My In-laws are worse than your In-laws!

[AverageDiser]

My ex not so d-h and I had been married for about 4 months when his birthday rolled around. While he was at work I went to MIL's to make whoopie pies for him. I was the only one there, had been there for about 30 minutes when his ex-wife (whom I had never met) walks in the door! MIL had invited her to the party! MIL gets home about an hour later and when everyone starts getting there starts making jokes about how hard I was mixing the filling when she walked in. Gee, wonder why? To top it off, the ex-wife brought a bottle of his favorite $60 cologne. That should have told me something.

More hurtful, when dd was a few months old she was diagnosed with a genetic disease. When we called MIL to tell her, the first thing out of her mouth was "We don't have that in OUR family". I quickly set her straight, by then the "be nice to her" voice was no longer running through my head. When I divorced I think I got the best 2 for 1 deal ever!

 

[scottishduffy]

Well, my FIL and MIL are wonderful people that I love dearly. We see each other regularly and have a great relationship. However, the other MIL (DH's Bio-Mom) is a real pill. Not even DH likes her.

Bio-Mom Claims to fame!
** Abandoned DH at the age of 2 for a man who just 2 weeks prior had threatened to kill DH and been involved in a police stand-off. (I dunno.... for me, threatening to kill my child would be a deal breaker.)

*** Threatened to pull DH out of college unless he stopped dating me and started 'sowing his wold oats'.

*** Told DH she had always really wanted a daughter, and that if she could take him back and trade him for a girl she would. She would have loved a daughter more and wouldn't have left a girl.

*** Two weeks before our marriage (we had been dating 6 yrs) she called my parents to tell them I was a skank and was ruining her son. She told my parents to call off the wedding. I am not entirely sure what she thought their reaction to this would be. "You know what, now that you mention it.... Duff IS A SKANK! We'll call things off immediately! Thank you for informing us of this and for saving your boy from our treacherous succubus of a daughter."

*** Attempted to sabotage DH from getting his Master's degree to prove to DH that he would be failure just like she said he would. We fixed that little issue with the school.

We had an almost 2 yr period where DH didn't speak to her until she agreed to apologize to him and me for disrespectful behavior and abide by a few rules. Things were great for the past 2 yrs since she apologized. Not perfect, but they had a tenuous relationship. If only this woman knew I was the sole reason DH gave her another chance! I don't want him to have regrets about her.

Most recent escapade?

** We just had our first child and have given MIL a chance to be in our lives again. We scheduled DD's baptism in October and did not consult anybody but the godparents (who have very difficult shcedules) about the date for said event. After selecting a date early in the month we informed all the parents of the date. MIL throws a fit because she has to go to Italy in November. Ummmm, the baptism is in October and she is driving distance from us. Nope!! She says we must change it because it is too quick of a turn around. She says she had planned to go shopping with her niece some time in October.. no date picked yet. She starts screaming at DH saying how we love all other in-laws more and are always inconsiderate of her needs. We told her date stays, and that if she can't be there then so be it. We won't be offended and there will be other events in DD's life to attend.

She always tries to make power plays because it is the only way she feels loved. If people jump through hoops for her they must love her. DH and I don't do this for her but his brother does. She is crazy insecure, and although she did not raise DH tries to act like a "mother" now and control him. She doesn't get that even the people who did raise him don't try to control him. We are all adults now and have adult relationships! She also fails to understand that as years go by SHE will need us.... but not vice-versa.

Thankfully my MIL problems are more funny than harmful since DH has *always* stood up to her. Good thing because she has a whole truck load of crazy in her head.

 

[hereyago]

Bio-Mom Claims to fame!
** Abandoned DH at the age of 2 for a man who just 2 weeks prior had threatened to kill DH and been involved in a police stand-off. (I dunno.... for me threatening to kill my child would be a deal breaker.)


I am not entirely sure what she thought their reaction to this would be. "You know what, now that you mention it.... Duff IS A SKANK! We'll call things off immediately! Thank you for informing us of this and for saving your boy from of treacherous succubus of a daughter."

Ok to the first part: WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, if anyone even my spouse threatened to kill my child, I'd have to go to the dark place inside of me and let "HER" out. What is amazing is that people can't wrap their heads around a "mom" that would put their kid in danger indirectly or indirectly, some women just "don't have it in them" to be parents.

And you have a great sense of humor because I just spit milk all over the place reading the above skank part.

Honestly, is there some sort of "secret" school that make people learn to act like this? It truly makes me sad to read about the ones with the in laws who ignore or disrespect ill kids. it's really a very LOW place to do that to a kid.

 

[dzneelvr]

This thread is very theraputic and I thank each and every one of you for sharing your stories.My MIL and FIL wanted to reinvent me into their ideal do-whatever-we-say-you-do DIL to keep DH suffocated. Needless to say, I am the polar opposite of any such nonsense. It's led to bitter fights, ultimatums and the like, but DH and I are fabulously happy with our family environment and MIL and FIL just hang around the fringes and have for some years. The one thing for those of you with kids....once they get older, they see them for what they are. DS and DD tolerate their grandparents, but they will never trust them. As for WDW, well, let's just say MIL and FIL think it's total nonsense we "take" DS and DD to "that place" every year for a vacation 'nough said.

 

[wifeofjack]

My daughter was the first grandchild, the next one came when DD was 11 years old. After the birth of the second, dear MIL made the comment that she was thrilled to be a grandmother and was so excited to finally have a "real" grandchild. But, what should I have expected from a woman who had told her son all his life that because he was a twin and the other one did not survive, that HE should have been the one who died, as she referred to it "the stronger one died". The last time she made that comment to me, in front of my DD, I told her "obviously, the stronger one did not die, HE survived and is here now". She is a real bitter pill. Even though we live about 5 minutes away from her, I don't have to see her or deal with her very much, and as for my DD, she only sees her occassionally, which is fine with me.

 

[cassiez76]

ooo count me in with crazy mil!!

june 2010 was our son's 18 month check up. hubby posts a pic of son "reading" a book at the dr's office. innocent little picture.

she lives 18 hours from us. and decides we are horrible parents because he's not talking. that our son is neglected. we never do anything with him, never go anywhere with him...

where she got that, i have no clue, she saw all the pics of him happy and health on my fb. but after that she was de-friended and blocked. best decision ever.

so after she says all this crazy crap to my hubby. he sent me all of her emails, so i know what she said and how she said it.

well my aunt who tests kids to determine gifted/sp. ed is in town and says there is nothing wrong with him, he just doesn't talk. mil wanted her credentials. when mil was told what they were she said oh, she is just a teacher. and my that my mom was just a teacher who knew nothing about kids. ok, yeah, a 2nd grade teacher for 35 years who knows nothing about kids. and my aunt who was a sp. ed teacher for 10 and another 10 spent testing kids...yeah...they know nothing.

mil is a social worker. rarely deals with kids, but she's the authority on everything and is also trying to be his pediatrician. my mom and aunt have at least 40 more years exp. with kids than she does.

mil also tore her only son (my hubby) a new one over old stuff....back when he was with his ex.

she eventually apologized to her son. i saw the email she sent and it was so far from an apology i laughed. hubby says, you need to tell wife (me) you're sorry too. she says that email is good enough, no.

so now i've washed my hands of her.

on our trip to visit where she lives, we stayed with fil and his family. i let hubby go visit her with our son. she wanted to buy me some expensive chocolate as a peace offering. sorry, i don't play that.

after we were home a week, she started texting and emailing me about how she missed me. i told hubby he has to deal with her, not me. you can't call me a horrible parent and expect to be forgiven. especially when i've been with him all day everyday until he was 15 months old at that point.

and that was just the last thing. when we got married, it was july, outside in new orleans. 97+ degrees. we told everybody for the rehearsal to wear shorts/cool clothes cause it was going to be outside for 45 min. they came all dressed up.

my mom told me after we get back from the honeymoon that mil came up to her and said we were very uncooth for not being dressed up for our wedding rehearsal.

when our son was born, mil and her bf came down for 2 weeks. nobody lifted a finger to clean up their mess. i had a c-section and on xmas day, 10 days later, i was filling up the dishwasher cause every space of counter top was covered with dirty dishes. nobody swept up the dog hair (our lab) and they brought their lab...i made 4 dogs from that hair.

they also went to eat at all the fancy restaurants and didn't say can we bring you a crumb from the floor?

didn't bring anything for her son for a holiday present. we spent money for presents and i was unemployed at the time. but they stayed here for free and didn't lift a finger.

i'm better not dealing with her, because there's no way i can deal with her bat crap craziness again.

 

[disneyismyname]

For the first time, I'm glad to be single!!

 

[Lassie Lynne]

This isn't in-law but parents.....I just need to vent a little.....

I went home last week to visit my father and step-mother (whom I call Mom and consider her my mother, I lived many years with them both). I counted the pictures on the wall....NONE of me.....yep, NONE......over 100 of my step-brother's, from birth to present day, and I JUST sent them a nice picture of us at Christmas Even my DH noticed the absence of pictures of me, he is starting to wonder if these people really are my parents

..........and they wonder why I live so far away.....

 

[Principessa1284]

Well, when they're not yelling at DH for something that he did or didn't do.. or didn't do to their liking (they're amazing enough, that from 800 miles away they know that he cut the grass incorrectly.), they're making sure to ostracize my gay SIL (DH's sister) and her partner, and their children. SIL had one child, her partner had another, both from the same donor so they're brothers which I think is adorable . They came out of their shell after the wedding and said they wanted to visit SIL and her family to get to know their grandson.. and then on the way there they said that they expected "that woman and her child" to be out of the house while they visited THEIR flesh and blood grandchild. DIL posted a few pics of the kids online, and MIL saved some and printed them out.. then proceeded to cut out "the other child" and frame the picture of her grandchild. Yeah..

Then when they're not complaining about how much better the town used to be without "all the coloreds and Mexicans," MIL complains how our house isn't clean enough (for their surprise visit) and how could anyone possibly live in his filth. She says this to no one in particular, of course, because that would be rude.Not TOO terrible, if they didn't stay for 3-4 weeks at a time and repeat it day after day after day... and then throw out my food from the fridge "because it didn't look good anymore" to make room for their food. Compared to SIL, though, I've gotten off fairly easy. Just don't get me started on how she kept insisting on "helping" before our wedding...

This one takes the cake, though, and has become THE story among my friends and family. Before we were married, I wanted to take the IL's to see the Candlelight Processional at Epcot because they are deeply religious and I knew they'd enjoy it. Keep in mind, this was 2 days before my wedding and I was stressed as it was. My parents came also, and as we walked up to security at Epcot, I see MIL dart back towards the bushes near the parking lot. Everyone looks at each other, but FIL doesn't seem concerned that his wife is going to have a pow-wow with the squirrels, so my Mom and my DH go to see what's up. Mom yells, "we just need to go back to the car, she forgot something!!" DH comes back, and won't tell me what's going on, just that he'll tell me later. Finally I get so wound up that he whispers that his Mom didn't know that Epcot had security now and she had her gun in her purse. I. was. LIVID. And apparently was mumbling something about not bailing MIL out of jail before the wedding. Honestly, what did she think was going to happen to her at Epcot?! Then when that mess was taken care of, we got in the park and ALL SHE DID was complain how hot it was and how much her feet hurt and how dare DH get a beer in front of them! (...they don't refrain from drinking...) They had dressed up in church clothes to see the processional, after I had told them at least a dozen times that we were going to a theme park with lots of walking, and that it was going to be at least 85 that day. I also had given MIL a heads up on the exact pricing how much lunch at Biergarten would cost as the dining packages to guarantee seating for the processional are on the pricey side, though I picked the cheapest one for them. I wanted to make sure that was OK before I made the reservation, as IL's are, shall we say, SUPER CHEAP, even though they are quite well off. She said it was just fine. Well, when FIL saw the bill he nearly hit the roof and started going on about how Disney was ripping him off.. MIL later confessed to DH that she had purposely not filled him in so he wouldn't yell at her about the price. My parents were planning on surprising us and treating everyone, but they weren't able to get a word in as FIL threw down the cash and stormed out. They did, however, calm down enough after lunch to end up enjoying the show..

Ahh.. that feels better. In many circles, I'm know as "the girl who's MIL brought her gun to Epcot."

 

[hereyago]

Where is the tag fairy? I am sorry I don't mean to laugh, I have giggles and these parts just made me lmao.

 

[Jennasis]

I have forgiven her and hope you all will find it in your soul to do the same with yours before it's too late.

I will forgive MIL when she earns forgiveness. Not just handing it out will nilly to a mean lunatic who continues to stab DH and I in the heart and in the back. Until then, she is already dead to me.

 

[Principessa1284]

Where is the tag fairy? I am sorry I don't mean to laugh, I have giggles and these parts just made me lmao.

LOL that's quite alright, I'm proud to say I can laugh about it now.

 

[Lassie Lynne]

Ohhh.....the stories of cheap in-laws makes me think of one from my DH...

His first in-laws were cheap, very cheap. Not poor mind you, cheap. Once he and his wife and in-laws went out to a chinese restaurant. FIL had a coupon for a free cocktail, nothing wrong with this......but......he requested three empty glasses along with the free drink, and then proceeded to split the drink four ways so they could all have "a cocktail before dinner" .

 

[rodeo65]

There are too many to go into but the topper for me was when we called ILs to tell them we were expecting our first MIL started sobbing on the phone and told DH that she had "lost her son two years ago and now would never get to see her grandchild". We had been married two years prior.

A funny one was when future ILs were coming to visit my parents after we had become engaged. They had met but it was supposed to be a get to know you better kind of meeting. I had taken the day off work and travelled the 30 minutes to my parents house to be there for it. DH had to work, and they knew this aheda of time. I helped make food for my mom to serve, cleaned etc. They never showed. The part that is funny is years later when DH was having it out with his mom and gave this example of how they embarassed him and disrespected my family, she said "well we couldn't get there, it was a snowstorm". This visit was in July.

 

[ready123go]

*** Two weeks before our marriage (we had been dating 6 yrs) she called my parents to tell them I was a skank and was ruining her son. She told my parents to call off the wedding. I am not entirely sure what she thought their reaction to this would be. "You know what, now that you mention it.... Duff IS A SKANK! We'll call things off immediately! Thank you for informing us of this and for saving your boy from our treacherous succubus of a daughter."

OMG - HILARIOUS!!! Duff, you ought to take up writing, that is too funny!

 

[Swank]

My ex in laws are great, it's actually my mom who well has always been off the rails on the crazy train. Now, she actually liked my ex and still does, why? because he is a suck up and will enable her behavior unless it has to do with our DD and mom wanting to make another generation of her own personal slave like I was brought up to be, then he steps in.

It's always been "her" world and we are just living in it and wish I could go back in time and smack everyone who allowed her to be this way. and before we go to the oh it's because she is old, think again, it's only amped up now that she is old.

When I was a teenager i bought my first "newish" car, it was 2 years old and I kept it really nice: my DF the sucker that he was would buy her a new car every 2 years-it was a running joke that he would buy her a new car and you wouldn't see her for 2 years until it was time to get another one-she was also a SAHM who didn't stay at home, cook,,clean, etc and I'm quite sure tv show married with children modeled Peg Bundy after her.

Anyway, so I get this car, a month later, it's time to buy the Queen a new one. she has him buy a sister model of my car but with all the bells and whistels, t tops digital read out on the console. she gets it and says: you know you wish you had this car and she wasn't trying to be funny.


When I became pregnant with DD, I was married, etc. I told my parents, DF was thrilled and he was such a great grandfather. Mom was like don't expect me to babysit um, let's see, let me think: would I trust her to watch my kid when she knew someone molest me, not tell my dad, and keep going over there? hmmm,think not. She has never babysat my dd, even after DF passed away, no way.


Fast forward: while exdh and i were still married, we had an arguement, he took my car-different car but this was special ordered and bought right before I met him-so mom is at the house, he comes back. crazy train tells him to leave and take my car WTH?! and it wasn't just the ex who told me, my mom admitted to saying it. I was like you crazy blank, that car was special ordered that I BOUGHT, by this time, my df had stopped buying her new cars and heaven forbid I should have anything "better' then the QUEEN. I got the car back with the windshield busted, but he paid for that too.


DF was diagnosed with lung cancer, I knew I had to take care of him, she flat out refused and would get mad that he couldn't wait on her hand and foot anymore. The last week he was alive, in the hospital, I went to see him and she called demanding i go back home, she"needed" me more, she asked him who would take care of her after he died and this wasn't an "oh, I just don't want you to die I don't want to go on without you thing, it was a " i have been lazy all these years and don't want to stop. I heard the whole thing. The last day of his life, he had me promise to take care of the "queen" and I have been for the past 7 years.

I"ve had my phone line taken out? why? 911 what is your emergency on a holiday? um, my DD doens't tell me she loves me, come make her and the only reason she called on a holiday, well the only friends she has left and who didn't block the number were with their family and they were too busy to listen to her throw me under the bus like she had done with DF while he was alive. Her nickname is Twister because she likes to twist stuff so people will go oh poor you.

So not to metion I can't stand cops, sorry but they are a joke around here and have never done anything to protect me. of course she knows i dont like cops, so she called 911. this happened a coupel times and they wold go oh she is old um yes she is old, but sharp as a freakin tack. new year's eve, she called the cops. Of course she is sneaky i am in the shower: my dog is barking outside, i don't like for him to disturb neighbors, i hear my DD say oh it's ok,he is outside. i walk down the hall in a towel soaking wet almost literally run into an officer thank god i realzied he was or he would hav e gotten a beat down.

he is like did u call, no i was in the shower hence wet. well mom is lying in her room like an invalid, but she can get up at 3 am and fix her food. Ma'mm what is wrong, queen: she won't tell me she loves me, well ma'mm we can't make her. Queen: ok, well she just punched me in the face OH HECK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I said look at her, if I punched her she would be on the moon. he looks nothing no marks bruises,etc then he starts to give her a lecture, she tells him to get out.

She claims her 1st husband beat her, but no one in family saw any bruises and she would use the old my 1st husband made me cook and clean and if I didn't he would beat me tell my df and he would feel sorry for her and she didj't do anything around the house, he would dress me take me to school,etc.


What is funny: she has more rights as an "elder" then I do being my age, it is "acceptable" for her to say the things she does peopel think because "she is old, she doensn't know better? really? not every old person was sugar and spice when they were younger and now they are crazy.

So, she has my aunt and 1 friend left that will talk to her, so she wants to call, I dial the number of my cellphone and I am right there, and she has "thrown me under the bus in front of me, but if I am there I can set the story straight. Then when she did have "friends", say she called them they aren't home, she would call 3 or more times that day, then if they didn't call her back soon enough, their number gets scratched out. How dare they be out living their lives when they should be home waiting for her call. can you say Narcissitic personality disorder? i think you can.



And I am not a big I love you person to her because to her love =I will be your beck and call girl and I am not a child who has to do that anymore and if you say it then don't wait on her then you don't love me, guess not.

But yet, and the fact that neither my df and i thought she would live this long,no flames but she was always thought the first to go, I take "care"of her. cook, cause she doesn't and won't. clean, she pays my dd to clean her room for her. I have been there through pneumonia and surgery on her lung, broken hip, uti fall, all in all 3 rehabs in the past 7 years. I make sure she has her medicine, goes to the doctor. To do it all again, hmm nope I wouldn't.

And I hate when people go, oh you will have good kharma for it , um this is like pergorartory for me so anything after i think would be good. and I am having the house blessed after she passes away, because holy crap i could see her restless soul still callng my name through a door.

You need to put her in a home.

 

[lovindisney4ever]

My in-laws gave me a coat hanger for my birthday <_<

No they did NOT!! LMAO!!!!! Okay, I will quit complaining about my dollar store magnet.

 

[jen0610]

*** Two weeks before our marriage (we had been dating 6 yrs) she called my parents to tell them I was a skank and was ruining her son. She told my parents to call off the wedding. I am not entirely sure what she thought their reaction to this would be. "You know what, now that you mention it.... Duff IS A SKANK! We'll call things off immediately! Thank you for informing us of this and for saving your boy from our treacherous succubus of a daughter."

Thankfully my MIL problems are more funny than harmful since DH has *always* stood up to her. Good thing because she has a whole truck load of crazy in her head.

The 1st bolded line is too funny. I totally get the succubus part. It's a running joke between DH and I that the kids get in on. Whenever the checkbook has to be cracked open and a check written out for something that I suggest, DH always jokes I am a succubus sucking the life outta him. Now that he has to crack that sucker open for things for DD, he calls her a succubus in training. Never mind that DS gets a free pass on anything that he does that cause the checkbook balance to go down.

For the 2nd bolded one, I'm thinking there's a whole lotta MIL's running around with a truckload of crazy in their heads, after reading these posts.

Who wants to host the bring your crazy MIL party? Let's see who's MIL reigns supreme!!!!

 

[HannaBelle]

Who wants to host the bring your crazy MIL party? Let's see who's MIL reigns supreme!!!!

Okay, you could seriously sell tickets for that one...this has the makings of a new reality show!

 

[HillPete]

My MIL isn't mean/evil or crazy, but she's cornered the market on thoughtless and insensitive. The story where she told me about mothers needing their daughters is too long to get into (my own mother has been gone 12 years and I only have sons) right now. Suffice it to say, I'm sill hurt.

The shortest story happened on my birthday this year. She called the night before (my birthday was on Mother's Day this year so I assume she wanted DH and the boys to call her the next day) to say happy birthday and that she wasn't going to get me any more gifts. She and FIL decided that gift-giving should just be for the grandchildren from now on. I must say, I don't disagree with this plan. It makes perfect sense. What didn't make sense was calling me to wish me a happy birthday and announcing that I was no longer gift-worthy! Perhaps a conversation the week before or after would have been more tactful, no? I reminded DH the her birthday is coming up on Saturday. What he does with that info is his business!

--H