My kids are afraid in the house..

[luvestodizz]

2 nights ago we were woken at 330 am by banging on the front door. A man was outside the door and wanted to come in.We do have a storm door that is always locked and he was banging on it. My DH grabbed a baseball bat and was yelling through the door for the guy to leave. He called 911 but the crazy animal wouldn't leave. The kids all woke up and they were huddled in our bed.The police came and it turns out the man was very drunk and thought he lived in our house.Where he came from is a mystery. Now my 5 and 8 yo don't want to go to different rooms alone.My 5yo wouldn't get water from the fridge alone because there is a window there. They don't want to use the bathroom alone either.
Next weekend my Dh has plans to go hunting and I'm getting worried. My 12 yo wants to go too- he said he's not staying alone with just me home. We do have a dog that barks and did bark that night but they don't feel safe. It was very scary but I want my kids and myself to feel safe in our home.

 

[Tinijocaro]

My kids would have reacted the exact same way! It's going to take some time for them to get over it. It must have been terrifying!

 

[luvestodizz]

UPDATE My dog is laying on my boy's bunk beds and I'm in the kitchen. I just banged my chair as I moved closer to the table and she ran to the front door barking crazily. I guess she remembers too.

 

[precious pixie]

How scary for you and your family It may be worthwhile to check into any available counseling services you can get for them to help them feel safe again

 

[LaurenInWonderland11]

Do you guys have an alarm system? I'm not sure if you do or not, but it might really help you guys to feel a little safer in your house alone. We have one and I know it makes me feel a lot safer. Our alarm company even gave us small stickers and a sign to put outside to warn that we have one. I'm so sorry that happened to your family and I really hope you and your children will be alright. I know that must of been so scary!

 

[Dax]

Im sorry..it will take time to get over...something like that is scary...just be reassuring and they will eventually get over it with time...

I was freaked out last night in my own home too..Sh had just gotten home from work, and I had the windows open as wide as they would go, includng the sliding glass door to our porch. The weather here in FL has just been too nice not too. Well just as we settled down to dinner, the dogs started going crazy. This has been normal, ever since one of the dogs passed away on Tuesday, they have been jumpy. Well then the cats come TEARING back into the living room, tails tucked and scared to death. I look at DH, then we hear it..police sirens, and a helicopter overhead! DH quickly got up and locked the screen door, and we lowered the windows a bit..It all stopped an hour later.

Not sure what freaked everyone out, could have just been an animal, but we were not taking any chances..

Hope the kiddos start feeling more secure soon.

 

[dislaney]

I was going to suggest an alarm as well, if you don't already have one. Maybe it would help the kids feel a little safer. I would have been scared as well.

 

[Berrie]

 

[Magpie]

Just give yourselves some time, and make an effort to carry on as usual. Be calm for your family!

My dog was attacked by a couple of pit-mixes, and it was very scary for me. I was going around in circles trying to protect her and every time I backed one dog off, the other would come around at us from behind. They weren't even barking - they were in full hunting/killing mode with teeth bared and ears back. It was only a few moments until the owners came running and no one was hurt, but I got a real fright.

For the better part of 6 months after that, every time I heard a dog bark the hairs on my arms would stand up. I was really jumpy. But I didn't want to freak out my dog, so I practiced calm breathing and worked hard on not over-reacting when dogs ran up to us. I worked on being assertive with them instead of panicky. Finally, the adrenaline surges stopped, but it took time.

Your scary incident only happened two nights ago! You haven't had time to recover yet.

You need to sit down and discuss a plan with your kids for what to do if this happens again. Where do they go? How can they expect you to protect them, and what can they do to protect themselves? Huddling in their bed is not a good survival strategy - even kids know that! Your kids need to know what they can do in the event of a real home invasion. Your 12yo, for instance, can be put in charge of getting your younger child out of the house and going to a friendly neighbour to ask for help. Having an important responsibility like that will make your 12yo more confident.

And while you're at it, this might be a good time to practice fire safety, review the closest exits from your home, and arrange for a meeting spot, if you're all separated.

Your husband should definitely go on his hunting trip next weekend. It'll give the rest of you a chance to see that you don't need him to protect you - you can protect yourselves just fine.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Just give it some time and the kids some reassurance. I agree, just carry on as usual. Kids will follow your lead. If you seem scared then they will pick up on that.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I'm sad that happened to you. I can imagine how scary it was. Wow, even the dog.

I agree with a pp who mentioned considering short term, ie maybe even a visit or two, counseling. Post Traumatic Stress occurs as a reaction to a threat or perceived threat to your life. I'd say this qualifies. Thank God it wasn't more, but if you recognize it for what it was, it will help you along on your path to healing. Do yourselves a favor and find a knowledgable person to talk to about your experiences.

 

[We_Love_Disney]

Is your neighborhood otherwise safe? Is there a possibility that this could happen again? If yes, then I also suggest the alarm system. If not, my suggestion would be to start the desensitizing for your kids. Use it as a teaching moment. Talk about what happened, empathize with their fears, then let them know that it was a freak occurrence and while it was scary it is so unlikely to ever happen again. Find the humor in it i.e. Didn't Daddy look funny in his pj's carrying the bat? I think the longer you allow the kids to be frightened the harder it will be for life to get back to normal.

So sorry your family was subjected to the drunk.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

Maybe you can point out to the kids that although it was scary, nothing bad happened. Your doors were secure, he couldn't get into the house, and the police came quickly and took him away. That shows that even when something scary happens, you are safe in your house.

Teresa