My kids' school messes up AGAIN

[dementia412]

Okay my son was sick home today, so the girls went alone. My oldest was in the play last week and they had a party today durring school for half an hour that was going to end at the end of the day. Well my 5 y.o got out of school and stood outside in the freezing weather for a long time (who knows exactly how long) before she went to the office to tell them her sister was taking too long. They took her to the party which was still going on, but didn't bother to call us or anything. At 5pm we were wandering around the neighborhood looking for our 5 and 9 y.o children because they let them party for like an hour after school ended.
They didn't get home until almost 5:30, and we were about to call the police... of course we never thought to call the school because why would we think they would keep the kids so late without telling us. They also kept the older girl at a party after hours knowing she has younger siblings to walk home. Some days I wish that place would burn down in the night so we could be rid of it. Even fireing everyone there and getting new people didn't help.

 

[bumbershoot]

Ugh, I'm sorry.

 

[Schmeck]

Your children were missing and the last place they were at was the school, and you didn't check there first??????? I don't think it's 100% the school's fault that you didn't know where your kids were. And you didn't know where your kids were, but you waited until 5:30 PM to get the cops involved?????

 

[Minnie_me]

Sorry, dementia -- -that sounds like YOUR mess-up to me. You needed to make arrangements for your 5-year old after school if your 9-year old wasn't going to be able to walk her home.

And I agree with the PP that the FIRST place you should have checked was the school.

 

[RMulieri]

Sorry, but i have to agree with the other posters.the first place you look is where the kids were last seen.What time does the school day end that you waited till 530p? Not flaming just curious.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Sorry, dementia -- -that sounds like YOUR mess-up to me. You needed to make arrangements for your 5-year old after school if your 9-year old wasn't going to be able to walk her home.

And I agree with the PP that the FIRST place you should have checked was the school.

I agree.

 

[stacieps]

Why did your DD9 stay for so long without calling you? Seems like 9yo should know if not following their normal routine to call. Did the teachers tell the kids that were staying to check-in with parents? (I know at my our school they are given the option to call someone, but some choose not to.)

I understand you are upset, but if it were me, I'd be more upset with DD (or in my case DS is the 9yo), than the school -- he knows what he is expected to do after school, and if he is doing something differently he has to call (or Mom will come looking for him after a certain time).

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I agree with the other posters that this is not the schools fault, and you should have checked with them first, and MUCH sooner. I'm not sure what time your school lets out, but if they were not home within a few minutes of that time, I would have been on the cell phone with the school as I drove/walked the route that they use. That said, why are you letting them walk home from school? That's not safe anywhere anymore, especially at their age. At one time, I could see the school from my house, but I would still walk to get my child.

I remember a few years ago when I let my children ride the bus. It was the first day of school and they should have been home by 3:30. At 3:45 I was on the phone with the bus dispatcher. With it being the first day of school, the routes got messed up and they ended up not getting home until close to 5:00. Needless to say I was livid because we are within 5-10 minutes of all three schools, and I have done carpool ever since.

 

[Holly]

Okay my son was sick home today, so the girls went alone. My oldest was in the play last week and they had a party today durring school for half an hour that was going to end at the end of the day. Well my 5 y.o got out of school and stood outside in the freezing weather for a long time (who knows exactly how long) before she went to the office to tell them her sister was taking too long. They took her to the party which was still going on, but didn't bother to call us or anything. At 5pm we were wandering around the neighborhood looking for our 5 and 9 y.o children because they let them party for like an hour after school ended.
They didn't get home until almost 5:30, and we were about to call the police... of course we never thought to call the school because why would we think they would keep the kids so late without telling us. They also kept the older girl at a party after hours knowing she has younger siblings to walk home. Some days I wish that place would burn down in the night so we could be rid of it. Even fireing everyone there and getting new people didn't help.

OP, I would feel like I dodged a bullet if I were you.

I'm going to guess that your elementary school aged children get out around three or soon after. That means that your 5 year old was missing for over two hours. I literally cringed when I read that thinking of all the awful things that could have happened.

Another thing, I would never let my nine year old babysit younger children. As a matter of fact, that would be illegal in my state.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but it sounds like your anger towards the school is misplaced.

 

[Aneille]

I don't understand how its a 9 year olds fault for not calling her parents.

The school kept kids after school hours for a school party. Obviously all parents with children involved should have been informed prior to the party. The OP stated the party was to end at the end of the day.

I would have called the school first and earlier but I don't think the OP should be blamed or the 9 year old. Its a teachable lesson for the 9 year old but its the schools responsibility to keep the parents informed of changes.

If I left my child at a friends house and they decided to keep them later than I expected, I would expect the friend to call me. Yes it would be great if my 9year old could remember to do it themselves but they are still a child. I would expect the friend to remind my DD to call or call themselves.

And I don't think jumping at the OP because her kids walk is the point either. Lots of kids still walk to school, and it wasn't the issue. If my kid who is bussed was left at that party how would they even get home if the school didn't inform me. The school certaintly dropped the ball on this.

Would I have handled this a little differently than the OP, probably yes, but if the school had done their jobs there would not have been anything to handle and I think that is why the OP is angry.
.
I am sure the OP was worried sick about her kids while they were missing. Then to find out they were safe at school and yet the school didn't call to inform her that they were not sending them home, is outrageous. I am sure the OP now realizes she should have called the school first but when we are worried we don't always do things that make sense.

Also I am pretty sure at my DD's elementary school they would never allow the kids to walk home after hours anyway. There would be no crossing guards at the streets and most likely by 4pm would be getting dark.

 

[tzolkin]

Well, my daughter does not get home until 4:30 (she rides the bus), so it is possible that 5:00 wasn't that late for this family. I agree with the OP, I do think it's very poor judgment for a school to allow kids to stay after for over an hour without notifying the parents. If one of my daughter's after school clubs are cancelled I get a phone call from the school to let me know she'll be home at the regular time.

On the other hand, I can understand some of the previous posters-- I would have been freaking out and looking for my kids right after school. My daughter's bus was 15 minutes late a few weeks ago and I was very nervous and called the school. It wound up being almost an hour late because they went off the road.

Our school does not allow children to walk home by themselves. And they would not allow any child to stand outside! The kids stand behind a set of doors inside the hallway. When the parent comes, they sign the kid out and the child is given to the parent to take home. The busses drop each child off at their house (we have 4 houses in a row; they stop at every single one) and they make sure that the kid goes inside and that the parents are home. My DD is in 5th grade and the bus driver still does this. If no one is home, they take the child back to school and call.

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree with the other posters that this is not the schools fault, and you should have checked with them first, and MUCH sooner. I'm not sure what time your school lets out, but if they were not home within a few minutes of that time, I would have been on the cell phone with the school as I drove/walked the route that they use. That said, why are you letting them walk home from school? That's not safe anywhere anymore, especially at their age. At one time, I could see the school from my house, but I would still walk to get my child.
.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with letting kids walk to school. Things are safer today than when I was a kid, because we teach our children to be more aware. There are no more child molesters today, we just know more about them. We cannot raise our children in a bubble! My kids start walking to school in first grade, with the older kids. Heck, my 10 year old is allowed to walk to friends' homes all by himself. They have all been instructed, many times, on how to avoid dangerous situations.

That said, OP should've called the school. If my kids are more than 5 minutes late, I will head up to the school.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I guess I am just over protective.

 

[Steve's Girl]

I have a 9, 7 and 5 year old. I would not let them walk home alone! And neither would our school. We live in a nice neighborhood and our city is a very safe place to live. But, still, I would not let them walk alone nor would I expect my 9 year old to be responsible for a 7 and 5 year old. I agree with others. This is the parent's responsibility. Not the school's

 

[MightyMom]

If you point your finger and place blame on others.....remember there are three more fingers pointing at you.

Everyone is responsible in this situation. I think ultimate responsibility falls at the feet of the parents.

The older sibling knew she had to walk the younger sibling home. The older sibling did NOT take action to find the younger sibling when she was detained at the party. This shows irresponsibility. She should NOT be allowed to walk home with her younger siblings.

The teacher hosting the party should have had the children call home. The teacher clearly lacks common sense.

The majority of elementary schools let out around 3pm. If this is true in the OP's situation, does that mean the children were "missing" for 2 1/2 hours. I hope this was not the case because that would be BEYOND irresponsible.

I have two boys the same age as the OP's kids. NO WAY on God's green earth would I EVER EVER let them walk home from school together. NEVER.
I don't care HOW much instruction was given to them about avoiding dangerous situations..... I don't care how responsible my DS9 is.... I don't care how much I trust him.

It is everyone else in this world I do NOT trust.

If a lunatic wanted to abduct a 5 year old.... a 9 year old could not fight him off. and vise versa

If a rabid dog attacked a 5 year old..... a 9 year old could not fight the dog off. and vise versa

And last but not least..... 2 weeks ago a boy was walking down the sidewalk in his neighborhood...... a car lost control, jumped the curb and pinned the boy between the car and the house. The child died. No one knew where he lived or who he was. It's heartbreaking.

I know the critics will say an accident can happen anywhere at anytime.... but common sense will tell you that things are less likely to happen if a responsible adult is vigilantly watching the children.

 

[mjkacmom]

If you point your finger and place blame on others.....remember there are three more fingers pointing at you.

Everyone is responsible in this situation. I think ultimate responsibility falls at the feet of the parents.

The older sibling knew she had to walk the younger sibling home. The older sibling did NOT take action to find the younger sibling when she was detained at the party. This shows irresponsibility. She should NOT be allowed to walk home with her younger siblings.

The teacher hosting the party should have had the children call home. The teacher clearly lacks common sense.

The majority of elementary schools let out around 3pm. If this is true in the OP's situation, does that mean the children were "missing" for 2 1/2 hours. I hope this was not the case because that would be BEYOND irresponsible.

I have two boys the same age as the OP's kids. NO WAY on God's green earth would I EVER EVER let them walk home from school together. NEVER.
I don't care HOW much instruction was given to them about avoiding dangerous situations..... I don't care how responsible my DS9 is.... I don't care how much I trust him.

It is everyone else in this world I do NOT trust.

If a lunatic wanted to abduct a 5 year old.... a 9 year old could not fight him off. and vise versa

If a rabid dog attacked a 5 year old..... a 9 year old could not fight the dog off. and vise versa

And last but not least..... 2 weeks ago a boy was walking down the sidewalk in his neighborhood...... a car lost control, jumped the curb and pinned the boy between the car and the house. The child died. No one knew where he lived or who he was. It's heartbreaking.

I know the critics will say an accident can happen anywhere at anytime.... but common sense will tell you that things are less likely to happen if a responsible adult is vigilantly watching the children.

I would blame the teacher who let a 5 year old (I'm guessing kindergarten) out without a parent or sibling picking them up. At our school, the kindy teacher always waits. We had a similar situation where there was a last minute party for a 4th grader who was moving, and my ds and his friends went, forgetting about my 1st grader. There are lots of parents I know at the school picking up the younger ones (in our town, the older elementary school kids walk), so dd called me, and I came up to the school. If she hadn't, I would've headed up there at 3:35, when they were 5 minutes late.

I love our old town, where kids still walk to school. There are 5 elementary schools, and everyone is within a 10 minute walk of their school, and there are crossing guards at all major intersections, and all of the streets have sidewalks. I walked to school, my dad walked to school, and in the past 60 years, there have been no abductions (or rabid dog attacks).

Next year, dd5 and ds5, in first grade, will walk with their 3rd grade sister, and 6th grade brother, along with another six 6th grade boys.

 

[disykat]

Here's the problem with walkers - the school is not responsible for them getting home.

I'm guessing the "party" kept going by virture of any kids still at school being there. There could have been kids of the staff, the party parents, the afterschool care kids, etc.

I'm guessing if the OP checked, she'd find the bus kids went home as normal, etc. The reason her kids stayed was because they WANTED to and weren't kicked out. It could be they checked to make sure all the kids remaining had permission and her dd stayed "under the wire" or claimed she did.

By allowing the older dd to walk home AND to take responsibility for the younger child, the OP has placed the responsibility on HER shoulders starting at dismissal time.

 

[surfgirl]

bummer it happened. If you've had issues with this school (and it sounds like you have by the "AGAIN" part), I would take extra care and make sure that everything is clearly communicated and there can be no potential problems.

 

[Vijoge]

I have a 9, 7 and 5 year old. I would not let them walk home alone! And neither would our school.

My granddaughter's walk to and from school daily. I'm guessing at least half the kids in their school walks.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

Gotta go with the poster on this one. As a mother and teacher...when school is over, school is over...kids go home unless it is an extra curricular reason! As for not checking the school first...hello? panic, we don't always think of what other consider the obvious.
My DS5's school (hes' in 1st grade) and constantly doing things that put the school as liable...took children to the clinic for school related physicals without representation from the school going with AND without informing the parents that the clinic would be picking them up, dismissing school in the middle of the day without notifying the parent (and our school is on the waterside in the Bahamas without a fence!), and not protecting students from know destructive/physically harmful children. One day the school dismissed early and my DH only happened to be driving by and saw children out of school. He went looking for DS adn he was nowhere around (neither was the teacher--only 1 faculty leaving). Fortunately another parent/friend took him with her. When DH spoke to the principal there was a word of sorry and explanation that they just take for granted the small community and figure the parents know the schedule...NO SCHEDULE WAS SENT HOME FOR THE SEMESTER UNTIL THE END OF NOV!!!
So happy that you children were safe!