I'm glad things seem to be working out.
My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's on Jan 6, 2006. The worst part about it was that the doctor who diagnosed her did not see any reason to tell her OR to go to the lobby to talk to her husband or son. He just told me...and I don't think he would have told me if I hadn't asked to speak with him privately for a minute while she was in another part of the office having some tests done. It was my responsibility to tell the rest of the family and (eventually) I wound up being the one to tell her. (Everyone in the family thought she'd have a hard time dealing with it, but she suspected it with the Aricept perscription and knowing she couldn't think and remember things clearly, and she was actually relieved to have some one confirm it.)
Right after that, I started looking up information. Somehow or another, I managed to convince her and my grandfather that they needed to give Power of Attorney to some one they could trust -- specifically DURABLE PoA. (I didn't know there were different types before that, and that a plain PoA is null and void at the moment the person in question becomes mentally incompetent; durable stays even through mental issues. You can also just assign PoA to certain aspects of your life -- medical treatment, finances, etc.) There are only two things that are worrisome for the PoA: (1) since it was done within 5 years of her diagnosis, it could be challenged in court and a judge could decide that she not mentally fit enough due to the Alzheimer's to assign a PoA (hopefully, that makes sense the way I said that...) and (2) although my parents were given Durable PoA, she refuses to give them a copy of the document -- don't ask why Granddad won't; I don't know -- so it's just as good as not having it anyway. (Nope, lawyer cannot give it to them, either.)
It's amazing that my grandparents (he's 87 and she'll be 85 in November) still live at home on their own. My grandfather takes care of her and tries to get some one to come in and help her out/sit with her during the day at least a couple times a week (was me on Sundays after church, but she's got a housekeeper of sorts for the moment). She can still get around (when she wants to) but can't tell you what the date is at any given time. My grandfather, on the other hand, still has a mind as sharp as a tack. I took him a couple of months ago to buy a suit, and he told the lady there that he and Granny have been married 64 years, and that it was a fluke -- she's too good for him, and all that jazz. He said when he was overseas during WWII he wrote a generic letter -- "Do you remember me?" and signed his name -- then mimeographed the letter and mailed it out to all his own girlfriends back home. My grandmother was the only one that wrote him back. It's so sweet to see them still hold hands and him tell her about times long gone (and occassionally, since she still has long term memory, she contributes to the stories some, too.)
Okay..this went on longer than I intended! But I did want to offer hugs and support and say that you definitely aren't alone!
