My older son doesn't want to go with us now...

[disneysnowflake]

My boys will be 11 and 15 when we go to WDW in Dec.

My older boy tells me now he doesn't want to go to WDW with us. My husband's sister and family are going to Hawaii the same week and invited him to go along. My son and nephew are best buds. My sister in law forgot all about our Disney trip when she asked my son to go to Hawaii with them.

I've already paid for his airfare. It cost me $225. I've already bought his 5 day php, but I know I can always save that for a later trip.

Ugh. I just don't know what to do. My son says that he'd have more fun in Hawaii than hanging out in Disney with us.

What would you do if it were your son? I'd hate to force him to come along with us, but it really will change things for me with my oldest son not being there. He's never been to Disney before.

Sigh.

 

[memymomonica]

Let him go to Hawaii. He will be with family. Just extended family. You will have a chance to have quality time with your younger son. I don't see anything wrong with it. Your older son will appreciate you valuing his opinion.

I vote let him go.

 

[BrianMonk]

Is there any way to get the plane tickets to transfer to another name?

What about letting your oldest go to Hawaii and having your 11-year old ask a good friend to go with you?

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Well I might be the only one, but I say to make him go with you. Those years that you will all be able to vacation together are quickly fadeing. When he is 16, he might have a job that he can't miss and then comes collage. One big family trip to WDW before all that happens will be so specail. I know he wants to go with his cousin, but I am sure after he gets over pouting , he will have a blast at WDW. I would be extra sure to plans some things that will be geared to him. Hard decision, good luck..


Jordans' mom

 

[memymomonica]

I disagree. Our family didn't take our first family WDW trip until last year. My husband and I are 32, daughter is 6, my parents are 52 and brother is 16. This isn't their first trip to WDW together. You can get vacation time from jobs, college has breaks, life doesn't stop. If they go to WDW every year....when is the next time he will have the opportunity to go to Hawaii. Maybe a vacation away from mom and dad will make him appreciate mom and dad a little more. Some time you need to be away from family to miss it. If he takes the break this year, by next year he may be first in line to go to WDW. Just my opinion.

 

[zalansky]

I am with Jordan's mom. I'd make him go with you. We just took a family cruise in which my two sisters made their 15 & 17 year old sons go - they didn't want to. They went and had the best vacation of their lives they said. They made them go because as mom stated, time is running out for family vacations. Before you know it they will be a thing of the past. Hawaii will still be there.
I think you will really miss his presence if you let him go to Hawaii.

 

[tboss]

I think it depends on your son and his personality. You know him best. You could make some 15 yos go and they would get over it and have a great time. On the other hand, he may really resent it and won't enjoy himself anyway because he didn't get to go to Hawaii. I know it's hard, but I'd probably let him make his decision. He's getting to that age.

 

[LKS]

Is there not some way one of the trips can be rescheduled? I know you have bought air tickets already, but perhaps the other family has not yet? That would be an ideal solution.

 

[Sandy V.]

I agree with Jordan's MOM and zalansky. Trips with your immediate family take priority, and yours WAS planned first. If the other family could reschedule theirs, that would be great, but if not, I feel he should go with you to WDW.

In not too many years, he'll be leaving home. At 15, I personally think he's too young to make this decision. Most kids (not all) at that age are pretty self-centered, and they won't think about the importance of family trips - just their own self-gratification. My last sentence wasn't meant as a negative statement about your son or anyone else's - it just means that I believe that most teenagers (and I have two) don't have the maturity and forethought to make a well-reasoned decision about this. It should be an adult decision that concerns him, but he shouldn't be the decision maker.

Good luck!!

 

[luvaladdin]

First of all, your sister-in-law shouldn't have asked your son without asking you first, but it's too late for that now. I would make him go with you, especially because he's never been to Disney World. I think he'll have much more fun than he may think. To me, this should be your call, not your son's, although of course you are weighing his feelings, which is loving and considerate. But ultimately, a decision has to be made and you need to make it. All just my opinion.

 

[safetymom]

I think you should decline the offer to Hawaii. How would your son know he wouldn't enjoy WDW if he has never been. Being with extended family is fun sometimes but eventually all kids would rather be with their family.

 

[disneysnowflake]

Well, he's going. I agree that my sister in law should have asked me first about my son going to Hawaii. I spoke with her today, and she said she forgot we were going to WDW. I agreed with me that she should have asked me first, but since the trip was free for my son she didn't think we'd have a problem with it.

The family decided to go to Hawaii leaving the day after Christmas instead. So, he's going to WDW with us from Dec 11 to Dec 18 then going to Hawaii from Dec 26 until January 2nd.

I knew there was no way I could go to Disney without my son going with us.

I remember one time in the 70s when my older sister came home for a visit. My mom and dad wanted a family portrait done of both parents and all 6 of us kids. My brother was 17 and blew off the appointment. The photo ended up being my mom and dad and us 5 sisters. My only brother isn't there. You know, that photo still hangs in my parents' livingroom, and my parents still wish my brother had been in that photo. I don't want my memories of our first Disney vacation to be ones of regret without my 15 year old.

I think my son will end up having a great time, even if he has to hang out with his lame family.

 

[Sandy V.]

I'm glad he's going to WDW with you! Have a wonderful time!!

 

[Luv2trav]

I agree make him go with you. Especially since he has never been to Disney. Although at his age the appeal of going to Hawaii with his "best bud" is almost too much to refuse. BUT, like others have said your primary family takes priority.

 

[Luv2trav]

WOW... what a lucky boy!! I think if I were your youngest I would feel a tad jealous..

 

[memymomonica]

I am happy everything worked out for you.

Can I just throw something out there though. A lot of the replies made a reference to teenagers and not knowing what they want, not making the right decisions etc. At the age of 15, it will be a year until he will be driving a car. Which means his life and well as others will depend on decisions he will make. I think I would rather a 15 year old regret a decision and learn from it while he is at home.

It has been 10+ years since I have been in high school. I guess I see what teenagers can do first hand. As a Marine wife, I see 18 year olds (not that far from 15) who are in charge of millions of dollars of equipment, who fight for our freedom and make life and death decisions. They are amazing. I think people act like you expect them too. I say, don't treat your teenagers like children, they are much closer to being adults than most want to realize. Now is the time to respect their differences.

Like I said, just my opinion and thoughts. I am really happy that it worked out for you. But it won't be long before he will be on his own.

 

[4greatboys]

Your ds is a lucky boy, WDW and Hawaii, lol. I LOVE both places. I would have made him go with you as well. No way can he really know if he likes it or not until he has been there. MY 2 oldest still like going with us, they are 16 and 13. Of course my family loves the thrill ride stuff so we do plenty of it at Disney then we spend a couple of days at US/IOA.

 

[Belle5]

You know what I would do? (I have 3 teen boys myself 13, 15 and 17.) I would make sure that the trip to WDW is SOOOO fabulous that next time something like this comes up he would know that HIS family knows how to have a great vacation and family time is pretty cool. That way, when he is in Hawaii he is secretly thinking, "Boy, I'm glad I got to go to WDW!" That's just me... I would want to "win" that battle for his heart hands down! Glad he gets to do both and you don't have to go without him. Had it not worked out---I know our family trip would have come first!

 

[HappyLawyer]

This is a family trip and even though he loves his aunt and cousin, he can spend time with them later, and why did you sister in law not check with you first, i don't understand those who cater to the children, the parents make the decisions, as a parent it would be different if you gave him a choice and let him decide but things are already paid for, i'm sure he will have a good time once he gets there, good luck in your decision, but remember make it yours and not the childs

 

[funhouse8]

I'm so glad he is able to go with you. My older son wasn't able to come on our last trip and it just wasn't the same without him and he is 20yo. LOL

I got him to return twice when he was in his teens because he feel in love with Disney Quest. I would try to include this in your trip.

Enjoy your family vacation and take lots of pictures!