressive kind of way. It would drive me absolutely nuts TOO.

If he persists in doing this when you tell him to STOP then there are definitely some deeper issues to work out.

Good luck!

 

[Dopey Sharon]

Sounds to me like he's checking up on you, too. Have you tried being too busy to answer his calls? When you go out, does he keep tabs on you too?