My sister just called me and is freaking out - **small update**

[Rora]

Your sis can still hire a PI.

This is certainly something to consider.

Regardless, I am happy you updated us. At least the cop believes the ex is lying- they provides a little closure? Your DSis should think about moving for sure!!

If anything happens, let us know!

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Absolutely - no way he is on here.

Another reason to dislike him - he LOATHES Disney.

Actually when we had our trip planned last year, my sister and her son were supposed to come with us. It was paid for and everything, but one week before we left, he threw a huge fit and told her he didnt want her to go. And she didnt. She was so sad, because she loves Disney. He left her a week after the rest of us got back from Disney - which leads me to believe he just didnt want her to go because he didnt want her to spend the money, because he was planning on leaving.

What a jerk... he knows how to manipulate, which is another finger pointing at him. I wish she had more closure, but hopefully he'll move on and leave her the hell alone. Keep us posted on any updates...

I say, post the phone number of the incoming call and we'll all call it non-stop.

LMAO..sounds like a plan!!!

 

[WDSearcher]

Hi everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Easter!!

I havent been able to read all your replies or post for the past few days since we went out of town for the hoilday.

So, clearly the immediate danger is gone, or I'd have hoped that you'd have stayed in town! (Unless of course your sister when with you. )

There has been no new updates and I highly doubt there will be. The cops act like they have done all that they are going to do. I also mentioned security tapes and fingerprinting - but my husband said - "This isn't a murder case and I don't think they do that." - maybe so, but you never know what the intention was of whoever was in her house.

I think in this day of "CSI" and "Law & Order" and all the other procedurals out there, people think, "oh ... of course the cameras will have security tapes and of course there's a crew available to dust for prints". But this isn't TV and the cops have more than one case at a time and limited resources. If your sister is fine sleeping in the house with her son and having the locks changed and not continuing to be freaked out, then the cops are going to hang onto the file should their be a second contact, and move on to other things. There are lots of theories as to what the cellphone owner might have been doing there, but no immediate threat (only supposed ones). And the police can't act on what someone thinks might possibly happen.

The main reason I do believe it was the ex now is because he hasn't called her to ask about it - or if she and their son are okay - wouldn't that be the first rational thing a person would do when they found out someone had broken into his ex's house? Unless of course, it was HIM who broke in and he didnt have to worry.

Then again, he knows he's the prime suspect, based on the visit from the police. Even if he did call, no one would think that he's sincere. They'd all figure that he's calling because he's got some motive or he's trying to fake being concerned or whatever. When you're in that situation, pretty much any lawyer on the planet will tell you to just shut up and lay low. Don't do anything that might in any way be perceived as confrontational. Besides, doesn't the ex have a restraining order out on him? Does that even allow him to make a phone call? I'm thinking no.

My sister did say that the officer told her ex when he went to his work to pay him a visit that he would give his phone back to him, if it was indeed his phone - which I thought was srange - but of course her ex said it wasn't. The officer said he could tell when people lie and that her ex was definitely lying.

Unfortunately even an officer who KNOWS the ex was lying (but has no proof) won't stand up in court. Or, well ... anywhere.

I don't know - this whole thing is just so strange. I have been trying to convince by sister to move. I just don't think it is safe there anymore.

Again ... if you were okay with going out of town for the weekend and leaving her there, then it's clearly "safe enough." Even if she was along on your out-of-town trip, she apparently doesn't feel anxious enough to move. I'm sure she'll be more aware of her surroundings and what's locked and what's not and so forth. But it does seem like the house is simply too large for her (if she never ever goes upstairs). Might be the time to downsize.

 

[Jenvenza]

So, clearly the immediate danger is gone, or I'd have hoped that you'd have stayed in town! (Unless of course your sister when with you. )


I think in this day of "CSI" and "Law & Order" and all the other procedurals out there, people think, "oh ... of course the cameras will have security tapes and of course there's a crew available to dust for prints". But this isn't TV and the cops have more than one case at a time and limited resources. If your sister is fine sleeping in the house with her son and having the locks changed and not continuing to be freaked out, then the cops are going to hang onto the file should their be a second contact, and move on to other things. There are lots of theories as to what the cellphone owner might have been doing there, but no immediate threat (only supposed ones). And the police can't act on what someone thinks might possibly happen.


Then again, he knows he's the prime suspect, based on the visit from the police. Even if he did call, no one would think that he's sincere. They'd all figure that he's calling because he's got some motive or he's trying to fake being concerned or whatever. When you're in that situation, pretty much any lawyer on the planet will tell you to just shut up and lay low. Don't do anything that might in any way be perceived as confrontational. Besides, doesn't the ex have a restraining order out on him? Does that even allow him to make a phone call? I'm thinking no.


Unfortunately even an officer who KNOWS the ex was lying (but has no proof) won't stand up in court. Or, well ... anywhere.


Again ... if you were okay with going out of town for the weekend and leaving her there, then it's clearly "safe enough." Even if she was along on your out-of-town trip, she apparently doesn't feel anxious enough to move. I'm sure she'll be more aware of her surroundings and what's locked and what's not and so forth. But it does seem like the house is simply too large for her (if she never ever goes upstairs). Might be the time to downsize.

She was with us! We all went to our parents for Easter - so I am sure it was nice to get away for a while.

 

[IDoDis]

I have a good friend who is also going through a nasty divorce. Her ex entered the house without her permission while she was at work and while the kids were at school.

She had the locks changed when he moved out, but then later kept having feelings that he had been in the house. She'd see a cup on the counter that wasn't there when she left for work -- things like that. One day she noticed some insulation fluff on the carpet underneath the attic door (that is in the ceiling upstairs). The only time fluff ever fell on the floor was when someone had gone up in the attic -- only she HAD NOT been in the attic. She went up in the attic to look for their coin collection (very expensive) and it was gone! She found other things missing, as well including $3000.00 in airline vouchers, and some jewelry.

After some questioning, she figured out that her DS had opened the garage door once when her DH was standing right behind him as he typed in the new security code on the keypad. So, her DH must have been coming in through the garage. She changed the keypad code, but then another thing happened.

One day she picked up the house phone to call back her attorney who she had spoken with that morning right before leaving for work. The kids had already left for school so she was the last one to leave the house and the last one to use the phone. When she got home, she picked up the phone and hit the "last call dialed" button, expecting her attorney's secretary to answer, but the person on the other end was from a lock & key place. Her DH must have called a lock & key store to come make him a new key. He must have shown his driver's license and said he was just locked out of the house. After the key was made and they gotten into the house, the lock guy must have borrowed the phone to call his store which was why that number came up on her phone.

She found out there was no way to prevent him from having more keys made unless she bought a special kind of lock, which she did. There hasn't been any evidence of him entering the house since then.

He is also crying that he can't pay the child support (hasn't paid even one month yet), and is taking her to court to try and get it reduced. He's already been thrown in jail by the judge once for contempt of court.

 

[browneyes106]

I was wondering about how Jenvenza's sister was doing. I just remembered because a couple of days ago I was talking to my cousin. My cousin works from home as technical writer/copywriter for a medical supply company. My cousin goes to the company offices twice a week for meetings and to show supervisors her work. Other than that she works on her own schedule. She said being home during the day can be scary and weird at times. She says more than once strange people have knocked on her door and last year a neighor's home was broken into during the day. Talking with her reminded of me what happened to Jenvenza's sister. I was wondering what kind of work the sister did from her house? I hope nothing else happens to her and she is doing well.

 

[Jenvenza]

Hi everyone! My sister is doing fine - nothing else has happened. She has pretty much summed it up to it being her ex and he was snooping for something - who knows what though? He has contacted her since the police came to his job, but did not mention it. I find that odd - It would have been the first thing I brought up - IF I wasnt guilty!

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Hi everyone! My sister is doing fine - nothing else has happened. She has pretty much summed it up to it being her ex and he was snooping for something - who knows what though? He has contacted her since the police came to his job, but did not mention it. I find that odd - It would have been the first thing I brought up - IF I wasnt guilty!

OMG, definitely! I can't believe he didn't ask... he's guilty as he77!!

 

[fey_spirit]

I don't know it just might denote that he's an insensitive jerk who doesn't care one way or another about his ex and his kid. Which based on what you've said about his proven actions is a fact.

I still think he's guilty as sin... but I don't know that this denotes guilt.

Especially since I would be certain to bring it up and act concerned if I had done it for fear of looking guilty if I didn't. One could argue that because he didn't mention it he's showing a consistent behavior pattern. Asking might have actually been more suspicious for this tool.

Hi everyone! My sister is doing fine - nothing else has happened. She has pretty much summed it up to it being her ex and he was snooping for something - who knows what though? He has contacted her since the police came to his job, but did not mention it. I find that odd - It would have been the first thing I brought up - IF I wasnt guilty!

 

[brockash]

Hi everyone! My sister is doing fine - nothing else has happened. She has pretty much summed it up to it being her ex and he was snooping for something - who knows what though? He has contacted her since the police came to his job, but did not mention it. I find that odd - It would have been the first thing I brought up - IF I wasnt guilty!

Guilty and stupid. If I were him, and obviously did do it, that still would have been the first thing that I would have brought up with your DS. How incriminating does it look, that he doesn't even bring it up? What an idiot, if you're going to lie, at least be good at it


All joking aside though, I'm glad your DS is doing better, but just make sure she keeps her guard up. Ppl. do crazy crazy things during divorces/custody/money ect.

 

[DizBelle]

Are there any updates on this?

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Are there any updates on this?

man....I saw my subscription said new post...I thought there was an update!!!


So......

 

[Serena]

Yeah, I didn't see this originally, but I am curious to how the sister is doing.

 

[sunnyday123]

OP the situation is very scary and I can attest to it with first hand knowledge!

One night I was in my breakfast room on the computer,it was about 11:30pm when all of a sudden I heard a cell phone ring upstairs. At the time I didn't have a cell phone and DH was deployed.My girls were sleeping on the couches as it was Friday night and they stayed up late watching tv and I had just gone in the living room a few minutes earlier and put a blanket on them and shut off the tv.

I sat at my computer for a good minute thinking "What the hell?" then the terror set in. I stood up walked into the tv room picked up my youngest,the whole time never taking my eyes off the hallway that leads to the staircase. I grabbed my oldest by her upper arm and practically dragged her into a standing position and led her thru the kitchen and right out the back door walking backwards the whole time so whoever was upstairs couldn't sneak up on me.

I went to the next house and rang the doorbell and deposited my kids on the neighbors couch while she called 911.I went back outside and kept watch on my house till the cops arrived. They told me to stay outside while they checked it out and came out saying that noone was in there and I made them come back in with me while I checked it out.

Having kids I know all the best hiding spots and sure enough under the master bathroom sink I found a cell phone.

As the cop was looking at it (and me thinking I was crazy and that it was mine) the dang thing rang.

Turns out that it belonged to the exterminator who had come in to spray earlier that day and it had dropped out of his pocket when he got under the sink to see if he could find a trail. Turns out he had been calling it all evening trying to figure out where it was and I didn't hear it until the kids settled down and the tv was turned off.

The experience scared the crap out of me! I'm hoping that your sisters situation is similar and she can breathe a sigh of relief before the day is done.

I don't even know if I can get through this thread! I just read this, and simultaneously my cat brushed up against me and MY cell phone rang-THANK GOD I'm eating ice cream or I would be choking to death instead of almost crying. I may need to change.

 

[CJ's Mommy]

Just read through this whole thread...OH MY! Wondering how OP's sister is doing with the divorce and everything. I really hope all is well.

 

[chell]

Goodness, I would have been freaking out big time. I hope she is safe and sound.

 

[chell]

Hi everyone! My sister is doing fine - nothing else has happened. She has pretty much summed it up to it being her ex and he was snooping for something - who knows what though? He has contacted her since the police came to his job, but did not mention it. I find that odd - It would have been the first thing I brought up - IF I wasnt guilty!

What if he was planting something there to use against her? I know someone suggested a camera. But what if he was planting drugs or something like that to try to prove her as an unfit mother?

He sounds like a control freak that will do anything to hurt her. Sadly I was in a long relationship with someone like this and know the tricks they like to play and how they like to hurt you. He knows how much their child means to her so he may start playing that "card" soon of trying to have their child taken away from her if he was there to plant something.

My ex would often threaten to come over and kill my dog when I was at work saying I would have to come in and find her dead. He knew how much she meant to me. Then he would threaten my sisters. You just never know. I was too afraid to tell my family what he was saying. Thank God that is all behind me and is now over. I hope and pray your sister doesn't deal with anything like that.

But he really seems like a control freak that is planning something. She needs to stay on her toes.

 

[java]

My ex would often threaten to come over and kill my dog when I was at work saying I would have to come in and find her dead. He knew how much she meant to me. Then he would threaten my sisters. You just never know. I was too afraid to tell my family what he was saying. Thank God that is all behind me and is now over. I hope and pray your sister doesn't deal with anything like that.

But he really seems like a control freak that is planning something. She needs to stay on her toes.

Thank goodness he is an ex! I am so sorry you had to deal with something like that. Did you ever report all that to the cops? threatening your sisters? What a loser.

 

[chell]

Thank goodness he is an ex! I am so sorry you had to deal with something like that. Did you ever report all that to the cops? threatening your sisters? What a loser.

Thank you for your kind words and hug.

Sadly, no I never did report it to the cops because he really had me so terrified of him. He would threaten the cops too. Seriously, he was REALLY messed up and he had me just where he wanted me. It was like I was living in a fog and couldn't see it. Thankfully something made me realize it and I decided that I had to change my life or I was going to be killed. God gave me the strength to stand up to him and gave me the ability to be a strong person. I had always been so shy and been the person everyone else wanted me to be.

Thankfully he has been out of my life for about 4 years now and I still have nightmares about him and about him coming after me. These are irrational fears because he is now dead, but something in my mind seems to still be afraid of him. Now I have a wonderful husband who loves me for me and would never ask me to be anything other than who I am. My husband would never harm a hair on my head, but still sometimes I am afraid. He loves me through those times. I hope and pray the OP's sister doesn't have any of these kinds of emotional scars.

The ex really screwed me up. I know I was smarter than that. But when they are so controlling they find ways to wear you down and they know how do to it without you realizing it. Then one day it just smacks you in the face how miserable you are and how horrible your life is. I thank God for getting me through it safely. I can't imagine the poor women who have it worse off than I did. Thankfully I didn't have physical abuse but the emotional and psychological is just as bad.

I know I was bad for not going to the police but you have to understand how terrified I was of him and what he would say he would do to them. He would tell me that he would kill them if they came and would tell me how it would be my fault for calling them. Now I'm smarter than that, I know I am. But at the time I was so scared. Of course, I wouldn't let him anywhere near my family but I couldn't tell them why. My oldest sister did catch on and brought a gun over to my house one day. That day he was threatening to hit me and I knew that as soon as he did my sister would shoot him. I was hoping he would hit me just so she would shoot him and it would all be over. I know that was wrong too. When he was killed in a work accident later I had all kinds of issues that messed my mind up even more since I had times that I wanted him to die just so the "torture" would stop.

Sorry to go on so long. But if this helps someone else it is worth sharing.