My mother died.

[cabanafrau]

Thank you all for the kind thoughts.

My grandfather (my mom's dad) died of Alzheimers back in the 80's.

Her and I had many conversations about it, and she was adamant that there was nothing I should do to prolong her life if she ever got it. And she wanted to stay in her own home, in her own bed, with her dogs as long as possible.

And I did what I had to do to make that happen.

But it was so, so hard.


I keep expecting this feeling of relief, but all I can do is cry.

I hope the time comes soon where more and more often the thoughts of your mother bring a smile to your face. I feel confident enough to say without hesitation that she would want you to remember her with smiles, not with tears.

 

[NFLDERS]

My good thought SHE was loved by a loving, caring son, and her SON was dearly loved by his mom. She is now reunited with your dad, and brother. So very sorry for your loss Willy. I too will keep you in my thoughts, and prayers. Take care.

 

[pryncess527]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find peace in the days to come.

 

[jetskigrl]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[cornflkgrl]

I am so sorry, Willy.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Oh, I'm so sorry.
You've been a wonderful son taking care of her as you have! Your patience and love for her were evident in your posts, and I'm quite certain that you made the last part of her life happier and more comfortable. I'll be thinking of you.

 

[NFLDERS]

Thank you all for the kind thoughts.

My grandfather (my mom's dad) died of Alzheimers back in the 80's.

Her and I had many conversations about it, and she was adamant that there was nothing I should do to prolong her life if she ever got it. And she wanted to stay in her own home, in her own bed, with her dogs as long as possible.

And I did what I had to do to make that happen.

But it was so, so hard.


I keep expecting this feeling of relief, but all I can do is cry.

Willy, that which you expressed in this post is exactly what I did for my mother. I too cried for a long time, if you find the need as I did because I had to eventually fight depression; get help from a professional. I was in contact through email with a therapist, and it brought me to the place my mom wanted me to be, and at peace. Again...

 

[Magpie]

I'm frightened that one morning I too will be the one to open that door and...

Death is incredibly scary. I can sympathize! My mother-in-law was living with us until recently. She decided that she wanted to move into an assisted living facility, where she'd have nurses who could do more for her than I could. We visit her every evening and she has five hours worth of companionship a day (provided by the province), plus the nurses working in the facility. And every time I get a phone call from the home, I feel that same jolt of adrenaline and fear.

It seems like everything we do with her these days is a "last". The last concert she'll ever go to was months ago. The last restaurant she'll ever visit was a little over a month ago (and led to a cascading series of health issues that landed her in hospital for weeks). Last night, we installed her in a hospital bed, because that's what she wanted. But she went and got one of those tables that fits over it, and so now my husband's scared she's not planning to get out of bed again. Mind you... I can hardly blame her. They've had to install a mechanical hoist to get her up, because she's lost all use of her legs, and can't even stand.

 

[~PixieTink~]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[superme80]

I'm so sorry Willie. Praying for comfort and peace during this painful time.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Oh geez, I'm so sorry to hear this! I agree with what's been said - you've been a great son, and I'm sure she felt blessed to have you to take care of her! My mother lives with me, too, and I worry about the same thing...

We're here with you.

 

[Magpie]

I keep expecting this feeling of relief, but all I can do is cry.

Crying is completely reasonable, under the circumstances. If you get around to feeling relief, that's fine, too. There's no "wrong" way to grieve.

Alzheimer's, or not, she was your mom.

By the way, if you're ever eventually up to sharing, I'd love to hear more about her. What sort of person was she, and what was her life like?

 

[robinb]

I'm so sorry Willy {{hugs}}. I'm sending good thoughts your way.

 

[Cadiewampus]

I woke up this morning and looked in on my mother and she had passed on.

She was 82 and had Alzheimers and other health issues and her body just gave out finally.

I knew it was coming and I know it was for the best but I'm still heart broken.

I've lost my dad, my brother, and now my mom.

Any good thoughts and/or prayers would be appreciated.

Sorry to hear. I lost my mom couple years ago to same thing and at the same age. Just know she is in a much better place. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[lakelandgal70]

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. What a good son you are to take care of her. Prayers to you and your family

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Her and I had many conversations about it, and she was adamant that there was nothing I should do to prolong her life if she ever got it. And she wanted to stay in her own home, in her own bed, with her dogs as long as possible.

And I did what I had to do to make that happen.

But it was so, so hard.


I keep expecting this feeling of relief, but all I can do is cry.

You were a good son to her. Prayers that you will find peace and acceptance soon. I am sorry for your loss.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[DaretoDis]

You did all you could. It's hard now, but after a while, we need you.

You're a class act.

 

[lynxstch]

So very sorry for your loss. I know you took care of her, she knew that you loved her. Even when we know it's 'on the horizon', it's still a shock when it happens. God Bless you and your family in this difficult time. Sending prayers your way.

 

[Disney Dynamite]

I am so very sorry for your loss.